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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To suddenly find this very unattractive

528 replies

Besswess88 · 13/03/2023 19:39

Am dating this guy.

Early days.

I offered to cook for him.

Asked him, is there anything you don’t eat.

Only veg he eats are peas and sweetcorn and tomatoes if they are in a sauce.

Wtaf? And no he’s not 5 he’s in his 40s

OP posts:
HaggisBurger · 13/03/2023 22:56

You’d want to be truly awesome in bed for me to overlook that Mr 1970s man.

arethereanyleftatall · 13/03/2023 22:57

Depends which restaurants you want to go to @Prinzesa
I like going to restaurants with tasting menus.
I would like my boyfriend to come with me.
There is one option, and one only, and it wouldn't suit someone who only likes peas and corn.
That isn't judging them, that is saying we're not going to like the same restaurants.
Which, for me, is important.
Here's the tasting menu of a restaurant I went to on the weekend. One option.

To suddenly find this very unattractive
BobLemon · 13/03/2023 22:58

NRTFF, but have we established if he has a backpack?

Prinzesa · 13/03/2023 23:01

@FatimaHatima cant say i know anyone in my life who's ever so much as commented on what other ppl eat so i guess its just alien to me to think someone would reject a potential partner over what they like the taste of 😅 i cant wrap my head around being so short sighted

MulletAndMustache · 13/03/2023 23:01

FatimaHatima · 13/03/2023 22:52

it really really is.
Vegans judge meat eaters. Lots of people judge fast food lovers. People who love spice judge people who only eat bland. People who are adventerous judge those who eat the same things all the time.
And definitely judge grown adults who eat like toddlers.

Show quote history

I just accept that people like different stuff in terms of spicy, bland.

I am vegan and I think ‘judging’ meat eaters is the wrong term. For me anyway. I just wish animals didn’t have to die and had better lives and hope that one day that is the case. One of my children eats some meat and eggs and I don’t judge.

Hearmeout · 13/03/2023 23:02

arethereanyleftatall · 13/03/2023 22:57

Depends which restaurants you want to go to @Prinzesa
I like going to restaurants with tasting menus.
I would like my boyfriend to come with me.
There is one option, and one only, and it wouldn't suit someone who only likes peas and corn.
That isn't judging them, that is saying we're not going to like the same restaurants.
Which, for me, is important.
Here's the tasting menu of a restaurant I went to on the weekend. One option.

See now, a man who was too far gone into twattily drummed up seafood would give me the ick so it's just horses for courses isn't it.

arethereanyleftatall · 13/03/2023 23:08

Absolutely @Hearmeout
That's the point. Compatibility. Or not.

Prinzesa · 13/03/2023 23:09

@arethereanyleftatall i like comedies and he likes action, i like shopping and he likes football, i like tasting menus and he likes mcdonalds - against these seemingly unbeatable odds, a battle akin to romeo and juliets, we still fell in love .... 😅❤️

FatimaHatima · 13/03/2023 23:12

MulletAndMustache · 13/03/2023 23:01

I just accept that people like different stuff in terms of spicy, bland.

I am vegan and I think ‘judging’ meat eaters is the wrong term. For me anyway. I just wish animals didn’t have to die and had better lives and hope that one day that is the case. One of my children eats some meat and eggs and I don’t judge.

Show quote history

Please don't pretend that vegans don't, as a whole, judge meat eaters. Just like plenty of neat eaters judge vegans. You're not that naive, I'm sure.

arethereanyleftatall · 13/03/2023 23:12

And that's lovely @Prinzesa

But other people also get to make their own choices of partner. And one of their wants may well be that their partner likes doing the same things.

RichardsGear · 13/03/2023 23:13

Jesus, these responses are ridiculous. If he's an otherwise kind, decent and likeable person then why reject him because of vegetables. How shallow is that?! And all the smug claptrap along the lines of "Well, I like to experience vegetables from all over the world, simply can't contemplate going through life without the joys of discovering obscure vegetables...obviously someone who doesn't have kohlrabi at least once per day is lacking something, they must be horribly gauche, unsophisticated and unadventurous... not like myself, of course..." - what a load of bollocks!

Imagine if you thought you'd met a really nice man and he dumped you because you don't enjoy curry/real ale/wine/cheese/vegetables and he does. You'd think he was a massive arsehole.

