Guests who never like to join in party games

[SebHH]

We often gather in the same group for family birthdays/occasions- my husband and me, our 3 fairly grown up children, my mother, my MIL and my SIL. I grew up in a game playing family and always enjoy a game on these occasions; my husband didn’t and probably wouldn’t choose to play a game/certainly wouldn’t initiate one but will join in (maybe with an eye roll) if I suggest one. The difficulty is that my MIL and SIL always opt out- it feels more than their not enjoying these things, I think they worry about looking silly etc…They’ll sit and watch and are generally good humoured but it changes the vibe/makes me feel uncomfortable. It almost makes my feel a bit mean suggesting a game now.
My dilemma is… should I not suggest games on these occasions? Or should I go ahead if most of us have fun. A couple of things to add… these occasions are, for the most part, hosted by us- I wouldn’t suggest a game/steer the evening if I were a guest/someone else were hosting. Also the games maybe take half an hour in the course of a whole evening, so for the most part we’re eating/chatting etc
Any views welcome!

For your son’s birthday, absolutely you should do what he wants, but on other occasions not so much.

Him.
Its his birthday.
Dd’s in laws love games, I go with the flow, dh isn’t keen but he usually goes along with it.
Would alcohol help?😂

Also, I dislike the way that people who don’t like to play games are referred to as uptight, boring, fun sponges and other such terms. Just because some people don’t like the same things as you doesn’t make them wrong.

@SebHH it's your son's birthday and he's requested it. So I'd do it on this occasion.

I would absolutely hate this and would avoid visiting if I thought I’d have to join party games.. FWIW I’m fairly sociable but not this forced nursery school type nonsense

Depends on the game. I’d happily join in a game Trivial Pursuit or Scrabble yes. Twister not so much.

They’re not miserable though, OP said they’re quite good natured about it. They just don’t want to join, which is fair enough.

Nothing worse than a “let’s play a game” person.

I hate competitive people and these type of games start as a bit of fun but then turn into a competition and ruin the mood of an evening. I would step away too and as a good host you should allow people to do that without bitching about them

For the posters saying the sons wants have to be met, HOW do you see this happening?

Telling guests, 'he wants to play, tough luck you don't you WILL take part'? 🤨

What do you think that teaches him? People need to do what he wants at times or they won't be allowed to partake in other activities or they're wrong for not toeing the line?

Board and card games? 100% on your side ! My family also did limericks and things and it's a bit mean to make people do these.

Doesn’t sound awful at all OP. We have tonnes of games and fortunately our family love them. The nights are brilliant with lots of laughs. Sadly not for everyone though.

It's your son's birthday and he wants to play a game so definitely play one! They don't have to join in.

It doesn't sound like anyone tries to force the issue so if the games don't take the whole evening but just one part of it, I say continue as you were OP. My DM also likes to play a game of some sort at Christmas for example and I think it would be rather sad if we never indulged her just because a few people don't want to join in, that's fine no one is forcing them to.

I do get it re 'enforced fun' but all those people shuddering in horror at the thought of anything 'a bit silly' - I say what's wrong with a bit of silliness now and again? I love silly!

Also, given some of the comments eg like nursery, party games etc make me think people think it’s like passing a balloon with knees etc. plenty of board and card games out there that are good fun and not childlike at all!

Games are my idea of hell , but I'm happy to sit and watch people play. Each to their own.

Well, mostly. Unless they don't like pineapple on pizza. Then they're wrong.

Christ that is my idea of hell too..I'm a total extrovert but absolutely loathe games. Same with team building and 'bonding'.

As to tonight, if your son wants to play just suggest the game but make it OK for the two who don't like it to watch. Your son would be OK with that surely?

If I've read this correctly the people who like the games are you, your three grown up children and your mother. Those who are not keen are your DH and those who hate are MIL and SIL. A clear family split and yet you still insist on alienating your DH's family by insisting on games. Give over! Just play with your kids and Mum when they're over. You're the host, read the room and stop making your guests feel uncomfortable otherwise they will start making excuses not to come over never mind not to join the games!!

I hate games but quite enjoyed this one en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celebrity_(game)

Get each person to write down 10-20 "famous" names and split into 2 teams, that way they can be as active or passive as they want.

Honestly this would be my idea of hell and a half.

I like playing games! It can be hard to get others to play though. I'm assuming you mean games like articulate by party games. I agree with some other sentiments games that require singing or acting are a bit more embarrassing but if it's just answering questions/describing that's all good fun!
Just One is my current go to, not so much embarrassment people just write down a word. But if people really don't want to play can't make them :(

It’s ds’s party. Don’t disappoint him.

I'm surprised they show up, because if it was me I wouldn't.

A game of cards, Scrabble or similar I'm fine with drawing or impressions I'm not doing it. I prefer strategy games to games of chance.

If playing games at the party means a lot to your son, it might be an idea to have a word with the people who hate playing, and let them know how much it means to him. People can force themselves out of their comfort zones to make other people happy, sometimes.

Nope. You don't get to force adults to do something that makes them feel uncomfortable. Not unless you actually want them to stop visiting. Leave them alone. They aren't interested. They aren't trying to stop,you play your cringey games, just making the decision to not join in which, as adults, they are entitled to do.

Whole heartedly agree! And the others in the family are also happy to do so and watch those who want to play, play. They're not stopping the fun. The issue seems to be them NOT playing makes op 'uncomfortable' and she thinks that as its Ds bday, they should be made to take part if he wants?