Page 7 | Picked niece over me

oakleaffy · 12/03/2023 21:17

Fearnecuptea · 12/03/2023 21:07

😂😂😂

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I had to google that.

''Would you choose me or a hot cup of coffee on a cold winter's day?''

ThePoshUns · 12/03/2023 21:38

Pork or beef?

JudgeRudy · 12/03/2023 21:50

Brunts12 · 12/03/2023 21:09

@JudgeRudy
I suspect poor mental health and/or low self esteem. This one isn't gonna end well.

Bloody hell, Freud entered the room 😂

That was my kind response! But yeah, dont need to be Freud to see thrres definitely something amiss to endure that sort of existence for years and think a desert island dilema is gonna improve things.

Eyerollcentral · 12/03/2023 21:53

JudgeRudy · 12/03/2023 21:50

That was my kind response! But yeah, dont need to be Freud to see thrres definitely something amiss to endure that sort of existence for years and think a desert island dilema is gonna improve things.

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Exactly. The OP is fixated on the niece because the relationship itself seems dire. It’s still not remotely normal to be so jealous of a niece. I wonder if it was a nephew she would be so concerned.

ChannelyourinnerElsa · 12/03/2023 22:05

sunglassesonthetable · 12/03/2023 21:14

*What a completely bizarre thing to have asked.
Hypothetical questions like this are just a waste of time, as hardly ever likely to take place.

Like ''If someone offered you a million pounds, would you sell your dog?''

Chances are no one would offer you a million pounds, and the dog is unlikely to go into a huff if the owner says ''Give me the mone*y!''

How bizarre to live in such a rational world.
Don't suppose you ever play Shag, Marry, Kill then?

Yeah, of course. But not as some batshit way to address my insecurities, and not if I’m going to get upset by the answer!

Mirabai · 12/03/2023 22:10

ChannelyourinnerElsa · 12/03/2023 22:05

Yeah, of course. But not as some batshit way to address my insecurities, and not if I’m going to get upset by the answer!

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Address insecurities or the deep fissures in the relationship? I’d say the latter.

sunglassesonthetable · 12/03/2023 22:17

Yeah, of course. But not as some batshit way to address my insecurities, and not if I’m going to get upset by the answer!

Good for you. 👍🏻

Never batshit. Always in control. With all the answers.

All heart.

sunglassesonthetable · 12/03/2023 22:18

Exactly. The OP is fixated on the niece because the relationship itself seems dire. It’s still not remotely normal to be so jealous of a niece. I wonder if it was a nephew she would be so concerned.

Probably not. She sounds like she feels very vulnerable.

sunglassesonthetable · 12/03/2023 22:19

That was my kind response! But yeah, dont need to be Freud to see thrres definitely something amiss to endure that sort of existence for years and think a desert island dilema is gonna improve things.

' kind response' ? God help us.

Eyerollcentral · 12/03/2023 22:24

sunglassesonthetable · 12/03/2023 22:18

Exactly. The OP is fixated on the niece because the relationship itself seems dire. It’s still not remotely normal to be so jealous of a niece. I wonder if it was a nephew she would be so concerned.

Probably not. She sounds like she feels very vulnerable.

Maybe. Or maybe is insanely jealous and controlling. It’s not really possible to say from the post. But either way it wouldn’t be healthy to pander to this kind of fixation or questioning. If the OP was a man and the female partner was texting a nephew we’d all correctly be identifying this behaviour as a huge red flag. Abusers often try and isolate people from their families by making it easier to drop the connection due to their OTT reactions.

sunglassesonthetable · 12/03/2023 22:32

OP knows i was a stupid f**ing question !!!!!! She doesn't need the clever brigade lining up to tell her that.

She feels sad and upset. She's in a troubled relationship. She feels side lined to this niece.

It doesn't matter it's the niece, it could be the postman. She feels sidelined! By her partner.

She's posting on here for somewhere to go to - she doesn't need a telling off from a load of snarks.

And if 'you don't need to be Freud' to think there are mental health issues ffs why are you still putting the boot in???

Take a look at yourself??

