To hate that my husband does this

[Hevviie]

My husband has a mad food habit (imo) that drives me crazy, but he thinks is absolutely fine. Basically whatever he eats he mashes all together with a fork until it's just a pile of mush. He insists that it's no different to eating the foods individually but to me it's just mad. Like I'll cook a whole roast with lovely crispy roast potatoes and he'll mash them to smithereens with everything else and it honestly makes my heart hurt. He thinks it's none of my business how he eats, maybe he's right. What do you think?

Absolutely this

Eww. How massively unsexy. If my husband ate like a weaning baby, I’d be revolted.

I genuinely don’t get the angst over this. As long as my partner chews with their mouth closed and doesn’t make excessive noise when eating then I couldn’t care less how they arrange the food on their plate…it literally doesn’t affect me in any way. And I do expect people to be more relaxed at h9me than in a restaurant. In a restaurant I wouldn’t eat cross legged wearing pajamas but I would at home. But then I am prone to a bit of mushing, I like all the flavours and textures combined.

So I feel I need to know. Does he do this when a) he cooks and b) his mother cooks?

I also want to reiterate that my DH also knows exactly how I feel about the Labrador impersonation. He doesn’t eat like that in public. He did not eat like that when we met.
I am trying to teach my kids not to eat like pigs at a trough - for some reason my son can’t chew without sounding like a horse eating a fucking Apple. I am trying to correct that because it’s gross and antisocial. He’s sixteen and needs to be aware of the impact it has on others. My DH is actively undermining my attempts to point this out. (My daughters are on my side though.)
I know my DH doesn’t think his behaviour is abusive, but it is. It’s utterly dismissive of my feelings. Feelings that he once valued. Now my feelings have disappeared past something of value to something to be openly undermined in front of the kids. There is going to be a serious chat about this on the weekend. He won’t get it - because he won’t want to. And this is what the issue has become with him. His “rights” to do whatever the fuck he wants override the effect they have on me. He doesn’t see the long-term erosive effect as abusive.

I still do this sometimes now- and I do the cooking!

I'v been pressure cooking ( 5 minutes, high pressure) diced/ sliced broccoli, white cabbage, carrots and swede. Rough mash, served with whatever chicken/ meat I'm having. Super quick and economical, might be frowned upon, after reading this thread.

No that's completely different, because you've combined ingredients to form part of a meal.

Nobody's saying you should have gravy granules and water separate on your Sunday dinner.

I wouldn’t give him the chance to mash it up with a fork. I’d blend it all up and serve it in a bowl with a spoon - and throw his pudding in for good measure.

He’s disgusting - he’d be eating on his own.

That sounds revolting! Has he always eaten like a toddler? Do his parents eat like this? I couldn’t deal with that everyday.

I'd just let him tbh. It's not something I would choose to do (although I sometimes mash potatoes into a tasty sauce if there's no other way of getting it all), but it will all end up like that inside him anyway and there are more important things to worry about.

Big at all the enablers on this thread. Cooking for your family is domestic labour, it can also be an act of love or at least consideration. A roast meal can take a good hour and a half to get together. You obviously want the fruits of your labours to be nicely presented and appreciated. Yes, it would also make my heart hurt if the man I'd decided to spend my life with thought so little of my work that he mushed it up, and particularly if he only does this with my cooking.

OP, this is just odd behaviour, don't listen to anyone normalising it. It's one thing to relax and be yourself at home, but we don't all live in a vacuum, we live with one another and once you start breaking down the basic social niceties of living with one another, you have to ask yourself - what's the point in cohabiting? We've probably all got the odd unpleasant habit - spot squeezing, nose picking, hair chewing - but most of us don't indulge in front of others. It's gross, and rude. OP's husband is being gross, and rude, and teaching his baby how to behave too. And as several people have pointed out here, it's a real turn-off sexually too.

I don't think the silly suggestions of pureeing the food are going to help - why descend to his level? - nor that you make him toddler food while you make your own meal - why should you cook two meals? You need to sit down with him and explain clearly, as if to the hard-of-thinking, that his adult behaviour is like that of a child, that it's disgusting to watch, it turns you off him, and he needs to exercise the same self-control that he evidently does when eating out. And if he digs his heels in - well, I'd be wondering what other antisocial or disgusting habits might rear their heads in the future, and whether I wanted to stick around.

It's very interesting that he's only started this nonsense two years ago (so, not autistic behaviour, not a food sensitivity issue!) and presumably when you were pregnant with your now one-yr old. Hmmmm. Does he show his disquiet at not being the only other person in the house, or that a baby is competing for his attention, in any other ways?

OP out of curiosity does it means he eats quicker, and does he stay sat with you while you finish your meal?