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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate that my husband does this

264 replies

Hevviie · 12/03/2023 21:52

My husband has a mad food habit (imo) that drives me crazy, but he thinks is absolutely fine. Basically whatever he eats he mashes all together with a fork until it's just a pile of mush. He insists that it's no different to eating the foods individually but to me it's just mad. Like I'll cook a whole roast with lovely crispy roast potatoes and he'll mash them to smithereens with everything else and it honestly makes my heart hurt. He thinks it's none of my business how he eats, maybe he's right. What do you think?

OP posts:
Eyerollcentral · 13/03/2023 00:57

Luredbyapomegranate · 13/03/2023 00:34

It’s none of your business, but it would annoy and slightly gross me out too. Is this a new thing?? Just tell him
if he does it in public you’ll kill him -
people will think he has a baby fetish.

There’s nothing wrong with his teeth is there?

Why do people keep saying it’s none of her business??? Of course it is! They eat together!!!

StopGrowingPlease · 13/03/2023 01:01

Have you ever tried it? It’s actually quite nice 🤷‍♀️😂

OheeOheeOh · 13/03/2023 01:02

Hevviie · 12/03/2023 23:37

But what would you do if he started doing it a few years in?

Show quote history

Tell him to stop as it gives you the ick, on REPEAT. To be fair I think every man has a totally gross habit that they only reveal years in (10 plus years in my case). My husband's is instead of getting a tissue to blow his nose like a normal human he will pick his nose, he will then spend time playing with it rolling it or if it's a bit more snotty he stretches it between his fingers, he'll carry on until it dries between his fingers and then flicks/drops it. It makes me RAGE!!!!!!! If I hand him a tissue mid pick he will refuse it so I have been known to wipe the snot out his hand to stop him putting snot "crumbs" on my (our) sofas.

Hmm your food musher doesn't sound so bad does he 🤔🤣

SunsetStrip · 13/03/2023 01:10

I know it's his business and all that BUT I'd never have been able to marry him in the first place, in fact I doubt we'd have made it to date 2. Lol

Schmutter · 13/03/2023 01:28

I can’t stop thinking about this.

Joking aside, I really would not be able to live with him unless we took our meals entirely separately - and that would be very weird.

AngeloMysterioso · 13/03/2023 01:37

It’s very poor table
manners and an insult to the effort you’ve gone to… I mean you might as well just warm up a bunch of Ella’s Kitchen baby pouches and serve him those!

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 13/03/2023 01:38

My husband's is instead of getting a tissue to blow his nose like a normal human he will pick his nose, he will then spend time playing with it rolling it or if it's a bit more snotty he stretches it between his fingers, he'll carry on until it dries between his fingers and then flicks/drops it. It makes me RAGE!!!!!!! If I hand him a tissue mid pick he will refuse it so I have been known to wipe the snot out his hand to stop him putting snot "crumbs" on my (our) sofas.

What have I just read? Envy

under the patio with him.

WuTangGran · 13/03/2023 01:41

Why don’t you beat him to it and stick his serving in a blender then serve it to him in a bowl?

steff13 · 13/03/2023 01:44

I am kind of squeamish and I certainly wouldn't be able to eat with him if he did that.

Mothership4two · 13/03/2023 01:48

Could it be a stress response @Hevviie? Reverting to toddlerhood and literally making himself comfort food.

Led9519 · 13/03/2023 02:01

I’d start serving it to him pre mushed. I mean cook him his dinner, then get a masher and mash it all up on the plate and I’d say “just serving it the way you like it.”
I bet he’s got a little ritual going and that would really annoy him! 😂

ForeverTheOptomist · 13/03/2023 02:21

That's hideous. I cannot bear bad table manners. It's also insulting if you've gone to the effort of making a nice meal. Tell him it's a total turn off.

My ex eats like a total pig - he loads his fork up and then forces it into his mouth, moving the fork from side to side to make sure he gets it in (small mercies). It's vile.