Wellillsayitifnoonelsewill · 13/03/2023 23:13

Wife2b · 13/03/2023 22:01

Irrespective of neuro-divergent etc. people don’t need an excuse to like what they like. Some adults like beige food, it’s nuts that people get the ‘ick’ from it.

Show quote history

Well, yes you are right. I think I’m being overly polite.

I “usually” can’t stand people that judge other peoples food choices. But was trying to not to be too judgmental of people being judgemental and play devils advocate a bit 🤣🤷‍♀️

SleepingStandingUp · 13/03/2023 23:13

Besswess88 · 13/03/2023 20:04

He’s told me he can cook and the sex is fine 🤣🤣

I mean, that's fairly damning with feint praise, just move on to someone you like more.

aviatorsrus · 13/03/2023 23:15

He told you what he would eat. Surely that's fair enough. Is he to eat only what you think is okay for him to eat???
And if he loved oysters and you didn't...??

MulletAndMustache · 13/03/2023 23:15

FatimaHatima · 13/03/2023 23:12

Please don't pretend that vegans don't, as a whole, judge meat eaters. Just like plenty of neat eaters judge vegans. You're not that naive, I'm sure.

Show quote history

I did say ‘for me’. 🙃

But if others judge it’ll be because animals have to have a hard life and then be killed. Its intolerable for some to accept due to that.

That’s a different thread though and I don’t really get into it online.

SleepingStandingUp · 13/03/2023 23:16

arethereanyleftatall · 13/03/2023 22:57

Depends which restaurants you want to go to @Prinzesa
I like going to restaurants with tasting menus.
I would like my boyfriend to come with me.
There is one option, and one only, and it wouldn't suit someone who only likes peas and corn.
That isn't judging them, that is saying we're not going to like the same restaurants.
Which, for me, is important.
Here's the tasting menu of a restaurant I went to on the weekend. One option.

I'd rather be single than date someone who'd only date me if I ate seafood. Bleurgh.

Noodlehen · 13/03/2023 23:16

I guess if you like him it’s not the worst. Put a bag of that frozen pea / corn mix and cook yourself some more decent adult veg and put a bag of that in the microwave for him.

however, if you like cooking and are good at it you may change his mind a bit. My DH was quite fussy, not that bad but still a bit basic with his diet and I love to cook / try new things and he’s as adventurous as me now 4 years later, I can’t think of anything he won’t eat.

Noodlehen · 13/03/2023 23:17

Actually, cooked spinach. 🤣

Prinzesa · 13/03/2023 23:19

@arethereanyleftatall we like so many of the same things also, my point being if you seek to have someone so similar to you that you need to like the same tastes in your mouth? That's insane.
I say it, not particularly to mock though I do find it completely nuts, but to remind ppl to look out for the predators, the cheaters, the gaslighters, the abusers, the mummys boys and even just the incompatible, but to find someone unattravtive for what they choose to eat is a level of judgement that will only lead to your own loneliness.
So much we could be judging people for/finding people unattractive for, does the tastes on our tongues really need to become a thing? 🙄

Prinzesa · 13/03/2023 23:21

RichardsGear · 13/03/2023 23:13

Jesus, these responses are ridiculous. If he's an otherwise kind, decent and likeable person then why reject him because of vegetables. How shallow is that?! And all the smug claptrap along the lines of "Well, I like to experience vegetables from all over the world, simply can't contemplate going through life without the joys of discovering obscure vegetables...obviously someone who doesn't have kohlrabi at least once per day is lacking something, they must be horribly gauche, unsophisticated and unadventurous... not like myself, of course..." - what a load of bollocks!

Imagine if you thought you'd met a really nice man and he dumped you because you don't enjoy curry/real ale/wine/cheese/vegetables and he does. You'd think he was a massive arsehole.

Absolutely this.

GrinAndVomit · 13/03/2023 23:24

It would give me the biggest hard off.

IHaveaSetOfVeryParticularSkills · 13/03/2023 23:25

.obviously someone who doesn't have kohlrabi at least once per day is lacking something

Joy in life. They are lacking joy in life😁
Though I settle for once a week

IHaveaSetOfVeryParticularSkills · 13/03/2023 23:25

I also didn't realise kohlrabi is obscure veg🙈

FatimaHatima · 13/03/2023 23:26

This reply has been deleted

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Prinzesa · 13/03/2023 23:27

GrinAndVomit · 13/03/2023 23:24

It would give me the biggest hard off.

Meeting someone with this sad judgemental attitude would be a turn off for me, life's so ironic...