Page 6 | To suddenly find this very unattractive

WitchesCauldron · 13/03/2023 20:41

Besswess88 · 13/03/2023 19:39

Am dating this guy.

Early days.

I offered to cook for him.

Asked him, is there anything you don’t eat.

Only veg he eats are peas and sweetcorn and tomatoes if they are in a sauce.

Wtaf? And no he’s not 5 he’s in his 40s

This would annoy me. He's not a toddler.

Asummersday · 13/03/2023 20:41

And that’s what you call a man-baby. Id avoid avoid avoid

singer15 · 13/03/2023 20:41

He's happy to eat around the vegetables? He's not trying to dictate what you can/can't or should/shouldn't cook? I don't see a problem. We all have our quirks. He'd have to accept that if it's my turn to cook and I make something he doesn't like, he'll have to fend for himself, but as long as he's happy doing that, I couldn't care what someone else ate (unless they were my minor-aged child and I felt responsible for seeing that they ate a balanced diet).

XenoBitch · 13/03/2023 20:41

I know someone who seems proud of the fact she has not eaten any fruit or veg since she was a small child. Her diet is very beige.
Ah, she eats potatoes... in the form of chips. That is it.

I can't get my head around the fact she has just written off whole food groups. She has not even tried them as an adult. It is not like all fruit and veg are the same.

SheilaWilcox · 13/03/2023 20:42

JobSeekingMissile · 13/03/2023 20:39

So much judgement. I was abused as a child by a violent and controlling parent; one of the things they did was to force feed me vegetables because they are good for you. I've ended up unable to eat all these foods that are good for me and have an eating disorder.
its embarrassing and makes my life harder as I'd love to eat normal healthy food.
I've got to the point that I tell people now when they mock me and it usually stops them. Unbelievably both parents still comment on it as if they have no idea of the cause and I'm just picky.
Not everyone is in my shoes, but why do you need to judge what he eats? You still eat what you want as my DH does.

I totally get this.
The embarrassment and health implications of not being 'able' to eat veg, but I just can't.

KnittingNeedles · 13/03/2023 20:42

Hard pass from me.

Love food, love restaurants and being restricted to places where this person could eat would not be fun.

bizzywiththefizzy · 13/03/2023 20:42

Zanatdy · 13/03/2023 20:37

Why is a dietary require a red flag? Two of my kids are quite fussy, not big veg eaters. The other eats anything. How bizarre they might one day have a fellow partner think it’s a red flag that they don’t eat broccoli. Only on mumsnet.

People generally have a high tolerance for fussy eating in children , not so much in adults , it's usually something that most kids grow out of if they are exposed to adults eating normally .

WishIdDoneItYearsAgo · 13/03/2023 20:42

Tekkentime · 13/03/2023 20:35

Does fussy eating feel like morning sickness?

I.e, I couldn't stand carrots without being sick, is it like that? Or does fussy eating feel different?

Well, yes for me. Just looking at eggs makes me feel very queasy. If we stay at a hotel with a buffet breakfast I genuinely need to avert my eyes and nose when passing eggs. Mind you, I don’t eat sausages either but that’s a dislike of shite processed meat so I could eat them if starving if that makes sense but no way could I eat an egg.

countingto10 · 13/03/2023 20:43

Well there’s no hope for my 20yr old DS (ASD) then who is food phobic and lives on five things - hopefully he will find an understanding partner in time (he’s had CAMHS involvement etc to no avail) - he doesn’t even like being around food.

smellyflowers · 13/03/2023 20:44

Is he counting onions?

Tekkentime · 13/03/2023 20:44

WishIdDoneItYearsAgo · 13/03/2023 20:42

Well, yes for me. Just looking at eggs makes me feel very queasy. If we stay at a hotel with a buffet breakfast I genuinely need to avert my eyes and nose when passing eggs. Mind you, I don’t eat sausages either but that’s a dislike of shite processed meat so I could eat them if starving if that makes sense but no way could I eat an egg.

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Interesting, thanks

Mirabai · 13/03/2023 20:45

If he’s not on the spectrum, then hell no.

FOTTFSOFTFOASM · 13/03/2023 20:45

smellyflowers · 13/03/2023 20:28

What in case you found out they only ate sweetcorn and peas?!

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No - because I'd rather find what's potentially off-putting about them before I shag them, rather than after. Knowing someone also makes for better sex.

