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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suddenly find this very unattractive

528 replies

Besswess88 · 13/03/2023 19:39

Am dating this guy.

Early days.

I offered to cook for him.

Asked him, is there anything you don’t eat.

Only veg he eats are peas and sweetcorn and tomatoes if they are in a sauce.

Wtaf? And no he’s not 5 he’s in his 40s

OP posts:
NatashaDancing · 14/03/2023 18:55

JackiePlace · 14/03/2023 18:33

It would put me off too. He is probably rigid in other ways also (but I'm not talking about good ways)!

That would be my thoughts too.

Lovelyring · 14/03/2023 18:55

It wouldn't work for me. I get a lot of pleasure from cooking and eating! Drives me nuts having to work around my DSS's very fussy eating.

On the other hand, my husband now likes eating stuff that he claimed not to like when we met. If your guy was open to trying stuff then maybe.

IHaveaSetOfVeryParticularSkills · 14/03/2023 18:56

Jem57 · 14/03/2023 18:45

The only veg I eat are processed peas,I eat peppers,mushrooms,tomatoes,onions but nothing else,what’s the problem?

Frankly, that's over 2x as much as he doesn. Now imagine you just eat peas and sweetcorn.

Some people are not realising that it's not just the number but also which veg.
Eat tomatoes? Great. 7million dishes with tham as main and few other bits, great. Onions? Great. Peppers? Great.

But eating only two non base for anything veggies is making it way more difficult.

northernbeee · 14/03/2023 18:57

Think long and hard about this one before you go any further!! Is it only the veg thing or does he have other food issues? My husband (of 10 years) is a very fussy eater and its a PITA to be honest, but it goes further than what this sounds. If its only veg then you can work round that, just don't give him any veg! We go out for a meal and he ALWAYS has to be awkward and ask for something special and cooking is limited as there's main food groups he won't eat (cheese & butter mainly which turns out is in most decent dishes!)

VioletaDelValle · 14/03/2023 18:58

JackiePlace · 14/03/2023 18:33

It would put me off too. He is probably rigid in other ways also (but I'm not talking about good ways)!

People always say this on threads like these and it's ridiculous.
I have a very restricted diet but I'm really adventurous in all other aspects of my life.

tillytoodles1 · 14/03/2023 19:02

Peas and sweetcorn were the only veg my MIL ever cooked. I love veg and i was horrified. She even put them in a curry along with raisins and coconut. Mind you, her portions were so tiny, it was eat it or starve.

theysaiditgetseasier · 14/03/2023 19:07

I was having a conversation with a colleague today about people not eating any vegetables bar peas & corn, we agreed it's strange and makes people seem immature 🤣

I personally don't like fruit much so I guess I'm strange & immature too!

Tibtilkobkob · 14/03/2023 19:07

Definitely not. It would be a complete dealbreaker for me. Ick-city.

Pandorapitstop · 14/03/2023 19:10

Like a weird child.

MagpieSong · 14/03/2023 19:14

I think a lot of people eat what they’re parents cooked and what others around them eat. My DH was the same but now eats a huge variety of all foods now. His parents were not good cooks and he lived on a beige diet really. I think it makes a difference if veg is seperate/on the side or included in the sauce.

Xtraincome · 14/03/2023 19:16

If you are compatible in other ways, I would just let the veg thing slide. Can you have a choice of restaurants and cuisines or is it fussiness across the board?

With my DH, he will eat anything host's make and will eat anything I make, although doesn't much care for cooked veg, but when we go to restaurants he is noticeably going for the blandest thing.

My DH travels fine but just chooses simple things- food is fuel to him, to me it's a passion.

Bertiebellendy · 14/03/2023 19:22

Dealbreaker for me!

Some people eat more simply and are happy with processed “food like” stuff.

Its not snobby to not want to eat like that.
It just means you’re not very well matched.
Sure he may have lots of other great attributes but it suggests he maybe doesn’t prioritise his health. Which for many people is important thing in a partner.

