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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sitting in a reserved seat on a train

174 replies

SummaLuvin · 09/03/2023 20:59

AIBU to think there is nothing wrong with sitting in a reserved seat on a train providing you move quickly and without fuss if the booker comes along?

I always look for an unreserved seat, but if there isn’t one I take my chances. Frequently the person who reserved it never shows up - whether they miss the train, can’t get to the seat as it’s so busy, or can’t be bothered to find their seat as it’s quiet… If no-one ever sat in these reserved seats then on busy trains the aisles and areas between carriages would be even more crowded, so I see it as more of an issue for them to be left vacant. But some people seem to think it’s a faux pas to ever sit in a seat that is reserved. What’s the general consensus?

OP posts:
ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 10/03/2023 11:26

Threads like these always attract lots of "What if?" scenarios

Yep. You really don't have to leave a seat free just in case somebody who later gets on has a condition that means they can't ask you to move.

WeWereInParis · 10/03/2023 11:33

ZoeyBartlett · 09/03/2023 22:47

Fine I think. When I travel for work my return is open BUT the system makes you pick a train and gives a reservation even though highly unlikely it's going to be used. I always assume many other seats are similarly auto reserved.

That's how my work tickets work. I pretty much never get the return train that has a seat booked for me, but there's no way to book the tickets in our work system without it also reserving a seat.

JackieDaws · 10/03/2023 11:34

Yes, just sit where you like and fuck the person who's reserved that seat. After all, you're a YT middle class person who doesn't think the rules should apply to them but by God they should apply to everyone else.

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 10/03/2023 11:38

JackieDaws · 10/03/2023 11:34

Yes, just sit where you like and fuck the person who's reserved that seat. After all, you're a YT middle class person who doesn't think the rules should apply to them but by God they should apply to everyone else.

Dear lord Confused

Annasass · 10/03/2023 11:41

That’s why I’d never reserve a seat as there’s been so many incidents where it’s caused trouble as people won’t move. Plus you have to go to the trouble of finding that seat. Last time I took a train a man got on & told a woman she was in his seat, she ignored him completely. He kept at it until another woman told him that the woman had a disability. He wandered off then & found himself another seat.

Roundandnour · 10/03/2023 11:41

moonpixel · 10/03/2023 09:49

None of these things are deemed as an excuse by others though. I haven't disclosed why I cannot ask for a seat and I don't intend to but it has been minimised as a choice and someone had the audacity to assume a 'non-physical' reason with a strong undertone of unless it's a physical disability it doesn't count. Saddening.

Show quote history

It really is saddening.
He’s trying to be as independent as he possibly can, but attitudes prevent him from living a “normal” life like his peers.

You cannot tell by looking at someone if they are going to be aggressive or not.

SinnerBoy · 10/03/2023 11:41

PyongyangKipperbang · Yesterday 22:44

Happened to me today actually!

Oh, excellent! I hope you had a bloody good gloat at them having to pay full price!

And at least the conductor helped you, I've had two occasions where they refused, as the people were aggressive.

moonpixel · 10/03/2023 11:45

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 10/03/2023 11:26

Threads like these always attract lots of "What if?" scenarios

Yep. You really don't have to leave a seat free just in case somebody who later gets on has a condition that means they can't ask you to move.

Nobody has suggested that. Simply be aware and when you are at the station the seat is booked from take enough responsibility to look around at someone who is approaching the seat

WeWereInParis · 10/03/2023 11:47

I was on a busy train into London in the morning a couple of weeks ago and there was a tannoy announcement telling people there were free seats in X carriage and could some of the many people squashed into the vestibules further up the train please make their way down the train to the seats. I was sitting in a seat in that carriage and half the empty seats were reserved. But the train staff were telling people to sit there.

evemillbank · 10/03/2023 11:49

@Verylongtime the op said she has to pay more to be able to reserve a seat.

Yellowdays · 10/03/2023 11:51

Definitely it's ok to sit in a reserved seat until the booker comes. I used to travel a great deal on trains and often the seats have been booked by companies for staff who get on a different train (open returns) or who sit somewhere else. People very often aren't good at looking for their reserved seat unless they need to.

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 10/03/2023 11:59

moonpixel · 10/03/2023 11:45

Nobody has suggested that. Simply be aware and when you are at the station the seat is booked from take enough responsibility to look around at someone who is approaching the seat

Show quote history

Yes, they have suggested that. And the OP said from her first move she would move as soon as the reserver came.

moonpixel · 10/03/2023 12:01

Yes, they have suggested that. And the OP said from her first move she would move as soon as the reserver came.

The discussion moved to a point where many people suggest that the reserver should ask. I don't see anyone saying a seat should be left free before the station it is reserved from.

