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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suddenly find this very unattractive

528 replies

Besswess88 · 13/03/2023 19:39

Am dating this guy.

Early days.

I offered to cook for him.

Asked him, is there anything you don’t eat.

Only veg he eats are peas and sweetcorn and tomatoes if they are in a sauce.

Wtaf? And no he’s not 5 he’s in his 40s

OP posts:
GrinAndVomit · 13/03/2023 23:28

Prinzesa · 13/03/2023 23:27

Meeting someone with this sad judgemental attitude would be a turn off for me, life's so ironic...

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I’d wave you off with a tin of peas and sweetcorn as a parting gift 😘

Carlycat · 13/03/2023 23:28

Definitely ick central 🤢

Mirabai · 13/03/2023 23:29

ukgone2pot · 13/03/2023 22:44

There are a ton of dishes out there that don't require much veg. That is a fact. I don't eat much veg myself - onions, mushrooms, some salad and peppers at a push. I ate a ton of food in Asia without any issues whatsoever. I much prefer Asian food to Western food though, probably for this very reason. Also, there is a huge difference between a dish having some veg blended in (curries, pad thai, chicken cashew etc) than a British dish serving a separate plateful of carrots, mash. peas, broccoli etc. That genuinely turns my stomach so I know how he feels.

OP - Make some dishes with some veg chopped up and blended in rather than it being separate on a plate. I personally find this way more palatable, and I think he'll probably think the same too.

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There is no Asian food in the sense you’re using it - it’s a vast area from India, Pakistan, China, Japan, Thailand, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Israel, Turkey, Uzbekistan, Israel, Lebanon etc.

Prinzesa · 13/03/2023 23:31

GrinAndVomit · 13/03/2023 23:28

I’d wave you off with a tin of peas and sweetcorn as a parting gift 😘

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my return gift would be some light reading on narcissim 😅

Aussiegirl123456 · 13/03/2023 23:32

Could you not gradually introduce new foods to him, like one would do with a toddler? My husband didn’t like most of what he eats today as his mum only ever bought frozen veg and boiled it into oblivion. I cook different and he tries and likes most stuff.

That is if you feel his worth it. If not just go!

GrinAndVomit · 13/03/2023 23:33

Prinzesa · 13/03/2023 23:31

my return gift would be some light reading on narcissim 😅

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You think it’s narcissistic to be selective in who you commit to share your life with and have sex with?

ChilliBandit · 13/03/2023 23:34

arethereanyleftatall · 13/03/2023 22:57

Depends which restaurants you want to go to @Prinzesa
I like going to restaurants with tasting menus.
I would like my boyfriend to come with me.
There is one option, and one only, and it wouldn't suit someone who only likes peas and corn.
That isn't judging them, that is saying we're not going to like the same restaurants.
Which, for me, is important.
Here's the tasting menu of a restaurant I went to on the weekend. One option.

@arethereanyleftatall - there isn’t actually a huge amount of vegetables on that menu and as long as someone ate fish they’d be fine. The first course is literally bread and butter…

Mothership4two · 13/03/2023 23:35

In your shoes I would judge, sorry, OP. Too much like the kids and having to hide the veg. But if you like him and there are no other major differences then there are loads of saucy meals you could cook - pastas and curries, etc. Also rice dishes like risotto or paella, pies (assuming he eats mash?) and slow cooked meat with some sort of lentils (which will break down into mush). That's if you still want to cook a meal for him.

Mirabai · 13/03/2023 23:35

ChilliBandit · 13/03/2023 22:39

@Mirabai - vegetarian doesn’t necessarily mean they eat vegetables…

Oh - you think vegetarians in India just eat toast?

Starseeking · 13/03/2023 23:37

It would put me off slightly as I love food, both cooking and eating, but I'm not sure it would be a deal breaker if all his other qualities are solid.

ChilliBandit · 13/03/2023 23:38

Mirabai · 13/03/2023 23:35

Oh - you think vegetarians in India just eat toast?

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Err no? but I don’t think they solely eat vegetables either as you implied… Paneer anyone?

Prinzesa · 13/03/2023 23:39

GrinAndVomit · 13/03/2023 23:33

You think it’s narcissistic to be selective in who you commit to share your life with and have sex with?

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You think thats my point?! lol

IHaveaSetOfVeryParticularSkills · 13/03/2023 23:40

Oh come on. People select partners on so many criteria, yet food match is a no go... Sure.

GrinAndVomit · 13/03/2023 23:42

Prinzesa · 13/03/2023 23:39

You think thats my point?! lol

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I really don’t know what your point is.

