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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suddenly find this very unattractive

528 replies

Besswess88 · 13/03/2023 19:39

Am dating this guy.

Early days.

I offered to cook for him.

Asked him, is there anything you don’t eat.

Only veg he eats are peas and sweetcorn and tomatoes if they are in a sauce.

Wtaf? And no he’s not 5 he’s in his 40s

OP posts:
IndysMamaRex · 14/03/2023 16:51

ICK

My 5 year old has a more varied diet.

Lolalaboucheridesagain · 14/03/2023 17:11

Dump this man child now.

Chaoswithboys · 14/03/2023 17:23

I used to be that person and then I met DH and I tired lots of different foods with his encouragement. I eat most things now but I am still fussy about meat as it's sensory for me. Certain foods make me feel so queasy that I just can't put it in my mouth. I will also eat the same food happily for weeks and then suddenly be repulsed by it. 🤷‍♀️ You could help him if you like cooking but if this is a deal breaker he's not the man for you.

Bleachmycloths · 14/03/2023 17:51

Slightly off topic, I know - my 3 year old granddaughter came home from pre-school with a certificate for ‘trying a sprout’ 🤣. Maybe your new BF should have attended the same pre-school 😀

snowmichael · 14/03/2023 17:52

I you love cooking, fine. Just don't cook other vegetables for someone who doesn't want you to

bonkersconkers101 · 14/03/2023 17:53

Putting aside the question of maturity, it's not very healthy ... I'd find that more off-putting I think.

Worldgonecrazy · 14/03/2023 17:54

sounds Like he has toddler tastebud preferences. That would give me the ick!

linsey2581 · 14/03/2023 17:55

You asked, he replied what’s the problem???

KatherineJaneway · 14/03/2023 18:03

That would put me off.

Jayne35 · 14/03/2023 18:21

I hated most veg with the exception of peas and carrots until I was in my 30s and the first time I tried honey roasted veg in a restaurant was a game changer for me. I eat more now but I’m still a bit fussy so I do sympathise with fussy eaters. If it’s that off putting for you OP then I would end it and look for someone with more similar tastes to you.

Sshiamreading · 14/03/2023 18:25

I would be put off and not so much because I like cooking but because vegetables contain so many essential nutrients and they really should be a part of everyone’s diet. So for health reasons basically. I’d prefer it someone was fussy in another way like they ate most veg but didn’t eat pasta or rice or something.

bizzywiththefizzy · 14/03/2023 18:29

Bleachmycloths · 14/03/2023 17:51

Slightly off topic, I know - my 3 year old granddaughter came home from pre-school with a certificate for ‘trying a sprout’ 🤣. Maybe your new BF should have attended the same pre-school 😀

god I love this so funny 😆

Sluttypants · 14/03/2023 18:31

FOTTFSOFTFOASM · 13/03/2023 20:17

Why are you having sex with him if it's "early days"?

No wonder he thinks he can be fussy about food if he's already got a free shag-pass. He ought to be grateful that he's getting a decent free meal as well as sex.

(Any man who was subjected to my cooking would not be hanging around for the shag).

The Victorian’s called, they want their attitude back!!

JackiePlace · 14/03/2023 18:33

It would put me off too. He is probably rigid in other ways also (but I'm not talking about good ways)!

Justanothercatlady · 14/03/2023 18:33

My husband (before he met me) used to only eat peas, potatoes and plain cauliflower. And meat. Since we’ve been together he’s tried many new foods as he feels confident that I won’t lead him astray with new things. It might be he’s not had good experiences and would be willing to try new things? On the other hand my ex ate like a toddler / teenager- beige food, only Pepsi (no water or juice) takeaway food in gross portion sizes daily. Eating is a shared pleasure (for some) and you have to decide how much it matters if you can’t share.

Sluttypants · 14/03/2023 18:34

This is funny because I’ve met someone who’s the same, but he doesn’t even eat sweetcorn!
He’s absolutely lovely, very mature and the sex is very much the opposite of boring, he is a very talented man.
There are plenty of much worse flaws than that.

Sshiamreading · 14/03/2023 18:41

QueenCamilla · 13/03/2023 21:04

So many people with issues around food have some sort of trauma in their past or are neurodiverse, and it shows a very unpleasant and ignorant side of those people that are making some of these comments.

I wouldn't be a suitable partner to someone with psychological trauma or neurodiversity. Just as I couldn't date a fussy eater, someone in debt, a smoker, a vegan, someone with small children... What is ignorant or unpleasant about that?

And that is fair enough and I say this as a ND person who was an extremely fussy eater until age 14.

it’s absolutely fine for someone not to want to date someone who is a fussy eater irrespective of the reasons behind it. I would definitely be friends with a fussy eater though because I don’t think they are beneath me or a bad person or even necessarily immature - just not a suitable life partner.

Notjustabrunette · 14/03/2023 18:41

I was thinking today of an ex who wouldn’t eat nuts. The reason why he wouldn’t eat nuts was because his mum wouldn’t let him when he was little in case he coked. He was in his 20’s ffs! Too old to be worried about choking on nuts! I found it very unattractive.

Jem57 · 14/03/2023 18:45

The only veg I eat are processed peas,I eat peppers,mushrooms,tomatoes,onions but nothing else,what’s the problem?

Bleachmycloths · 14/03/2023 18:45

Sluttypants · 14/03/2023 18:31

The Victorian’s called, they want their attitude back!!

Show quote history

I agree with the ‘Victorians’ comment. I try to be accepting and broad minded but ‘free shag-pass’ is an awful thing to say. Sounds like FOTTFSOFTFOASM might be being purposely provocative.

Lolalady · 14/03/2023 18:47

My late husband was a very picky eater. As time went on it drove me nuts! If we were invited out to dinner I had to say to
the hostess I’m sorry but he only eats x,y,z. I loathed food shopping because it was hard work planning meals he’d eat. There would be all this lovely food and I couldn’t buy it because DH wouldn’t eat it! I vowed and declared I would never again be with a man who was fussy with his food!

petshihtzu · 14/03/2023 18:49

Sweetcorn isn't even veg 😭

schmalex · 14/03/2023 18:50

I could not date someone like this.

Sshiamreading · 14/03/2023 18:52

“I fucking hate the way so many women compromise their nutrition, their fitness, their lifestyle, their overall health, out of a fucked up co-dependent need to match and fit in with whatever mediocre male specimen we've been socialised to think we can't live without.“

This. We should be allowed to want to date someone who shares a similar health outlook as us without being told we are judgemental. People seem to be equating an adult not like say cheese or fish or dark chocolate with someone who eats very limited vegetables. The maximum he can get of veggie is 2 a day based on what he eats, while I aim for 4/5 portions of vegetables a day based on many nutritionists advice.

Blossomtoes · 14/03/2023 18:54

The maximum he can get of veggie is 2 a day based on what he eats, while I aim for 4/5 portions of vegetables a day based on many nutritionists advice.

What would stop you continuing to eat as many vegetables as you wanted?