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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you would be happy if your husband dressed like this?

389 replies

KimberleyClark · 10/03/2023 11:46

www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/straight-dad-three-wears-skirts-26417991

My DH doesn’t have the legs, but at least this guy is not wearing lipstick and a wig, and dresses his top half like man. His wife helps him choose the clothes.

OP posts:
FartSock5000 · 10/03/2023 13:23

It isn't my place to tell my husband how he should look or feel. If he wants to wear a skirt and heels, he can. I will 100% support him and tell him his arse looks amazing in a denim mini.

He recently got a skin fade haircut as he loves the Peaky Blinders look. He thinks he looks amazing and as cool as Tommy Shelby but in reality he looks like Kim Jong the Korean Dictator fella. I have kept this to myself. It is NOT my job to tear him and his silly haircut down. It's my job to tell him he is a sexy beast and Arthur Shelby could never...

However, if I wasn't getting the same back then I would feel differently.

It's about balance, respect and understanding that how a person feels in their skin and presents to the world is only up to them and not me until such time their choices cause me harm and then i'd insist he remove the metal studded crotch high boots.

OneTC · 10/03/2023 13:23

Namechange1011111stairs · 10/03/2023 13:10

Why?
Not being goady. I'm trying to understand why a man wearing a skirt = fetishism bit a woman wearing men's short is ok.

Show quote history

The other things you described are practical solutions so not really comparable to choosing to wear stilettos.

ImAGoodPerson · 10/03/2023 13:24

I'm not keen on how he looks personally, I think if I met someone that dressed like that from day 1 then perhaps I'd not mind but not if DH suddenly started dressing like that. It's an odd look in my opinion, kind of half masculine and half feminine. People can dress how they like though.

Hankunamatata · 10/03/2023 13:25

He wouldn't be attractive to me with wearing a skirt but each to their own.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 10/03/2023 13:25

all of his skirt choices are really dated circa 1990.

Grin It's true. I thought I would be wearing skirts like this when I was a grown up.

Okaaaay · 10/03/2023 13:26

I think I would find it hard to adjust to (from a social pressure and reaction perspective) but would hopefully adjust and challenge my own ingrained bias around clothes.

But those legs are insane. He looks fantastic!

overthinking23 · 10/03/2023 13:26

Good on him for wearing what he wants and breaking the norm. He looks great!! If my husband wanted to dress this way it would be a surprise for sure but I'd stand by him!

neverendinglauaundry · 10/03/2023 13:27

I'm pretty meh about what anyone wears really.
It's a striking look on that guy, but if I'm totally honest I'd find it really hard not to piss myself laughing if my husband was dressing like that.

OrlandointheWilderness · 10/03/2023 13:27

No I wouldn't be happy. I think quite frankly it looks bloody daft.

zen1 · 10/03/2023 13:28

I’m wondering what motivated him to choose that particular style of shoe to accompany his short skirts.

Seasonofthewitch83 · 10/03/2023 13:29

zen1 · 10/03/2023 13:28

I’m wondering what motivated him to choose that particular style of shoe to accompany his short skirts.

Because....he likes them? His legs look incredible!

JenniferBarkley · 10/03/2023 13:30

Wouldn't love it if my DH dressed like that. Couldn't care less if someone else's does.

FilthyforFirth · 10/03/2023 13:31

It's not for me personally but I have no problem with it. I wouldnt like my DH to do it though. The heels look incredibly undcomfortable.

WiddlinDiddlin · 10/03/2023 13:32

Mmm..

Have to admit my first reaction is 'eh.. no'...

However on examining that reaction further, I think if I saw a woman of a similar height and build in those outfits, my reaction would be exactly the same!

Not a look I like, but then not my body, not my husband so therefore, not really any of my business is it?

I do have to question the thought that this must be a fetish - if very high heels make him feel good, confident, powerful etc etc.. and thats why he likes them, then what about women who wear such heels for exactly the same reasons?

How is it a fetish acted out in the workplace for him, but it wouldn't be for a woman?
I can think of plenty of women that wear painfully high heels (and lets be honest, anything other than a flat shoe is wholly unnecessary!), sharp trouser suits etc to work because it makes them feel more confident, makes them taller, makes their legs look nicer etc...

Choconut · 10/03/2023 13:32

Why is it always tight, short skirts and ultra high heels? It's not going to be more comfortable, it's not going to be more practical so what's it all about? I can't help but side with those saying it's a sexual fetish and it's all for attention.

DH often gets things in women's sizes or from the women's range as he's quite short but there's no way I could take him seriously in that get up. In a sarong, a kilt, a long tunic/thobe type thing, sandals, whatever is fine - a short, tight skirt and high heels, no thanks. Mind you I like men with hair on their legs and that would really jar!

diddl · 10/03/2023 13:32

kittyk66 · 10/03/2023 12:26

I wonder if he manspreads on the train....

I think that his skirts are probably too tight.

Peachy2005 · 10/03/2023 13:33

The heels are unreasonable- why would anyone?!

waterlego · 10/03/2023 13:34

I’m conflicted because I genuinely do believe clothes should be genderless. However, a man in heels and pencil skirt screams ‘fetish’ to me. Nothing wrong with having that fetish in itself, but bringing it into the workplace is another matter. Glad he’s not claiming to be a woman at least.

WiddlinDiddlin · 10/03/2023 13:38

www.next.co.uk/style/ls284654/k25027#k25027

So womens wear should be practical - tell me how practical this is? I don't think this is remotely practical but this is in Nexts 'work wear' skirts section (and is not the shortest skirt by a LONG way)...

This is exactly the sort of stuff he's wearing, but its only fetish if he wears it? If a woman wears it, when she could just as easily wear loose trousers, flat shoes etc etc, thats fine, thats not for attention, to project a confident image, to make her feel more assertive?

Vohgue · 10/03/2023 13:40

I would find it a massive turn off if my husband wore any of these outfits. I am super picky when it comes to clothes though, for myself and him (I wouldn't wear any of that shit either, so dated). Also I just find him hot when he looks a certain (masculine) way maybe because I'm conditioned to or I just like a certain manly man IDK. I mean... I love a dude in a suit. I feel strongly unattracted to anyone in a trade uniform. Each to their own.

Takethatandparty30 · 10/03/2023 13:40

Anyone else? I don't care

My husband? Fuck no 😂

MargaritMargo · 10/03/2023 13:41

some clothes are genderless. Skirts and stilettos are not genderless though are they. It’s a skirt and heels. It’s female clothing.

Just say “I enjoy wearing female clothing”

picklemewalnuts · 10/03/2023 13:41

@KimberleyClark those clothes aren't attention seeking and provocative on a woman though. Sexualised, maybe, but not provocative.

On him, they absolutely are in the way that shorts on a woman are not.

It's more like a woman wearing extremely skimpy lederhosen and a bustier.

Timeforchangeithink · 10/03/2023 13:42

No he looks like a twat.

Echobelly · 10/03/2023 13:43

If it suited him, yes - I think this guy wears it well and I'd like to see more men 'mixing it up' a bit and taking the away this idea that men doing or wearing things associated with women is somehow shameful.

Reminds me of a bloke I heard about in US who goes to work often in skirt suits just because he likes them - and in his photos he looks smart and professional.