SheilaWilcox · 13/03/2023 20:45

memorial · 13/03/2023 20:39

I'm sorry that's not fussy eating that an actual disorder. That kind of reaction to food is not normal in any way

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I know it's not normal, but what do you do, go to the doctor and say 'I can't bring myself to eat veg, please help me'?
The NHS can't cope with people that are really sick, not just me being a dick.

greenfingers39 · 13/03/2023 20:46

My ex could spot a blitzed vegetable from a mile off, couldn't even hide it in food. I didn't mind as such, but did end up cooking a very small repertoire of foods and losing my love and skills for it. It's all well and good saying just cook what you want and he can eat around it but food waste goes through the roof and you don't want to leave someone hungry. Not necessarily a deal breaker for me but it's a significant thing to consider

Marty897 · 13/03/2023 20:46

@SheilaWilcox I feel the same way, also a ‘fussy eater’. I’ve seen threads like this before and they always make me feel shit. I do eat most veg and rarely find restaurants where there’s nothing I’d eat. But I don’t eat fish or most cheese and that can be challenging especially abroad. It’s texture and smell for me in both those cases and the thought of eating either makes me feel really anxious and sick. I read an article recently about someone who was helped by a private Harley St doctor but I don’t have ££ to spend on it.

memorial · 13/03/2023 20:48

SheilaWilcox · 13/03/2023 20:45

I know it's not normal, but what do you do, go to the doctor and say 'I can't bring myself to eat veg, please help me'?
The NHS can't cope with people that are really sick, not just me being a dick.

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I'm a GP and pretty well known on here for my ranting hut actually yes I would have absolutely no issue with you making an appt to discuss those issues. It's not normal and can't be fun for you. There are things that can help!

JobSeekingMissile · 13/03/2023 20:48

@SheilaWilcox 💐 I'm desperate to have a healthier diet but vomit if I try to eat foods with tastes or textures that the trigger response is caused by; almost all are salad, vegetables or fruits.
I can blend veggies into my own dinner and eat it knowing they are there, but if my body recognises certain flavours / textures then I start to retch and end up being sick.

These responses make me feel awful that I'm viewed this way for something I can't help. It's not being childish, it's a physical response I can't control.

fantasyhomesbythesea · 13/03/2023 20:48

countingto10 · 13/03/2023 20:43

Well there’s no hope for my 20yr old DS (ASD) then who is food phobic and lives on five things - hopefully he will find an understanding partner in time (he’s had CAMHS involvement etc to no avail) - he doesn’t even like being around food.

Sorry about this counting

It must be tough for you and DS with this phobia. There was no indication that OP's BF has any condition, but that is obviously a possibility in which case we should not be making fun of him.

Mirabai · 13/03/2023 20:50

Some people have SEN, EDs - that’s not fussy.

But outwith that - many people who describe themselves as “fussy” eat junk food - burgers, chicken nuggets, chips, crisps, newsagent chocolate. Which to me is the definition of unfussy - it’s just very restricted.

greenfingers39 · 13/03/2023 20:51

To add, going to restaurants isn't an obvious solution as the ALWAYS get the mods wrong, stressful

ShippingForecastMeditator · 13/03/2023 20:51

I'd find this incredibly off-putting because it's the kind of thing I'd expect to hear from a child. An adult fussy eater? Yuck. Does he restrict himself in other ways too?

SarahsHoneydew · 13/03/2023 20:51

I hate veg so it’s a good job I’m not a guy because judging from a lot of these comments it makes me undateable 🤣

MulletAndMustache · 13/03/2023 20:51

JobSeekingMissile · 13/03/2023 20:39

So much judgement. I was abused as a child by a violent and controlling parent; one of the things they did was to force feed me vegetables because they are good for you. I've ended up unable to eat all these foods that are good for me and have an eating disorder.
its embarrassing and makes my life harder as I'd love to eat normal healthy food.
I've got to the point that I tell people now when they mock me and it usually stops them. Unbelievably both parents still comment on it as if they have no idea of the cause and I'm just picky.
Not everyone is in my shoes, but why do you need to judge what he eats? You still eat what you want as my DH does.

💐

Although I believe you can not date someone for any reason at all, I agree some of the attitudes on here are awful.

So many people with issues around food have some sort of trauma in their past or are neurodiverse, and it shows a very unpleasant and ignorant side of those people that are making some of these comments.

Who would want to date someone like that anyway?

I’m a vegan, with a varied and healthy diet and have dealt with some complete dickheads in terms of them judging my diet. And one of my children has autism, she has some ‘rules’ about food, and again, some people just don’t want to understand.

JobSeekingMissile · 13/03/2023 20:52

@memorial unfortunately you sound exceptional. My experience so far has been poor. I'm building myself up to trusting a doctor and trying to get help.
The last one I started to trust just told me my only problem was my weight and if I just sorted that out everything else would be fine. I was too upset to try to explain more, why do people leap to judgement instead of listening?