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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

… to be so SMUG

136 replies

LittleBrownJug · 09/03/2023 18:55

… I’ve told my partner where to stick it, explained to my 4 year old what mummy’s boundaries are, & stormed off out to a wine bar that is handily around the corner from my house. And I am VERY pleased with my decision.

Can’t recommend this enough to be honest.

OP posts:

pinkbaglady · 09/03/2023 18:56

Gonna need more context

Dotcheck · 09/03/2023 18:57

Huh?

Teeheeeheee · 09/03/2023 18:58

OK...

TuneInThisTimeNextWeek · 09/03/2023 18:59

What has said partner been told to stick where?

rothbury · 09/03/2023 18:59

Is the 4 year old safe?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 09/03/2023 18:59

More info required.

NewHopeNow · 09/03/2023 19:00

Was that an entirely suitable conversation for a 4 year old?

Thisisthedawningoftheageofaquarius · 09/03/2023 19:00

Lol enjoy the wine - jealous 😂

Singularity82 · 09/03/2023 19:01

Not great that your 4 year old is witnessing such hostility to be honest. Obviously it’s difficult to give a balanced opinion without context, but I hope if this is a final straw moment that you’re making plans to leave the situation so your kid grows up in a more harmonious environment.

Mangomingo · 09/03/2023 19:02

I’d say you’re probably feeling more righteous than smug.
Do they do a little board with artisanal meats and cheese? If so order one.

Original poster

LittleBrownJug · 09/03/2023 19:05

Ah I see. Context. Well I’m just generally sick of everything. This is a temporary solution to the ongoing issue of structual
women’s inequality. He’s a lazy arse & the breakfast dishes (hardening porridge) are still on the table from this morning. He made breakfast and took daughter to school as I had been up sick all night. You want no drip feeds I’ll mention now I’ve got stage IV cancer. Currently on treatment and well enough to come to a wine bar obviously. But not exactly in glowing health or energy. I work from home and worked all afternoon today and picked up DD from school sorted her out and continued to work to a deadline. He complained earlier there was no intimacy in our relationship . Haha. Aghh. The kitchen is piled high with dirty dishes, there’s a huge mess of crumbs and snacks and toys all over the sofa DD is refusing to clear up ( fair enough, she’s 4) & I just snapped. I think he was expecting a magical fairy to come along and make dinner for us all and then put DD to bed?

But I told him I was sick to death of this shit and came here.

OP posts:

Original poster

LittleBrownJug · 09/03/2023 19:07

4 year old did not hear or witness any of this and is safe.

I told her Daddy would be making dinner and that I would be back to read her a bedtime story.

I told Daddy what to make her for dinner just in case he got his arse mixed up with his elbow.

OP posts:

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 09/03/2023 19:08

YANBU. And I was, I promise, about to plump for that before your context update, purely on the balance of probability.

So many women get told to grow a spine on MN when they post about the domestic imbalance and the mental load, and yet when one does, the default assumption seems to be that she's probably in the wrong. Mystifying.

Teeheeeheee · 09/03/2023 19:08

You have stage 4 cancer and still pulling some weight in the relationship, yet he has the gall to complain about anything?

Chuck him in the bin!

Original poster

LittleBrownJug · 09/03/2023 19:09

@Mangomingo its Portuguese there are little fish pate pots and toasts and pickles.

It’s much better than the plain star pasta I was gonna be making at home.

OP posts:

FourBoysAndAFeline · 09/03/2023 19:09

Are you receiving PIP due to your diagnoses?

And YANBU!

arethereanyleftatall · 09/03/2023 19:10

Good for you

Starseeed · 09/03/2023 19:11

Good for you. Enjoy your wine! Did you know there’s theories suppressed anger is linked to cancer? All the best with your treatment and recovery, and express your anger all you like - it’s healthy!

FourBoysAndAFeline · 09/03/2023 19:12

Starseeed · 09/03/2023 19:11

It's stage 4, but I suppose it's the sentiment that counts. 😩

SoCunningYouCanStickATailOnItAndCallItAFox · 09/03/2023 19:13

Crikey. Hope he wakes up and smells the coffee that sounds bloody hard work - having to explain to a man-child you have to see him wash the dishes before you can feel sexy! 🙄🙄

Original poster

LittleBrownJug · 09/03/2023 19:14

Yes PIP @FourBoysAndAFeline thank you for checking! I can only work part time so it’s very helpful.

@LemonJuiceFromConcentrate Thoroughly agree. I walked out because I’d had enough. And I feel bloody great about it. Just a nice breather before I gather my energy to throw myself back in. But obviously the first replies are all …. Well ya know …

OP posts:

harriethoyle · 09/03/2023 19:17

@LittleBrownJug if it's Portuguese eat your body weight in tiny custard tarts and wash them down with white port 🍷

shouldhavetakenmorenotice · 09/03/2023 19:19

rothbury · 09/03/2023 18:59

Is the 4 year old safe?

Original poster

LittleBrownJug · 09/03/2023 19:23

It’s my faulty BRCA2 gene that’s linked to my cancer, but I do genuinely appreciate the kind thoughts @Starseeed though.

Although for future reference stage IV means “I’m gonna die” & people with stage IV know this, and no amount of woo can change that — although smashing plates and being a generally angry post-menopausal bitch is great in and of itself.

OP posts:

OriginalUsername2 · 09/03/2023 19:25

Good for you!!

He should be treating you like a queen not giving you stress 😡

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