Singularity82 · 12/03/2023 22:34

You need to grow up. You do sound jealous of his niece and it’s a totally bizarre question to ask him.
also you state your relationship isn’t the best “obviously because you have kids…” I have kids, life pressures, demanding career and still have a great relationship with my partner. Look a bit deeper.

sunglassesonthetable · 12/03/2023 22:36

Maybe. Or maybe is insanely jealous and controlling. It’s not really possible to say from the post. But either way it wouldn’t be healthy to pander to this kind of fixation or questioning. If the OP was a man and the female partner was texting a nephew we’d all correctly be identifying this behaviour as a huge red flag. Abusers often try and isolate people from their families by making it easier to drop the connection due to their OTT reactions.

Well you can sit back satisfied that's you've put the boot into
'an insanely jealous and controlling abuser '

I prefer to take the OP at face value.

" not healthy to pander to " . I take that phrase as a bit of red flag tbh.

Eyerollcentral · 12/03/2023 22:40

sunglassesonthetable · 12/03/2023 22:36

Maybe. Or maybe is insanely jealous and controlling. It’s not really possible to say from the post. But either way it wouldn’t be healthy to pander to this kind of fixation or questioning. If the OP was a man and the female partner was texting a nephew we’d all correctly be identifying this behaviour as a huge red flag. Abusers often try and isolate people from their families by making it easier to drop the connection due to their OTT reactions.

Well you can sit back satisfied that's you've put the boot into
'an insanely jealous and controlling abuser '

I prefer to take the OP at face value.

" not healthy to pander to " . I take that phrase as a bit of red flag tbh.

I did say maybe.
‘" not healthy to pander to " . I take that phrase as a bit of red flag tbh’ why??? It’s not healthy to pander to it. People are allowed to freely contact their relations, do you not agree? Why do you think he shouldn’t be allowed to? Does your partner have an input in to who you contact and when?

LuAb76 · 12/03/2023 22:42

sas90 · 12/03/2023 18:51

As the title says. We have been together for a few years and have 2 young children together. We have not had the best relationship obv due to having kids, pressures of working and everything being left to me. Anyway his niece who he gets on with and always texts her. Never like this with me. I asked tonight one of those stupid questions, if me and your niece was left on an island and you would only save one who would it be? And of course he said the niece. I think it hurt me more than I thought it would. My own fault for asking I suppose

Why did you post this, whole situation sounds beyond weird to me

Mamai90 · 12/03/2023 22:43

People are being unnecessarily harsh to you OP.

Yes, it was a silly thing to ask but he's clearly making you feel really shit about yourself in general and I guess because you feel unloved and unappreciated you are jealous of the niece and no matter what other posters said that wouldn't be unusual in your circumstances.

I think his answer proves he's not a particularly nice person because he knew the answer would really hurt you whether it's truthful or not he didn't need to answer. So in a nut shell he doesn't care if he hurts you and he'd choose his adult niece over you. You don't need to be with someone who doesn't value you. I think in your situation I wouldn't want to stay in this relationship anymore.

Murdoch1949 · 13/03/2023 04:56

Maybe he prefers his niece to you. I do.

Sobloodysoreandfedup · 13/03/2023 06:07

Murdoch1949 · 13/03/2023 04:56

Maybe he prefers his niece to you. I do.

omg you’re so funny and original what a hilarious comment

sunglassesonthetable · 13/03/2023 07:32

‘" not healthy to pander to " . I take that phrase as a bit of red flag tbh’ why??? It’s not healthy to pander to it. People are allowed to freely contact their relations, do you not agree? Why do you think he shouldn’t be allowed to? Does your partner have an input in to who you contact and when?

Yes, " don't pander to" someone who is "maybe" a " jealous and controlling abuser" and not just someone who feels sad and 2nd choice to their partner in a fractured relationship and is looking for a steer on MN .

God of course he can speak to his niece. That's hardly the point. It's about something a bit more complex.

sunglassesonthetable · 13/03/2023 08:56

Maybe he prefers his niece to you. I do.

Luckily OP is long gone so she doesn't have to read your snarky, "funny" reply.

Hope posters look out for you if you ever post when you're worried about stuff. But if they're anything like you I doubt it.