ForeverTheOptomist · 13/03/2023 02:23

WuTangGran · 13/03/2023 01:41

Why don’t you beat him to it and stick his serving in a blender then serve it to him in a bowl?

😁

ForeverTheOptomist · 13/03/2023 02:24

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 13/03/2023 01:38

My husband's is instead of getting a tissue to blow his nose like a normal human he will pick his nose, he will then spend time playing with it rolling it or if it's a bit more snotty he stretches it between his fingers, he'll carry on until it dries between his fingers and then flicks/drops it. It makes me RAGE!!!!!!! If I hand him a tissue mid pick he will refuse it so I have been known to wipe the snot out his hand to stop him putting snot "crumbs" on my (our) sofas.

What have I just read? Envy

under the patio with him.

I nearly hit the report icon

dudsville · 13/03/2023 02:29

Do you move in a social network that holds this as an ethic mandatory for its members to hold? If not, then just eat your own food. I move in a social network that has a wide range of eating etiquette, so i just don't look at how others eat and i pay attention to the content of the conversation.

JennyJenny8675309 · 13/03/2023 02:34

Get a three-sided study/privacy board like they use at school. Put it around his plate so you don’t have to see what’s going on over there.

discobrain · 13/03/2023 02:43

This is how folks get hangups about eating, stop criticising him and let him eat the way he wants.

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 13/03/2023 02:52

discobrain · 13/03/2023 02:43

This is how folks get hangups about eating, stop criticising him and let him eat the way he wants.

good.

people who eat like that should get hang ups.

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 13/03/2023 02:53

pandering to adults eating like oversized toddlers

fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Fraaahnces · 13/03/2023 02:55

My DH does this and I wonder why I bother making nice individual things. I have been tempted to yank his bowl out from under him, jam the entire contents of his plate into a food processor and return a bowl full of puréed baby food with some kind of gravy or “sauce” and a spoon and then do the aeroplane thing. (Worried he’d like it though.)

discobrain · 13/03/2023 03:01

LOL

Get over yourselves being controlling over people's food.

Eyerollcentral · 13/03/2023 03:08

dudsville · 13/03/2023 02:29

Do you move in a social network that holds this as an ethic mandatory for its members to hold? If not, then just eat your own food. I move in a social network that has a wide range of eating etiquette, so i just don't look at how others eat and i pay attention to the content of the conversation.

Don’t be so bloody pretentious. It’s the most basic consideration you can give to others you eat with not to consume your food in a disgusting way. It is unappetising for other people trying to enjoy their meal. Table manners didn’t spring out of the ether as a set of arbitrary rules, they are there to assist people eat together in a respectful manner. If your comment is a taste of the scintillating conversation you ‘enjoy’ at meals I’d be more inclined to concentrate on anything else possible.

Eyerollcentral · 13/03/2023 03:10

discobrain · 13/03/2023 02:43

This is how folks get hangups about eating, stop criticising him and let him eat the way he wants.

He has only started doing it in the last couple of years. It’s not the way he has always eaten. Correcting people does not inevitably lead to ‘hang ups’, he doesn’t eat like this in front of others, he knows it’s unacceptable.

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 13/03/2023 03:11

discobrain · 13/03/2023 03:01

LOL

Get over yourselves being controlling over people's food.

Nah

JudgeRudy · 13/03/2023 03:15

Eyerollcentral · 12/03/2023 23:58

Water on food is stomach churning. Neither of your examples are comparable to mushing up food like a baby when you are an adult. Of course it’s her business, she is looking at it and it’s disgusting.

Show quote history

@Eyerollcentral You've described the water on food as stomach churning and mushing food as disgusting. I'd say by your own descriptions that makes them comparable. The water is added directly onto plate rather than in the gravy jug. Same result. The food is mashed on the plate instead of mouth. Same result.

I'll give you the pepper. Not evoking the yuk response maybe, just odd.