Picked niece over me

[sas90]

As the title says. We have been together for a few years and have 2 young children together. We have not had the best relationship obv due to having kids, pressures of working and everything being left to me. Anyway his niece who he gets on with and always texts her. Never like this with me. I asked tonight one of those stupid questions, if me and your niece was left on an island and you would only save one who would it be? And of course he said the niece. I think it hurt me more than I thought it would. My own fault for asking I suppose

I confess to being a bit muddled. Is he inappropriate with his niece? Blood-related niece?

😂

I once had a boyfriend tell me he would save his brother (who he doesn't get on with) instead of me. Thing is, he brought this up unprompted, I didn't ask?! 🤷🏼‍♀️

DB and I send each other messages every day, dh and I not so much, unless one of us is away. If he asked me would I chose him or db I'd probably say db. Especially if it was in a passive aggressive way.

I agree

Mate, does he fancy his niece?

So if you're 34 and she's 29, how old is he?

Yeah, that’s really weird.

He’d save his adult niece over his wife and mother of his 2 children?

Jesus. How are any of you on here saying the op is BU?

Thats seriously fucked up.

I was thinking about something similar the other day. There was a thread on here about what would you do if you got the 10 minute (or whatever) warning of a nuclear attack.

My first thought would be to get to my husband. I would cross literally any danger to be with him and hug and kiss him one last time. My second thought would be, could we get to my parents to say goodbye?

If my Dad asked me who I would go to first I wouldn’t know what to say to him. What a stupid fucking question.

How you managed to get this so arse about face is beyond me.
It's like saying to a mugged person "so you let someone take your purse?"

Did even you bother reading the OP?

I think this is one of those cases where the good old Mumsnet instant LTB is the best for all concerned.

You cant only agree with the answers you want to hear

You clearly are jealous

I would be telling him to f**K off and go live with his niece if that's his attitude

Anyway his niece who he gets on with and always texts her. Never like this with me.

This is why you sound jealous.

I hold my cats in a higher regard than most humans so respect to both you and your husband and congrats on being with each other for that time x

If you asked him, His niece or his children and he said niece, i would understand

But Niece or Partner
Surely alot of people would say there blood relative , especially if they were very close to them

This would piss me off, your own partner choosing his Niece over you?

Can't believe the number of people saying they would be fine with this, just think about it, your Dh saying his Niece is more important to him than his wife/partner?

If your partner texts and makes more effort with his Niece than his own family, then you have a problem .

I would be talking to him about it and if he didn't change the relationship would be over.

Your relationship is ropey. You’ve asked a question designed to see how ropey. You’ve found out. You were hoping he’d validate your relationship and instead he validated your fears.

It sucks, OP. But try not to wallow in that hurt. Use this impetus to either break up or put some serious work into the relationship. Don’t let this drag on for years where you are with a man who doesn’t treat you well.

I’m staring to understand why he picked his niece.

You clearly are jealous.

You are jealous that in a hypothetical situation he said he would pick his niece.

You are jealous that he messages his niece.

It's a ridiculous question. I'd choose my niece. I'd choose DH's niece, too .

The real trouble is you think that he has a better relationship with niece, who is a similar age to you, than he does with you. That's what you need to fix. By the way, how old is your husband? There must be a big age gap either between you and him, or between him and his sibling.

Wait, what?

Shes “jealous” that her partner and father of her children texts/speaks to his niece and seems to care about her more than he does his other half? And when asked by OP (maybe childishly, maybe OP has genuine concerns about his - frankly weird - relationship with his niece) who he’d save - he said his niece?

I wouldn’t be jealous, I’d be absolutely fucking LIVID and would be seriously questioning our relationship- which is presumably why the op has asked the question here - only to have everything twisted by the first couple of posters which the flying monkeys then swoop in on and derail further.

Seriously, which of you here would hand on heart be ok with your partners obvious preference for his GROWNUP NIECE???

I think the mentalists are out in force this fine Mumsnet Eve!

Honestly a really odd question to ask. Also if he he's in similar age to you then the difference in years is small, only 5 years. He's known her since he was 5 (this is honestly just assuming he's similar in age to you) and they're grown up close. He's known you for a few years even if you both do have children together. She's probably like a sister tbh and she's a relative not some random girl. You are being a bit weird.

frankly weird - relationship with his niece)

What is weird about the relationship? If they're similar ages and have known each other their whole lives then they probably fee more like cousins or siblings.

Nothing strange about texting other people more than a partner either. If you live on the same house there isn't much reason to text throughout the day.

Am I missing something? Isn’t the inference that this man in his 30s/40s is behaving weirdly towards his 29-year-old blood-related niece, and prioritising her over his wife and mother of his children?

Or have I got it wrong?