How do you have genuinely healthy nutritionally balanced meals if you eat like that?
Good food is part of my overall lifestyle.
The meals I cook are from fresh ingredients largely based around vegetables.
Im not cooking two different meals.
I also enjoy eating out at good restaurants trying delicious food with other people who are also enjoying the food.
Its part of the joy of sharing a meal.

Nothing wrong with his choices, for him.
Its just hugely incompatible for many people.

UnfinishedBusiness · 14/03/2023 19:31

Perhaps he’s a super taster.

I think it might well spell the end for me, as food (of all types) plays a big part in my life and is a great enjoyment. Thankfully my DP loves all foods as much as I do.

CocoFifi · 14/03/2023 19:43

What does it matter? You like what you like and he likes what he likes. You obviously don’t think that much of him, if you are being that shallow

Porkandbeans1 · 14/03/2023 19:44

DH was like this. I made it clear it was a deal breaker. I like travelling and it is unacceptable in many countries to eat like a spoilt child. I find it embarrassing. DH now eats most foods.

Cocobutt · 14/03/2023 19:49

Some of these replies are so silly.

Lots of people have sensitivities around food.

My DD has ARFID and is really sensitive to texture whereas some people are sensitive to taste and smell etc.

Some people have intolerances, allergies, diabetes or are vegan/vegetarian.

No one eats every single thing.

It wouldn’t mean the end of the relationship for me if everything was good in other ways.

samsam123 · 14/03/2023 19:50

dont go out with him then im sure he can find someone less judgy

if thats how he likes to eat veg then thats how he likes to eat veg, so what!

IHaveaSetOfVeryParticularSkills · 14/03/2023 19:51

At leaat op knows that letting him go is ok because so many would happily go with his tastes. That's life. There is someone compatible for anyone and some even bend their own likes a lot happily. Some don't.
Life

billy1966 · 14/03/2023 19:51

It would have absolutely been a deal breaker for me.

30+ years ago for our first date my husband took me out for dinner, my choice.
We went somewhere very ethnic that he had never tried.

He tried everything, loved it and it became our favourite restaurant and where we celebrated getting engaged.

Him loving his food and being adventurous was hugely attractive as I loved my food and cooking.

My friend is a wonderful cook and her husband only eats steamed veg and salmon, and a roast dinner occasionally.

No onions, garlic, tomatoes 🙄painful.
He's lovely but she finds it a PITA.

ZsaZsaTheCat · 14/03/2023 19:56

What is ‘ veg based trauma’ 😂 bludgeoned by a broccoli, speared with asparagus, pelted with potatoes !! The mind boggles…….

Wonderingstar1 · 14/03/2023 20:02

AffIt · 13/03/2023 19:55

Yes, OP, you're right - it is ridiculous that a grown adult only eats 'toddler vegetables', but this is MN and you'll have endless posters wanging on about ARFID and allergies and sensory issues and what have you.

For me, I don't want to have to cater to someone's endless fussiness and I'd personally be checking out.

Well, I do have dyspraxia and textures of foods is a big thing for me. I eat more veg than the listed in the OP but hate onion in foods. It is a real thing for some people.

LlynTegid · 14/03/2023 20:07

Presumably he listens to The Beatles as like John Lennon he likes to give peas a chance!!

Given your love of cooking sounds like a dealbreaker to me.

Mrsgreen100 · 14/03/2023 20:15

You can’t date him ffs
that’s just to much

VioletaDelValle · 14/03/2023 20:27

Well, I do have dyspraxia and textures of foods is a big thing for me. I eat more veg than the listed in the OP but hate onion in foods. It is a real thing for some people.

It really is! I was diagnosed with ARFID at 38.
It's an actual eating disorder but it's mocked on threads like these.

I've had therapy and I'm getting better but it's really hard and very stressful.

Notforbeef · 14/03/2023 20:30

For goodness sake. He doesn't like certain foods. He's not a serial killer.