A 6am text

[inthegoodlife]

I've NC for this one.
I ran into a friend on Friday and told her than my young children were going away for Saturday night. This is a relatively new arrangement with their father and I get quite anxious when they're there but it only happens once a fortnight and really enjoy that night off despite the anxiety and missing them. Normally I just want to relax and have a lay in so I am recharged for the week.
She's known me for a few years and knows how much I've struggled with fatigue and the general stress of having two little ones on my own.
The other thing is, there have been a couple of issues previously that I've let slide that made me question the relationship and whether she was a genuine friend or not, but they're not clear cut and she can be good fun so I wanted to see past it.
Anyway, when my children stay with their father, I always keep my phone on in case there's an issue. This morning, after having the conversation on Friday with her about having my night off and looking forward to a lay in, my phone pings at 6am. I instantly check it thinking it's the children and it's her! forwarding an article about something health related. Then it pings again, with a follow up message.
Would anyone here text at 6am on a Sunday something unimportant?

I’m another one who uses the do not disturb feature on my phone. I work nights so sleep in the day and could be disturbed a lot. I just allow notification alerts from my favourites list which is DH, DParents, DC and their schools. It is definitely good to know about.

I wouldn’t have appreciated having my lie in disturbed either though.

Would some kind person be prepared to explain to an old useless person how this is done please?

I have an iPhone and have gone to settings and notifications and privacy but it’s really not obvious how to do it unless I am missing something that’s staring me in the face. I’ve searched for “do not disturb” on settings too. Nothing comes up.

On some iPhones it is called FOCUS and is indicated by a crescent moon shape under settings.

I dont have an iPhone but I Google how to do anything tech related (I'm in my mid 30s but hate electronics!)

There are lots of guides for how to do just about anything and some helpful videos :)

How to put an iphone on dnd

This is not overthinking this is a rational thought.

Yes, I think it's quite acceptable to text anytime. When I send or recieve a text the expectation is that you act on it at your convenience.
Personally I don't have notifications on for texts, messenger, WhatsApp. I presume that if something needs urgent attention they'll ring.
I often recieve text messages from early risers before work. Is also get and recieve occasional messages at 3am or similar though usually at the weekend.

Not at the weekend. Through the week when everyone's up and about at 6am onwards getting ready for work and school is different.

@TortolaParadise repeat calls within a short period will come through

Mine is set to allow all calls as I figured in an emergency someone will ring not text. Leaving aside when my younger cousin died my dad sent a text instead of bloody ringing me which wasn't a nice way to find out!

I have to ring people for work starting at 8.30am and people get so grumpy

You don't understand why being woken up at 6am is a problem (when you're tired and want a lie in)? Really?

I'd have texted back "seriously? 6 o'clock in the fucking morning???"

That said, utilise the do not disturb option from now on. Only calls from numbers you specifically choose can come straight through (ie your kids or their dad, or your ex inlaws.) In the case of an emergency, anyone calling twice (or maybe thrice?) within a two minute period would come through too as it would override the do not disturb feature. You won't need to be disturbed by texts.

It's thoughtless, but surely the onus is on the poster in this case to just let people know. (If they ignore requests thats different).
I don't think it's odd to go by the norm. Most people have WiFi or a TV. I have neither so occasionally l need to let people know. Yes there might be one or 2 people who are unable to silence texts but most can. Those that don't mostly don't care or wouldn't get awoken by the notification. I have an older relative who rarely hears her notifications .

OP - depending on what you are using for messaging, and on your phone type, you may be able to have settings that ONLY allow your kids numbers to get through. I have my phone on don't disturb overnight but its set so that repeat calls and some numbers can still get through.

What makes you think she's done it on purpose? Unless there's additional information I've missed that seems a bit of a leap to come to that conclusion.

I think social norms change. I remember asca child if the phone rang you answered it. Now we look to see who it is and decide whether to answer or not. Likewise 25 years ago your 'average' person didn't have an email address. Now NOT having an email is odd.

I can't think of any of my friends or family that don't have DND capability other than one elderly relative with an old Nokia (not smart). She rarely uses her mobile and has a landlines. I dare say the mobile phone is left downstairs or in a draw most of the time.

Thanks so much FurryFrontBottom (interesting nn btw! 😂😂😂). I’m very grateful.

Sorry to be thick but I didn’t anticipate it being this hard to sort out seeing as it’s a pretty basic function!

I don't get treating texts or emails like calls, as though it's rude to send outside of waking hours. No written message needs an instant response, why do people act like it does.

I put my phone on silent when I'm sleeping, with an override for one or two people such as DH. I assume everyone does the same.
Admittedly it would be nice if i could have it only override for calls and not texts, as DH often works abroad and time differences mean he will send things in my night or vice versa.

I can set my phone onto do not disturb but where my 'favourites' can still get through - maybe this would be helpful to stop this happening again

It's a bit early but you don't have to read it.

She's being an arxe put your phone on do not disturb and make a group of people as exceptions (not her). Easy fix ...but to answer your question no I wouldn't text at 6am on a Sunday unless it was fairly urgent.

A bit annoying when you might be worried about the children. She's probably just an early riser and a bit thoughtless. Not everyone lies in on a Sunday. Article sounds boring, though.

That's an excellent idea.

I leave my phone downstairs so it doesn't matter who texts me

I Text at all hours - I have friends around the world do it is always 6 am somewhere. Plus I often don’t reply til late at night - I just assume people have their phone on silent