Page 5 | … to be so SMUG

LittleBrownJug · 2023-03-09T18:55:50+00:00

… I’ve told my partner where to stick it, explained to my 4 year old what mummy’s boundaries are, & stormed off out to a wine bar that is handily around the corner from my house. And I am VERY pleased with my decision. Can’t recommend this enough to be honest.

BlackeyedSusan · 09/03/2023 21:32

userxx · 09/03/2023 19:29

@LittleBrownJug Don't forget letting her play with matches, such fun for the little ones. I'm sure you'll agree.

I hope she whittled her own matches... with a really sharp knife.

sorry your dp is an arse.

enjoy your wine.

EmmaEmerald · 09/03/2023 21:33

Starseeed · 09/03/2023 19:11

Good for you. Enjoy your wine! Did you know there’s theories suppressed anger is linked to cancer? All the best with your treatment and recovery, and express your anger all you like - it’s healthy!

WTAF did I just read 🤦🏽‍♀️

OP enjoy your wine. Sounds like the snacks are interesting too.

Logicoutofthewindow · 09/03/2023 21:35

Wow 🌺tell him to sort his act out. Hope things work out for you

Jux · 09/03/2023 21:36

userxx · 09/03/2023 19:29

@LittleBrownJug Don't forget letting her play with matches, such fun for the little ones. I'm sure you'll agree.

An excellent means to keep herself warm in this cold weather too. Also a good flare will warn motorists she's there. Hope you gave her more than the apocryphal 3....

My3dahliasarebloominlovely · 09/03/2023 21:36

@LittleBrownJug I raise my glass to you. Enjoy your evening

Fundays12 · 09/03/2023 21:45

OP I am with you on unfair equality division. DH moaned at me a while back about the lack of intimacy in our relationship but would barely lift a finger as he "works".

I work too but nowhere near as many hours. We also have 3 kids one with complex additional support needs whom needs a mum at home most of the time due to these needs. Anyway he really didn't get my thoughts around this till he got the same awful sickness bug I got and I pointed out to him while he lay I'll in bed that when I felt that awful he is told his mate he could go out earlier as the wife was now home (too sick to go to work), left me with all the housework while telling me to "take it easy" and all while I was too sick to go to work. I literally could barely move, couldn't eat, could hardly stand as I was so sick.

He looke stunned when I pointed out that was the state he left me in to care for everyone else and had he been a proper supportive partner to me our intimacy would be better. It helped as he realised I was right. Things improved massively since then.

MissHavishamsMouldyOldCake · 09/03/2023 21:46

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 09/03/2023 19:08

YANBU. And I was, I promise, about to plump for that before your context update, purely on the balance of probability.

So many women get told to grow a spine on MN when they post about the domestic imbalance and the mental load, and yet when one does, the default assumption seems to be that she's probably in the wrong. Mystifying.

Good observation and I agree with you.

TeaGinandFags · 09/03/2023 21:53

LTB! Change the locks and call your mam. Or a good friend. Call McMillan who can help with legal advice and respite care. And sort out a will that looks after your dd when you can't.

Purplepeoniesdroppingpetals · 09/03/2023 21:56

Have at least one more glass, op

Original poster

LittleBrownJug · 09/03/2023 21:58

Yep yep DD has plenty of sharp knives & nice warm matches to play with, and by the loud honking of horns I can tell the drivers are really enjoying them too! Sweet!

thanks for all your good wishes, those of you who actually had them & didn’t post woo shit about how you get or cure cancer (thank you @Madeintowerhamlets I was far too nice, which is rare for me about such fuckery but I guess I was just so surprised & delighted to be sitting in a nice wine bar & not in my house) … or said any other batshit stuff, but hey, it’s AIBU, I get it.

Oh I SO wish there was a boutique hotel with a pillow menu within stomping reach @SatInMySpottyOnesie I might do that next time … I was sat in that lovely wine bar a slightly stained tracksuit … but I did stop and put some lippy on, and my hair is at that growing out stage where it could either look ‘arty’ or ‘deranged’ … either is fine, frankly, the staff are very nice.

I had 2 delicious glasses of wine & some tiny pots of fishy things and tiny toasts that gave me deep joy. Then I came home & DD was DELIGHTED to see me, and me her, and we read two stories together & made plans for tomorrow. When DP is at work.

The kitchen was cleanish. He’s sulking. I’ll be doing this on the regular. It was fucking liberating.

