A 6am text

[inthegoodlife]

I've NC for this one.
I ran into a friend on Friday and told her than my young children were going away for Saturday night. This is a relatively new arrangement with their father and I get quite anxious when they're there but it only happens once a fortnight and really enjoy that night off despite the anxiety and missing them. Normally I just want to relax and have a lay in so I am recharged for the week.
She's known me for a few years and knows how much I've struggled with fatigue and the general stress of having two little ones on my own.
The other thing is, there have been a couple of issues previously that I've let slide that made me question the relationship and whether she was a genuine friend or not, but they're not clear cut and she can be good fun so I wanted to see past it.
Anyway, when my children stay with their father, I always keep my phone on in case there's an issue. This morning, after having the conversation on Friday with her about having my night off and looking forward to a lay in, my phone pings at 6am. I instantly check it thinking it's the children and it's her! forwarding an article about something health related. Then it pings again, with a follow up message.
Would anyone here text at 6am on a Sunday something unimportant?

If you have an iPhone…

Settings -> focus -> do not disturb -> people -> allow calls from

Then you can add in the names of anyone you want to be able to call you when your phone is on DND

Did you not see that texts don't always come through at the time they are sent?

I’m a really early riser and that’s the sort of time I get round to catching up on messages. Have to stop myself sometimes!

I definitely wouldn't do this. It wouldn't bother me if someone done it to me as my phone goes on silent, but I'd never do it to anyone.

If it's WhatsApp or similar can you mute notifications from her?
You'll still see that there are messages there but your phone won't ping.
If you don't want her to see that you've read her messages you'll need to change the settings, but you won't be able to see if your outgoing messages have been read either. It could be a small sacrifice though. & if she happens asks about it, just say you don't want your ex to see when you're online.

This has really given me pause for thought. I stay up late often, get up early often, and suffer from insomnia in between. I regularly message my friends when I'm awake at odd hours, just to fill the time, and it's never occurred to me to think it might disturb them. 😱
I just think they'll see the message when they're awake/online.
Yikes. I wonder now if I've been really pissing them off. I shall check.
Thanks for the heads up!

✨ DND ✨

Maybe I'm in the minority here but it wouldn't even occur to me to not send a text at six am. Surely everyone has their phone on DND or at least silent.

YABSU.

What the hell is wrong with sending someone a message at 6am?! How is she meant to know that you don’t have your phone on silent? How did two pings wake you up from your lie in, anyway? I have so many questions and no answers!

I’ll send messages to my friend at any time of day. Yesterday I messaged my friend at 3am because I was awake. Like a normal person she responded at 7am once she was awake. I genuinely don’t see the issue in messaging your friend at 6am. It’s not as if she was calling your phone non stop for 1 hour.

Maybe I’m biased because my phone is on silent (not vibrate, not loud, not anything) when I’ve gone to sleep. So if someone tries to contact me first thing they wouldn’t be able too until I woke up anyway!

Right!

I thought the whole point of messages was that you could send them at any time and then people could just respond when they wanted, phones should be set appropriately so one is not disturbed by the messages. They are similar to emails that can be sent at anytime and answered when convenient.

Giving the benefit of the doubt here I don’t think this was deliberate, maybe just a little thoughtless perhaps given your recent conversation. Then again I too receive & respond to texts between 6 & 7 in the morning quite regularly/find this quite normal (as I like to have a peaceful cup of tea in bed before the day properly begins) …but only on weekdays mind! Weekends I’ll definitely be going 💤 with phone on ‘do not disturb’!!!

classify your children’s emergency numbers as ‘favourites’ in your contacts and then put your phone on ‘donot disturb’ except for your favorites.

She shouldn’t be sending a message at 6am. No thought or care to your sleep. She could have sent it later in the day.

You can set your phone to do not disturb but allow certain people (such as your kids' Dad) to call if there's an emergency.

I don't put my phone on silent, but I DO leave it in the living room when I go to bed. I'm a day sleeper, and have no intention of being wakened every time some politician wants money. Everyone I know knows this, and that I will get back to them when I get up for the evening. My kids have my neighbor's number for real emergencies. She's happy to come in and wake me (has key for emergencies). All of this to say, WHAT IS YOUR "FRIEND" THINKING??? Tell her not to text before a certain time, and be done with it.

As everyone has said dnd settings. I message and receive message at all times, combination of nightshifts and international friends. I view messages like emails, send when you want, reply when you want.

Check your phone settings… you can often do a ‘do not disturb’ that doesn’t apply to certain numbers

my MIL likes to spam me between 1-4am despite knowing I need all the sleep I can get with a toddler & having frequent migraines & working full time! So she’s now blocked (as is anyone else not on my ok list) between 10pm-7am

failing that…. Reply back in short sentences, at 2am

Email and text are exactly the same. Can be sent at any time and it's up to the receiver to manage their notifications. Different people gave different sleep and availability schedules. I use my do not disturb for when I'm in meetings, asleep, in the bath etc etc.

You need to set up your do not disturb functions!

If it wasn't a text it could be anything on your phone beeping at you while you are trying to sleep. That's why there's do not disturb!

Like some others here with babies have mentioned, I keep crazy hours - autistic teen who doesn’t go to bed and a baby plus lots of other kids…. I am so busy I often do not so any “phone admin” til…. Well, it’s 3.30 am now!! I also have a brother on a six hour time difference so I am used to lots of random hours messaging. Sometimes I check myself and wonder if the recipient is getting disturbed and immediately will send an apology text….. but I hope that others are sleeping with their phones at least on silent or maybe turned off -
or yes, filtered so my lowly message will not be an issue.

The good and bad side of mobile phones is that you are always available😀!

I usually have my phone on do not disturb but there are times when for work purposes it has to be on all night. It's really frustrating when I get the late/early text messages as they wake me up. I've put the worst offender into archives so I never receive notifications of their messages now.

I simply mute my mobile at night. You can unmute contacts you'd need to hear from in an emergency.

My phone is on do not disturb with a few exceptions so people can get me ICE. I often text at ridiculous times because that's when I remember. If I left it I'd forget. People pick it up whenever and often I wake up to messages.

I always assume people have their phone on silent and text at any time of day or night.
Maybe I'm wrong tho .....

Mine is on silent or DND most of the time and left downstairs overnight.