A 6am text

[inthegoodlife]

I've NC for this one.
I ran into a friend on Friday and told her than my young children were going away for Saturday night. This is a relatively new arrangement with their father and I get quite anxious when they're there but it only happens once a fortnight and really enjoy that night off despite the anxiety and missing them. Normally I just want to relax and have a lay in so I am recharged for the week.
She's known me for a few years and knows how much I've struggled with fatigue and the general stress of having two little ones on my own.
The other thing is, there have been a couple of issues previously that I've let slide that made me question the relationship and whether she was a genuine friend or not, but they're not clear cut and she can be good fun so I wanted to see past it.
Anyway, when my children stay with their father, I always keep my phone on in case there's an issue. This morning, after having the conversation on Friday with her about having my night off and looking forward to a lay in, my phone pings at 6am. I instantly check it thinking it's the children and it's her! forwarding an article about something health related. Then it pings again, with a follow up message.
Would anyone here text at 6am on a Sunday something unimportant?

I did use a Nokia up until not very long ago. iPhones are relatively new to me compared to most people. I won't go into too much personal detail but I'm not great with technology and have valid reasons for that, but I have worked out how to use DND now.

I would think twice about texting before 8am or after 10pm.

I wouldn’t text someone at that time.. but also wouldn’t mind if someone did as that’s what do not disturb is for! I never have my phone on vibrate through the night, I just set it so it rings if certain numbers call.

This is why I left my NCT group WhatsApp!

I now have 'do not disturb' on apart from my husband (would do same if he was an ex) and nursery.

I’m not a morning person so no. I have do not disturb on with certain people allowed to get through plus e.g you can set it so if someone is trying to call repeatedly they can override do not disturb
I hate people who disturb my peace when having rare sleep in but it sounds like this friend my just be trying to connect with you

Well that wasn't an option really. She needed to be contactable in an emergency. I think though its safe to say there's been a few suggestions for a work around. I'm surprised though that someone would be ignorant enough to not be able to even image how being awoken at 6am on Ssturday might be a problem

I'm afraid I do sometimes text at 6am. I get up early and assumed most people have their phones on silent overnight. I have mine set so only my dc who doesn't live at home can get through at night. Nobody's ever mentioned that I've woken them. I go to bed early, so if I don't switch the phone onto silent I can be sure someone will text me at 11pm, but I'd just think it's my mistake for not putting it on silent and certainly wouldn't see it as my friend being thoughtless or uncaring.

But I do sympathise with you missing out on your opportunity for a good night's sleep and with the worry of what the text might have been.

I might send a few messages to my friends now to ask if I ever wake them up with my texts...

This is why I have two phones. Its all very well saying put your phone on silent with emergency divert, but if there's an actual emergency someone who's not on your list might need to contact you (eg the police). Or they might have to use a different phone (eg from a hospital.)

Out of interest Thelnebriati how would they know which number to call you on?

I use Do not disturb but have my family and dh on emergency contact so if they call or text it comes straight through. I woke up the other morning to find a message that had been sent at 3.30am from a colleague 5 hours ahead of me.

YANBU.

Theres a certain smugness about some early risers in that they think anyone who doesn’t rise early is lazy and therefore needs a pole to get up at the same miserable time as them.

Im on the PTA and a couple of weeks ago another PTA member messaged at 5.55am on a Sunday. She got short shrift from me. This is the same woman who doesn’t understand why people don’t join the PTA 🙄

I use do not disturb too and only allow certain apps and phone numbers to still send notifications while it’s turned on.
Me and my friends message each other at ungodly hours so a 6am text is nothing…. I just Wouldn’t be disturbed till the do not disturb goes off. But the 3 of us sometimes message at 4am if we are unable to sleep and if someone else is up we’ll chat

Similar happened to me after 2 year of sleepless nights breast feeding a sleepless baby I said I needed a night away booked a hotel for a night away by myself ,BF said oh can I come , I said ok but I needed to sleep in etc
she called my room at 6.45 am with “ I’m hungry what time are we going down for breakfast?
I am still shocked by her selfishness
and needless to say after a life long friendship that and other similar crap

we aren’t BFs anymore

I sent a text to a friend recently at about 9pm, just as I was going to bed - I start work early and get up about 5am, using my phone as my alarm, and before I get up I check my work situation for the day (which I can do on my phone).

I received a reply from her at about 5.30am, and when I looked, the message had actually sent when I checked what the work situation was like. She must have thought I sent it then! I felt bad about it, but it wasn't my fault.

yanbu but I admit to texting friends at 11-11.30 pm which I suppose is very similar.

I wouldn’t get any texts at 6am as I never get pings (vibrations only) so they simply wouldn’t wake me.

I need to figure this out!

@Willowweaving777 Who, the police? Both phones are registered to me so they could presumably contact me via either phone. But my GP, consultant and the hospital have one number, and Joe Blogs who just wants to be an arse and wake me at 6am is restricted to the other.

That's awful! There have more than a couple of 'red flags' really, and I keep choosing to ignore but I feel like this was the nail in the coffin.

Set your phone to only alert you to your ex's texts

Just set your phone to silent except for emergency contacts - I have mine set up so my elderly parents can contact me at any time but its do not disturb for anyone else. You are expecting her to know about and think about your schedule. But you can set your phone up so you are not disturbed.

To be honest I'm the same as you but vice versa......I take great delight in replying to a message received at 11pm (way too late for me lol) at 6am....... think YABU though because if it was anything serious with kids it would have been a call..... dnd settings to filter the unwanted before your acceptable times

You’re an adult… respond
what the actual duck is that?!? I told you I needed a lay in and you text me this shit at 6am!!!

This

I would text back asking why on earth she text t 6am when she knew you were looking forward to a lie in? If a genuine ‘just didn’t think’ it might make her think next time

Put message tone on silent but keep.ringer on for calls