OP posts:

Thedogscollar · 09/03/2023 22:02

LittleBrownJug · 09/03/2023 21:58

Yep yep DD has plenty of sharp knives & nice warm matches to play with, and by the loud honking of horns I can tell the drivers are really enjoying them too! Sweet!

thanks for all your good wishes, those of you who actually had them & didn’t post woo shit about how you get or cure cancer (thank you @Madeintowerhamlets I was far too nice, which is rare for me about such fuckery but I guess I was just so surprised & delighted to be sitting in a nice wine bar & not in my house) … or said any other batshit stuff, but hey, it’s AIBU, I get it.

Oh I SO wish there was a boutique hotel with a pillow menu within stomping reach @SatInMySpottyOnesie I might do that next time … I was sat in that lovely wine bar a slightly stained tracksuit … but I did stop and put some lippy on, and my hair is at that growing out stage where it could either look ‘arty’ or ‘deranged’ … either is fine, frankly, the staff are very nice.

I had 2 delicious glasses of wine & some tiny pots of fishy things and tiny toasts that gave me deep joy. Then I came home & DD was DELIGHTED to see me, and me her, and we read two stories together & made plans for tomorrow. When DP is at work.

The kitchen was cleanish. He’s sulking. I’ll be doing this on the regular. It was fucking liberating.

Bloody brilliant OP.
Keep up the good work. Xx

Letsgoforaskip · 09/03/2023 22:06

@LittleBrownJug I just have to say that you have a great way with words and I love your style! 💃🏼🥂

marchella · 09/03/2023 22:08

You are awesome OP!

Thepeopleversuswork · 09/03/2023 22:11

Zola1 · 09/03/2023 20:17

Yesss you fucking queen, you deserve that wine. Eat the Portuguese tarts.
I cannot believe you are battling stage 4 cancer, working part time, raising a little one, and he has the brass neck to say anything other than 'I've already done the housework and made the tea'.

What she said

SheilaWilcox · 09/03/2023 22:12

DappledThings · 09/03/2023 20:44

She was cheerily told that Daddy was cooking her tea and Mummy would be back later. What do you imagine a 4 year old would find frightening about that?

Show quote history

Maybe he's a frighteningly bad cook...

Glad you made it out OP. Think you need to become a wine bar regular.

FunnysInLaJardin · 09/03/2023 22:19

oh well done @LittleBrownJug I totally applaud you! You are ace!

Littlefaeries · 09/03/2023 22:19

@SheilaWilcox
Maybe he's a frighteningly bad cook...

I read cook as cock.😂

Good wine bars are fab.
Especially when they do nice nibbles too.

Hope the rest of your evening goes well OP.

Madeintowerhamlets · 09/03/2023 22:24

@StalkedByASpider thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment- it made me feel quite emotional. I’m glad that your friend also called someone out on FB! I was reflecting on how those types of comments make me feel so angry & then thought how ironic it was. At least I’m getting my rage out- ha!
@LittleBrownJug you sound awesome and I’m so glad you reclaimed some time for yourself. Stage 4 can be a scary, lonely & vulnerable place. I don’t think people realise how crap it feels to be the recipient of some of this ‘advice.’ I hope you continue to make decisions that liberate you. I definitely feel like I give less of a crap these days!

EnjoythemoneyJane · 09/03/2023 22:43

‘Cleanish’ and now he’s sulking?! The blinding gall of him!

I’d ring now and tell them you’ll be needing a nightly seat at the bar for the foreseeable. The very least you deserve is a bit of headspace, wine and some little pots of nice stuff.

Hope he comes to his senses soon and starts acting like an actual grown up. And that some of the staggeringly inappropriate, condescending and offensive posters on this thread come to their senses and tell themselves to fuck off.

Clarinet1 · 09/03/2023 22:44

OP, you must do just what you feel like when you feel like it and nurture and spoil Dd whenever you can. It sounds as though your DP has been totally insensitive - do you think he may be in denial about what the future holds? However I wish you joy in whatever way you can get it in every moment.

Angebot · 09/03/2023 22:46

Do it more often then..

whatsupluckyducky · 09/03/2023 22:48

Good for you. Entirely reasonable. I’ve done this a couple of times too. Enjoy your wine , you deserve it. Hope things get easier for you xx

Eas1lyd1stracted · 09/03/2023 23:18

OP you have made my night with your smug plans and your wicked sense of humour after the second glass. Hope he's sulking in the spare room. Your daughter sounds like she thought it was fabulous!

AlmostaMamma · 09/03/2023 23:26

Teeheeeheee · 09/03/2023 18:58

OK...

😂

AnImaginaryCat · 09/03/2023 23:40

I am glad you updated us that the 4 year old is safe. It was so obvious from your first post that you'd given her a bottle of vodka and a switch blade, and left her with a pack of rabid dingos. I was trembling with fear - who could have guessed she was at home with her dad?