Original poster
SummaLuvin · 10/03/2023 12:03

evemillbank · 10/03/2023 11:49

@Verylongtime the op said she has to pay more to be able to reserve a seat.

yes on my commuter journeys where two single tickets a day is vastly more expensive than a monthly season ticket - I think anyone who commutes can confirm this!

on my leisure journeys I typically book open returns (or used to as they are being axed?) which let you book a seat on your outgoing travel for no extra price. I have my best guess at what time I will be traveling, but 25% of the time things change and while I do travel the same day on the ticket it's not on the train with my reservation which I think is pretty common and why so many reserved seats remain vacant.

OP posts:
Original poster
SummaLuvin · 10/03/2023 12:08

moonpixel · 10/03/2023 12:01

Yes, they have suggested that. And the OP said from her first move she would move as soon as the reserver came.

The discussion moved to a point where many people suggest that the reserver should ask. I don't see anyone saying a seat should be left free before the station it is reserved from.

people are saying that, see posts by Conkersinautumn, Roundandnour, TheGenerousGardener, Wheelz46

OP posts:
Seasonofthewitch83 · 10/03/2023 12:11

I think as long as you are quick to move, its ok. I took a train with DD2 and DH and there were people at our reserved seats with what looks like half of M and S spread over the table. They took fucking ages to pack up while we stook there with a squirming toddler and out own bags of shit blocking the aisle while they fannied about with some mild grumbles. The reservation said which city teh seats were reserved from, they should have been ready to move.

SinnerBoy · 10/03/2023 12:16

Seasonofthewitch83 · Today 12:11

I think as long as you are quick to move, its ok.

Yes, that of course. Mind you, there are some cheeky swine about. Someone told me it was his seat, I moved across the aisle and a minute later, the real "owner" turned up! I suppose Mr. Cheeky saw the reserved sign and decided to try it on.

journeyofsanity · 10/03/2023 14:25

BeetleyCarapace · 10/03/2023 08:41

It’s minor dickhead behaviour in my book. Not a dreadful thing, but not decent citizen-ing either.

I agree with pp that the train companies (or rolling stock manufacturers) need to improve booking systems and reservation displays though.

I think booking seats and not turning up is more dickish behaviour tbh

GoodChat · 10/03/2023 14:26

I think booking seats and not turning up is more dickish behaviour tbh

Why? I've booked train tickets for meetings that have been cancelled or moved that are non-refundable. The train provider still gets their money for the seat whether someone else uses it or not. If anything, that situation does everyone a favour.

Scunnered123 · 10/03/2023 15:07

@Seasonofthewitch83 absolutely agree. It's happened to us a few times and we ended up causing a huge blockage in the aisle as we waited patiently for people to very slowly pack up and move.

BlueHeelers · 10/03/2023 15:52

It's happened to us a few times and we ended up causing a huge blockage in the aisle as we waited patiently for people to very slowly pack up and move.

Oh yes! That's the worst thing about idiots taking a chance and sitting in set as marked as Booked or Reserved.

Most trains nowadays have an electronic sign above them saying whether or not they're available & from which station/s they're booked. The number of people who suddenly go blind when entering a train carriage astounds me "Oh I didn't see that! " or "Are you sure this is reserved?"

The time to take a seat which is marked as reserved is a couple of minutes AFTER we have pulled away from that particular railway station & no passenger has claimed their reservation. It is cheeky as fuck, and really inconsiderate of every other passenger to just plonk yourself down in any old seat without checking whether it's free.

NumberTheory · 10/03/2023 16:02

GoodChat · 10/03/2023 05:37

@NumberTheory she's told you she cannot ask. She doesn't need to tell you why and you shouldn't just assume it's because she gets a bit nervous. Don't be so dismissive.

She doesn’t need to tell us, no. But if someone doesn’t explain, on an anonymous forum how they are able to travel alone unassisted but be completely unable to communicate they are going to find people dismiss them quite a lot.

GoodChat · 10/03/2023 16:13

@NumberTheory that says a lot more about you than her

moonpixel · 10/03/2023 16:19

@NumberTheory

But if someone doesn’t explain, on an anonymous forum how they are able to travel alone unassisted but be completely unable to communicate they are going to find people dismiss them quite a lot.

I'm not sure I said 'completely unable to communicate', did I?

Nope.

Your making crap up to try and justify the requests for me to disclose something completely irrelevant. In the context of the thread I have said I cannot ask someone to move, that should be believed not challenged.

Fuck me being disabled is hard enough without the dickish requests to explain why I can't do something. Just take it at face value? It adds no great meaning to your life to question someone over something clearly so fucking difficult for them.

moonpixel · 10/03/2023 16:20

There are many reasons why someone may not be able to ask this of a stranger on the train. I'm not about to start a bloody check list so you can all decide whether or not my reason stands.

Take a long look at yourself