To be fucked off about nursery fees

[Ladyrantalot]

So, here we are, DH and I slaving away full time, paying a grand a month for nursery until our ‘free’ hours kicked in after 2 years. Put off having DC2 because we didn’t have the money to have 2 in nursery at once.

By comparison, my sis who doesn’t work and hasn’t since she quit her job on her first maternity leave 4 years ago, also has 30 free hours despite the fact she’s at home, has no intention of working in the next few years and doesn’t need it 🤷🏼‍♀️

AIBU to find the way us full-time-but-just-over-the-threshold workers are treated fucking maddening? We’re mugs aren’t we? And other people have the nerve to tell us we’re ‘lucky to be working’, yeah right.

I think those things are essential for the good development of the child, taking your sister’s situation out of the equation and thinking solely of your niece/nephew.

So you're just lying just to cause arguments on MN? Crank

What makes me the most sad about people with these attitudes is they're helping to create another generation of selfish, uncaring people who don't believe in living as a society that helps and supports instead of tearing each other down.

More hate, more rage, more bitterness.

And what happens to those children who's parents can't or won't do those things. Not every child has engaged parents, not every parent is capable of doing those things for lots of reasons. I don't understand why so many people seem happy to see innocent children suffer. If the early years funding didn't exist, taxes wouldn't be lower - instead there would become a need for more intervention later in school life for a problem that has become more difficult to fix because it should have been dealt with much earlier.

Oh, do fuck off. So, your children are entitled to have opportunities to socialise, benefit from early years education etc because you choose to work but your sister's children (and many others) aren't entitled to it because she doesn't? Absolutely one of the most odious things I've heard on here. I currently work but will be stopping soon. I am lucky enough to be in a position where my husband earns a very good salary, particularly for the area of the country we live in, so I am able to stop to care for my 22 month old. I will absolutely be using the funded 15 hours for my child when they become eligible. As a family, we have paid plenty of tax and will be continuing to do so through my husband's income. Your children are no more entitled to or deserving of their funded childcare than mine. And I have plenty of pride, but you feel free to go on a judge me whilst I spend valuable time with my child in their early years and you, in your own words "waste your life." Even if this wasn't my position and my husband didn't earn much, so we had to claim UC, my child would be as deserving as yours to access that funded provision. In fact, as others have pointed out, and you dismiss sanctimoniously as "nice to haves" (wow), your sister's child is being raised in a low income household and potentially needs that stimulation and headstart more than children from a higher income family, with the ability to offer more opportunities. Trying to level the playing field and encourage social mobility is important and needs to start as young as possible. Concentrate on your own life and circumstances and what you want from them instead of bitterly judging the choices of others, and begrudging small children from deprived (or otherwise) backgrounds their entitlement.

Excellent point. OP have you tried worker harder or earning more? Maybe you could work nights as well as days.

If you weren't so lazy, stupid or work shy you wouldn't need to claim free childcare, you could just pay for it yourself.

What she said 👆

Or the ones getting it free while not working at all could just work a bit..?

Glad to see the voters agree, even though those a bit defensive about their own position are shouting the loudest on the thread.

I have to say, I agree they nursery fees are extortionate for working parents and I think subsidies should come in earlier where both parents work just like for those on lower incomes but I don’t think children should be denied a nursery setting because their parents choose to stay at home.

It's probably more likely that others at least have a little bit of shame about their abhorrent views.

No I think we should all be working ourselves into ground just to avoid any form of wealth redistribution.

You are very selfish for claiming your free hours when you could just work harder and earn more. Honestly, don't you have any pride?

Good lord, what a petty-minded opening post! I bet family Christmases are a nightmare when you're carrying so much anger and bitterness towards your sister and her family.

This unpleassant attitude damages no one but yourself, OP.

I'm not defensive about my own position at all. Never had help with childcare, struggled through and paid by myself. Still think you're a judgemental arrogant idiot. What difference would it make to your finances if your sister worked?

There are quite a few of us who have no need to be defensive of our positions and still disagree with you though. Me and my partner both work, I still don't begrudge children getting the education they need in order to have a better chance at success in life.

If she doesn't work, then their child only gets the 15 hours free.

The 30 hours is only for single parents working, or a couple where BOTH parents work.

The thing is; in my area of Scotland at least; kids are denied access to the best affordable nurseries at age 2 BECAUSE their parents work.

Same here

Same.

Not necessarily true.

Children have had free nursery funding since 3 for many years . It's education, not childcare

Think yourself lucky, some of us never had 30 free hours . We had to pay for anything over 15 hours until our dcs started school

I do think the system is unfair. I prefer Scotland where we get 30 hours universal from 3 (for which we pay more tax to fund!)

My DD is in P1 (she’s 5) and apparently her year group is not doing as well academically as expected. They think this is possibly partly down to missing so much nursery/preschool during covid.

Early years education has a huge impact on children and society as a whole. The ones that need it most are usually the ones with non working parents that aren’t engaging their children. It’s in all our interests to support those children as much as we can.

I'm happy for us to have a secure social security net.

I can see the advantages of tackling wealth inequality and poverty.

But I can also see the ops point that having the above does lead to abuse of the system and a sense of entitlement

Ooooh ‘angry and bitter’ again lol

Always the go to when there’s no real defence!

Nasty OP. You already have free hours. Why do you feel the need to take away other people's free hours. I guess by the same logic, child free people who work should resent you for getting any free hours since they are subsidising you with their taxes and you chose to have a child so why can't you just take responsibility for your decisions and fund all the childcare.