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Original poster

Not sure how or if to put this right

525 replies

Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 16:13

A bit of a long one here, and changed n as me so it can’t be linked back to my other posts…
Behind the housing estate where I live is a lovely big field known as the football field, all the local kids head there at the weekend for a kick about and play. It is a proper field though- not a rec or anything.

Anyway me and my boys were there a few weekends ago and there was a woman walking her dog off lead. It stopped for a shit and she carried on walking and didn’t pick it up. I shouted over and told her to pick it up, and she just carried on walking. I headed over and cut her off and told her to go and pick up her dogs mess. She told me she’d go back for it later and to mind my own business and went to walk off. I did at this point block her way (probably a mistake in retrospect) and told her kids were playing and it was disgusting. She replied that it wouldn’t be a problem if my kids stayed on the footpath and it was her field. Anyway I made her pick it up and thought that was the end of it.

anyway we went to go over there at the weekend and there is now electric fence up either side of the path, all properly signed and everything, and I’ve heard on the grapevine my neighbours are furious that the kids can’t play there anymore. Apparently a few have spoken with the lady (she does actually own it-what are the chances?) and she is saying that she felt frightened and intimidated by someone, and now doesn’t want the kids using it any more and is going to move some of her sheep in there once it’s had a ‘rest’ I think this is just an excuse to justify the fence.

she hasn’t mentioned me, but I am worried if it gets out it was me my neighbours will be really angry. Should I find her and apologise? Apparently she just heads round the field once a day with a scooper to tidy it, all my neighbours seem to think she is gods gift even doing this. Was I in the wrong? I really think I have dropped a clanger here, what should I do?

OP posts:
GoodChat · 09/03/2023 21:09

Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 19:39

Sorry I think my messages are getting misconstrued here. I don’t mean she’s awful I just want things right again, it was such a nice space and I’m sorry to have lost it. when I was speaking to my neighbour about it being a shame it was now blocked off he said it was a shame because she’d always gone to such an effort to keep it nice, I genuinely didn’t know who she was if I’d know I wouldn’t have said anything!!!

You don't just "want things right again". You just want your kids to have access to the land of a middle aged woman you bullied, so that nobody finds out you're the problem. This is all self-preservation.

BadNomad · 09/03/2023 21:12

If the lady genuinely felt threatened and intimidated by the OP, it is really not a good idea for her to then send something or turn up at the lady's house. That is very intrusive. It says "I know where you live". I think just leave it alone now. What's done is done. Stay away from the lady.

BubziOwl · 09/03/2023 21:16

IhearyouClemFandango · 09/03/2023 17:57

And as it turns out, she does go around and pick up in her own field. 🤷 Just not to the OP's timetable.

You'd never guess the local landowners and farmers around here, did you expect them all to be Fairfax & Favour and Barbours?

No self respecting landowner would be seen in Fairfax & Favour, surely Grin

I am confused as to what OP thinks a landowner should look like - IME 60 year olds ambling round with their dog are very much the typical landowner!

Therealjudgejudy · 09/03/2023 21:26

Wow..you sound so entitled. And a bully aswell

blackbeardsballsack · 09/03/2023 21:28

If someone approached me on my land and physically blocked me and shouted at me, I would knock them out.

LumpyandBumps · 09/03/2023 21:34

I am struggling to understand how 17% have voted that OP is reasonable in haranguing the woman, and showing no remorse.

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 09/03/2023 21:39

Apparently she just heads round the field once a day with a scooper to tidy it, all my neighbours seem to think she is gods gift even doing this.

& so she is - not many landowners allow neighbours to use their field as a leisure space.

She even told you it was her field, but you chose not to believe her. Maybe that's a fact you could have established before awarding your family carte blanche to play there.

Annasass · 09/03/2023 21:47

You made her clean it up, now she’s made you get off her land. You’ll be run out of town if everyone finds out.

TaunterOfWomenInGeneralSaysSayonarastu · 09/03/2023 21:48

Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 17:15

I didn’t think she owned it because she didn’t look like a farmer or land owner. How many women in their 60s ambling around with a dog are actually farmers???

I know the farmhouse now and take her a bottle of wine and some flowers and see if I can smooth things over.

theres no where else within walking distance the kids can play football, it’s all woods, or fields of cow or sheep or ploughed so we really need to get it back. I never thought I’d miss the suburbs with a good rec!!

With over 90,000 farmers in the UK, approx 17% of them women, thousands.

What do you think farmers & landowners look like?

SophiaLaB · 09/03/2023 21:48

Please just leave the poor woman alone. You were totally in the wrong and I’m saying this as a landowner who frequently can be seen in my fields with my dogs. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to wear but usually seen in jeans, sometimes in shorts or skirts and infrequently, in times of urgency, in PJ bottoms and boots. You could stand on your head I wouldn’t be taking the fence back down. You sound rude and entitled. It doesn’t take a lot of planning to stick an electric fence up as you seem to think it does, it’s not spiteful of her she just doesn’t want people like you on her land.

chevvyroo · 09/03/2023 22:28

Seems like you were delighted to take this older woman to task while you felt you had the moral high ground AND judged her to be a suitable target.

