A 6am text

[inthegoodlife]

I've NC for this one.
I ran into a friend on Friday and told her than my young children were going away for Saturday night. This is a relatively new arrangement with their father and I get quite anxious when they're there but it only happens once a fortnight and really enjoy that night off despite the anxiety and missing them. Normally I just want to relax and have a lay in so I am recharged for the week.
She's known me for a few years and knows how much I've struggled with fatigue and the general stress of having two little ones on my own.
The other thing is, there have been a couple of issues previously that I've let slide that made me question the relationship and whether she was a genuine friend or not, but they're not clear cut and she can be good fun so I wanted to see past it.
Anyway, when my children stay with their father, I always keep my phone on in case there's an issue. This morning, after having the conversation on Friday with her about having my night off and looking forward to a lay in, my phone pings at 6am. I instantly check it thinking it's the children and it's her! forwarding an article about something health related. Then it pings again, with a follow up message.
Would anyone here text at 6am on a Sunday something unimportant?

That's why a second call made after the first gets through.

My phone is set up so calls from certain individuals come through and everything else is silent/straight to voicemail (so texts arrive but no sound) I think all phones have this feature (as I'm forever telling dp who's boss texts at any time - international company) and mine will break a call through if someone tries 3 times in succession, emergency services know this so it's protocol now for mobiles.

Ah,OK.
I've never had an iPhone so am clueless on their features 🤣.

I agree. I message at all hours. I don’t have notifications on and just assume that’s how everyone works these days.

I certainly wouldn’t think someone was being malicious messaging me early. And I 100% wouldn’t do it myself to upset someone!

But perhaps the fact you thought your friend did it intentionally is a sign that you’re picking up on something you don’t like or trust about her?

She was, at least, sending you a link to something she thought would benefit you.

I doubt it’s deliberate. Why would she do that? I accidentally messaged my friend really late one night, as I didn’t realise the time.

Maybe choose to see the positive that she was thinking of you, rather than the negative. How lucky you are that a friend cares enough to send something to you.

If you're daft enough to have your phone in your bedroom and set to ping when a text arrives, it's your fault if you are disturbed.

Sometimes texts arrive hours after being sent.

Sometimes people in different time zones might contact you.

Sometimes you might get a text from a company about an order or a delivery.

You literally have the choice of when your phone makes a noise and when it is quiet.

Highly doubt your malicious friend remembered you were having a lie in, set her alarm specifically so she could wake you, sought out an interesting article as cover for her malicious text.

I would not personally. But if I have my phone on volume overnight I would have to accept that somebody might message.

If it bothers you that much there are apps that can filter out numbers with exceptions.

This is nothing to ruin a friendship over.

You can set your phone to do not disturb but then specify certain contacts who can still ring you. I have a list of people who I would want to take a middle of the night call from.

Also agree with others she probably just assumed your phone would be on silent.

It's in the sound part of settings usually. I don't go to sleep without it. If anything happens during my kip, that's between you and God personally.

As for your friend, I'd be telling her not to message at that time again. But the beauty of texts is you can ignore them until you want.

I wouldn't do it, as not everyone has do not disturb on, and it's not necessary to send to send random messages very early in the morning / late at night.

I would think it was OK because a text doesnt need an immediate reply, unlike a phone call. You respond when it suits you and because people have different lifestyles and keep different hours they send emails and texts at times that suit them and only expect the recipient to reply when it suits them. If I did not switch my phone to DND or have message alerts silenced I would get woken up by messages through the night from all sorts of sources (some is unsolicited spam that is sent out at strange times of the night).

If people take their phones to bed with them, there's always the chance they will ping in the middle of the night. Some people keep weird hours, and then there are newsletters which get queued and sent by automated systems by all sorts of means.

You either don't keep your phone near your bed, or you leave it on silent/vibrate.

Email and text are asynchronized methods of communication, you can send when you like.

Phoning someone at 6am on a Sunday morning would be a different issue!

In any event I would expect someone to phone about an emergency involving the kids, not send a text.

Samsungs have all these features too. I think most smart phones do now as standard options?

thats a big no no and very thoughtless of your friend.

But you can prevent those situation by setting your phone on "do not disturb" mode, and setting only certain numbers that can get through.

Yes. I just do that. Used not to but then I worked night shifts and got fed up with people texting me at 2pm. Which is an entirely good time for most people, but not if you work nights. So the sleep setting with a bypass is your friend.

It would never occur to me not to send a text due to the time. I don’t have any tone/ sound attached to my message notifications, only for calls and I put my phone on silent/ do not disturb overnight. I thought everybody did this. Messages are a type of read as and when communication so can be sent at any times. An emergency will surely come through as a phone call. I will reply to messages at all hours including early morning, late night, 2am etc, I wouldn’t call at those times but a message doesn’t have a time restriction. If you’re leaving message tones on overnight that’s really your fault.

YABU. It’s not her fault that you don’t know how to work your phone. If you don’t want to be disturbed you can turn the alerts off or use do not disturb.

Yes exactly, it's up to the individual to set their phones to DND.

She is unreasonable to send a text at 6am bur you are unreasonable not to have put your phone on DNA. If you are going to use technology, you need to know how to operate it.

most people have DND on their phones, so maybe she didn't realise it would affect you

This is what 'do not disturb' is for. No notifications between 10pm and 6am (or whatever time you choose)

I agree. I wouldn't send a text at that time just incase the other person doesn't have their phone on silent. Seems a bit selfish to me.

Who sends someone a message at 6am? I would never risk waking someone up so I wouldn't.
She isn't your friend by the way op, some people are just weird.

I have my phone set to silent between certain hours except for selected contact numbers. I would have hers not in that list so she can't disturb you that early again.