This would be a deal breaker for me.

You said that was judgemental.

I’m saying, when it comes to committing to having a long term, sexual relationship with someone, being “judgemental” doesn’t come into it.

ShrinkingItOut · 13/03/2023 23:43

ChilliBandit · 13/03/2023 23:38

Err no? but I don’t think they solely eat vegetables either as you implied… Paneer anyone?

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Most famously eaten with....spinach! Vegetarians in India definitely eat vegetables.

ChilliBandit · 13/03/2023 23:45

Some people on this thread are trying to make out they eat akin to the dishes seen on Great British Menu for every meal, it’s hilarious. Oh if you aren’t eating hen-of-the-woods with a light dashi followed by a sea buckthorn sorbet you are not marriage material.

ukgone2pot · 13/03/2023 23:46

Mirabai · 13/03/2023 23:29

There is no Asian food in the sense you’re using it - it’s a vast area from India, Pakistan, China, Japan, Thailand, Saudi Arabia, Iran, Israel, Turkey, Uzbekistan, Israel, Lebanon etc.

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I was generalising. The point I was trying to make is that there are a ton of dishes out there that the OP and her potential partner could enjoy and get creative with if she enjoys cooking (pad thai, fish, massaman, sushi, steamed buns, gyozas, soups, prawns, noodles, duck, meat, rice, egg, omelette, chicken etc) to name just a few.

I personally don't think veg is a dealbreaker - but that's up to the OP and I guess she's started this thread so she's already probably thinking it is).

ChilliBandit · 13/03/2023 23:47

ShrinkingItOut · 13/03/2023 23:43

Most famously eaten with....spinach! Vegetarians in India definitely eat vegetables.

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I didn’t say they didn’t! I am well aware of the vegetables in Indian cooking! That poster originally inferred that vegetarians eat loads of vegetables. When I said not necessarily, they then bizarrely made the assertion that I thought vegetarian Indians only ate toast…

Mirabai · 13/03/2023 23:48

ChilliBandit · 13/03/2023 23:38

Err no? but I don’t think they solely eat vegetables either as you implied… Paneer anyone?

Show quote history

I never implied they solely ate vegetables. And that’s not what you said either:

vegetarian doesn’t necessarily mean they eat vegetables…

Mamanyt · 13/03/2023 23:50

It might end the relationship with me. Might. I'd spend just a little time tying to get him to expand his horizons a bit, but...long-term? I would get rather depressed fixing the same foods over and over for a lifetime.

ChilliBandit · 13/03/2023 23:50

Mirabai · 13/03/2023 23:48

I never implied they solely ate vegetables. And that’s not what you said either:

vegetarian doesn’t necessarily mean they eat vegetables…

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Eh? Yes that’s what I said, in both posts where I’ve referenced it. I have just realised what poster you are though so I am going to disengage because it’s just not worth it.

adriftindenofvipers · 13/03/2023 23:56

For... fucking... fuck's... sake... would some of you get an actual grip on yourselves??

For all the posturing, I'd hazard a guess half of you probably quaffed a Fray Bentos pie with McCain's oven chips and a side of Heinz beans for your dinner - feck off with all of your fine dining, don't believe the half of it.

The OP has fecked off anyway! Maybe to shag the knuckle-dragging philistine who only eats peas and sweetcorn...

Mirabai · 13/03/2023 23:56

ChilliBandit · 13/03/2023 23:47

I didn’t say they didn’t! I am well aware of the vegetables in Indian cooking! That poster originally inferred that vegetarians eat loads of vegetables. When I said not necessarily, they then bizarrely made the assertion that I thought vegetarian Indians only ate toast…

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First you mean implied not infer, and secondly where did I ever say India “eats loads of vegetables”?

What I said was 25% of India is veggie.

IHaveaSetOfVeryParticularSkills · 13/03/2023 23:56

Sea buckthorn is fucking amazing in honey

Prinzesa · 14/03/2023 00:00

GrinAndVomit · 13/03/2023 23:42

I really don’t know what your point is.

This would be a deal breaker for me.

You said that was judgemental.

I’m saying, when it comes to committing to having a long term, sexual relationship with someone, being “judgemental” doesn’t come into it.

Show quote history

Just read my posts - in a nutshell I suppose it's that finding someone 'unattractive' because they like different food to you is, not only far less attractive, it's sad, narcissistic and a whole new level of judgemental i.e. ... as per my posts, batshit! 😄😊