Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate that my husband does this

264 replies

Hevviie · 12/03/2023 21:52

My husband has a mad food habit (imo) that drives me crazy, but he thinks is absolutely fine. Basically whatever he eats he mashes all together with a fork until it's just a pile of mush. He insists that it's no different to eating the foods individually but to me it's just mad. Like I'll cook a whole roast with lovely crispy roast potatoes and he'll mash them to smithereens with everything else and it honestly makes my heart hurt. He thinks it's none of my business how he eats, maybe he's right. What do you think?

OP posts:
Eyerollcentral · 12/03/2023 23:42

Hevviie · 12/03/2023 23:37

But what would you do if he started doing it a few years in?

Show quote history

Have you told him how disgusting it is? Honestly I just couldn’t tolerate it. It would genuinely make me want to vomit. If it’s a relatively recent development then it’s a bad habit and he can stop it if he has an ounce of manners or consideration.

TomatoSandwiches · 12/03/2023 23:47

I wouldn't be able to eat with him, it would honestly make me gip, get him a dog bowl with his name on and serve it at the back door, disgusting.

tolerable · 12/03/2023 23:47

what??????

JudgeRudy · 12/03/2023 23:48

It's unusual but it's none of your business how he eats....in his own home. I'd expect him to make an effort in company.
I took a red pepper to work for lunch. My work colleges thought it was hilarious that I ate it like an apple yet no-one could explain why. I also freaked a boyfriend out once who poured thick gloopy gravy on my dinner. I like thin. So I poured a little bit of water on my dinner.
I acknowledge I have odd habits so maybe I'm biased. I hold back in public though, l(a bit like wearing a bra).

Mothership4two · 12/03/2023 23:54

That's very sweet @PyongyangKipperbang

No he didn't cut up my spaghetti as a child which is probably why I can eat it like a grown up. He cuts his own up and then mixes it all up with the sauce so he can use a fork to shovel it in. When he or DM cook I don't mind as much (although do a discrete eye roll) but when it's my food it irks. I've also spent quite a bit of time in Italy and have an Italian uncle so I know how sniffy they can be about pasta etiquette - not that any Italians are watching us at dinner 😃

Aquamarine1029 · 12/03/2023 23:54

It's disgusting and the behaviour of a two year old who hasn't yet grasped proper manners. It seems to me he does this to intentionally irritate you.

Apairofsparklingeyes · 12/03/2023 23:56

@Hevviie I’d only give him puréed meals from now on until he promised to stop doing it

Eyerollcentral · 12/03/2023 23:58

JudgeRudy · 12/03/2023 23:48

It's unusual but it's none of your business how he eats....in his own home. I'd expect him to make an effort in company.
I took a red pepper to work for lunch. My work colleges thought it was hilarious that I ate it like an apple yet no-one could explain why. I also freaked a boyfriend out once who poured thick gloopy gravy on my dinner. I like thin. So I poured a little bit of water on my dinner.
I acknowledge I have odd habits so maybe I'm biased. I hold back in public though, l(a bit like wearing a bra).

Water on food is stomach churning. Neither of your examples are comparable to mushing up food like a baby when you are an adult. Of course it’s her business, she is looking at it and it’s disgusting.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 12/03/2023 23:58

I can understand why that would be annoying.

DH puts too much (imo) salt on everything and mayonnaise on absolutely fucking everything. It used to drive me mad when I’d make something really nice and then he covered it in Mayo.

Tbh though he went through a stage of not doing either, to appease me, and it was worse because I knew he really wasn’t enjoying the food so I made it feel even more pointless cooking.

ThinWomansBrain · 12/03/2023 23:59

Sounds vile - buy him baby food.

If I'm going to eat on the sofa rather than at the table, I'll occasionally cut the meat small - but mushing it altogether is weird.

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 12/03/2023 23:59

That kind of behaviour would have icked the fuck out of me the first time we'd had dinner together.

Big no.

Kinneddar · 13/03/2023 00:01

and it honestly makes my heart hurt

Oh ffs 🙄

LunaTheCat · 13/03/2023 00:03

OP I would hate that!
Do you sit opposite him at the table? If so move!
Sometimes the site of my husband eating just is horrible… and he doesn’t mush!

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 13/03/2023 00:06

my heart wouldn't hurt nut my rage levels would soar

SeptemberWeGotFire · 13/03/2023 00:10

I don’t understand. He’s likely done this the entire time you’ve known him. So if it was such an issue you shouldn’t have continued the relationship in the early stages. The man must be sick of you going on about it.

getalifesonny · 13/03/2023 00:14

Gross but tbf it's all gonna end up the same in his mouth. He is just speeding up the process.

mathanxiety · 13/03/2023 00:16

Disgusting. Really uncouth and ill mannered.

I'd have been sent from the table as a child for doing this to my dinner.

AlwaysLatte · 13/03/2023 00:21

So no offence but are you actually a good cook ?or does he need to do that to make it palatable 🤷‍♀️
I love your bravery!

mathanxiety · 13/03/2023 00:21

If it all ends up the same, maybe a pile of shit on his plate would be appropriate?

ALongHardWinter · 13/03/2023 00:22

🤢🤢🤢

Original poster
Hevviie · 13/03/2023 00:31

SeptemberWeGotFire · 13/03/2023 00:10

I don’t understand. He’s likely done this the entire time you’ve known him. So if it was such an issue you shouldn’t have continued the relationship in the early stages. The man must be sick of you going on about it.

I'd say it's been the last couple of years, although he says he's always preferred it that way so maybe he was holding back awhile. I don't mention it every day, i realise that would make me a big old bore. I'm squishing my feelings and posting on Mumsnet like a good girl

OP posts:
Luredbyapomegranate · 13/03/2023 00:34

It’s none of your business, but it would annoy and slightly gross me out too. Is this a new thing?? Just tell him
if he does it in public you’ll kill him -
people will think he has a baby fetish.

There’s nothing wrong with his teeth is there?

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 13/03/2023 00:37

Hevviie · 13/03/2023 00:31

I'd say it's been the last couple of years, although he says he's always preferred it that way so maybe he was holding back awhile. I don't mention it every day, i realise that would make me a big old bore. I'm squishing my feelings and posting on Mumsnet like a good girl

Show quote history

revealing that kind of fucked up behaviour years into a marriage should be grounds for annulment.

Ellie56 · 13/03/2023 00:53

MyBrotherIsATit · 12/03/2023 23:30

he has one toddler habit, why not a few more? Nappies? All in one baby grows? Bittie?

Grin Grin

Eyerollcentral · 13/03/2023 00:54

Hevviie · 13/03/2023 00:31

I'd say it's been the last couple of years, although he says he's always preferred it that way so maybe he was holding back awhile. I don't mention it every day, i realise that would make me a big old bore. I'm squishing my feelings and posting on Mumsnet like a good girl

Show quote history

Seriously stop squashing. It’s a bad habit and extremely bad manners. If he started doing it he can stop doing it. I think you said you had a young child. If he hasn’t got basic table manners remind him a small child is watching him and learning from him. Honestly do not put up with us any longer it’s totally disgusting.