Now you're scared and sorry for yourself that the other residents will be angry at you.

cansu · 09/03/2023 22:48

You were aggressive. Shouting over to her, standing in front and blocking her way is ridiculous. You clearly need to calm down and stop being so confrontational. I think you got what you deserve here. Lesson learned perhaps?

Enthrallingstoryofstillness · 09/03/2023 22:55

You sound more and more unpleasant with each post OP.

Fgs don't go around to her house, just leave the poor woman alone and perhaps think on a bit about your awful behavior and belligerent attitude going forward.

SeulementUneFois · 09/03/2023 23:30

You sound really unpleasant OP.
You behaved like a bully and you have no remorse over that, you just feel entitled to use someone else's (that you bullied) property.

GayforMoleman · 09/03/2023 23:39

You fucked it up for everyone by acting like Billy Big Bollocks. This is on you, so you're better off owning it before you're exposed.

ladydimitrescu · 10/03/2023 00:14

You only regret your behaviour because you're worried people will find out it was you. Blocking her way and intimidating her was absolutely disgusting, and I don't think you realise how shaken she must have been. You're lucky you didn't have your arse handed to you. Stop throwing your weight around, one day you'll pick on the wrong person.

Myfluffyblanket · 10/03/2023 00:16

From the way you express yourself in describing this incident I think you are a man .
If so , it would explain even more why this kind , generous , tidy , public-spirited , recently bereaved woman has responded to your hostile , belligerent , hectoring , bullying actions the way she has .
Whether you are a woman or a man you should be ashamed of yourself .

SirVixofVixHall · 10/03/2023 00:59

Mamamia7962 · 09/03/2023 18:17

So I take it the majority of people on here would be quite happy for their children to play on a field where the owner lets their dog shit on it and doesn't clear it up. Mumsnet is very strange at times.

Foxes, badgers, sheep etc all poo all over fields, all the time.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 10/03/2023 01:02

MamaCanYouBuyMeABanana · 09/03/2023 16:29

You intimidated a woman on her private field that she kindly allowed others to play on?

You fucked up, and you sound like a bully.

Lesson learned, hope your neighbours don't find out it was you.

Yeah, this.

Maybe in future don't be such a busybody.

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 10/03/2023 01:06

12345onceicaughtafishalive678910 · 09/03/2023 17:18

Moral of the story: her dog shit has more right to be in that field than random kids.

Learn your lesson and learn to keep your mouth shut!

Exactly.

And don't pester her with wine and notes. Back the fuck away from her private property, full stop.

The gall!!!

fairycards · 10/03/2023 01:25

Anyway me and my boys were there a few weekends ago and there was a woman walking her dog off lead. It stopped for a shit and she carried on walking and didn’t pick it up. I shouted over and told her to pick it up, and she just carried on walking. I headed over and cut her off and told her to go and pick up her dogs mess. She told me she’d go back for it later and to mind my own business and went to walk off. I did at this point block her way (probably a mistake in retrospect) and told her kids were playing and it was disgusting. She replied that it wouldn’t be a problem if my kids stayed on the footpath and it was her field. Anyway I made her pick it up and thought that was the end of it.

She told you it was her field, and she'd be back for it later... Still you made her pick it up. And now she has erected fencing around her field. Seems fair to me.

MysteryBelle · 10/03/2023 01:33

Were you in the wrong…oh my. You need to ask that? Your arrogance is astounding. You told a woman what to do with her own field, a field she allowed your children to play in, you blocked her way, you harassed her, you intimidated her, even after you were told (you were way over the top even if it hadn’t been the owner) and your boorish behavior was much worse than her supposed crime. You actually told her to pick it up because of children playing there. When it was the woman herself who allowed the children to play there. She sounds a gentle soul who who tried to get away from you as quietly and unobtrusively as she could. On her own field. Which you acted as if it were your own.

Unbelievable. I hope all the neighbors find out it was you. Isn’t it cowardly of you not to let them know it was you when you talked to them about it? And now you claim it must be someone else who intimidated her. No, it was you, Op. Deluded. You really are something.

MysteryBelle · 10/03/2023 01:35

You thought you were all noble bullying that poor woman. Turns out she is the owner of that field. Sweet justice does sometimes come to this corrupt old world.

Floomobal · 10/03/2023 01:38

I can’t believe how mich you’re missing the point - whether she owns the field or not, you CANNOT block peoples way and force them to do what you want them to do.

What planet are you on?!

MysteryBelle · 10/03/2023 01:39

chevvyroo · 09/03/2023 22:28

Seems like you were delighted to take this older woman to task while you felt you had the moral high ground AND judged her to be a suitable target.

Now you're scared and sorry for yourself that the other residents will be angry at you.

This! Op, you’re like the villain in one of those lifetime movies 😂

Badly done, op, badly done.

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