Not sure how or if to put this right

[Smartieshavesomeanswers]

A bit of a long one here, and changed n as me so it can’t be linked back to my other posts…
Behind the housing estate where I live is a lovely big field known as the football field, all the local kids head there at the weekend for a kick about and play. It is a proper field though- not a rec or anything.

Anyway me and my boys were there a few weekends ago and there was a woman walking her dog off lead. It stopped for a shit and she carried on walking and didn’t pick it up. I shouted over and told her to pick it up, and she just carried on walking. I headed over and cut her off and told her to go and pick up her dogs mess. She told me she’d go back for it later and to mind my own business and went to walk off. I did at this point block her way (probably a mistake in retrospect) and told her kids were playing and it was disgusting. She replied that it wouldn’t be a problem if my kids stayed on the footpath and it was her field. Anyway I made her pick it up and thought that was the end of it.

anyway we went to go over there at the weekend and there is now electric fence up either side of the path, all properly signed and everything, and I’ve heard on the grapevine my neighbours are furious that the kids can’t play there anymore. Apparently a few have spoken with the lady (she does actually own it-what are the chances?) and she is saying that she felt frightened and intimidated by someone, and now doesn’t want the kids using it any more and is going to move some of her sheep in there once it’s had a ‘rest’ I think this is just an excuse to justify the fence.

she hasn’t mentioned me, but I am worried if it gets out it was me my neighbours will be really angry. Should I find her and apologise? Apparently she just heads round the field once a day with a scooper to tidy it, all my neighbours seem to think she is gods gift even doing this. Was I in the wrong? I really think I have dropped a clanger here, what should I do?

A woman in her 60s who may be living alone and has been recently intimidated by you, OP, isn't going to respond well to you turning up at her house. The whole situation could easily escalate.
If you are genuinely sorry then write a letter or something, but don't turn up at her house.

Finallyhere - So she's telling the OP that it wouldn't be a problem if her kids stayed on the footpath and not on the field, but she allows the local children to play football on it.

I hope they do narrow it down to the OP. What she did initially by bullying and intimidating the land owner was bad enough, but then she admits to this... I commented to a neighbour that the fence seemed spiteful so not only was she intimidating and squarely in the wrong, she's now trying to turn the neighbours against the landowner.

OP, why are you so keen to be sending wine and cards to a "disgusting" and "spiteful" woman? You sound like an entitled, self serving twat.

Why have you put altercation in inverted commas?
Do you disapprove of her use of language too?

Oh dear. I would accept that the field is gone and leave the landowner well alone.

It's sad for the children but at the end of the day it is her land and she can do what she wants with it, and if she doesn't want people to trespass on it, she has done nothing wrong by fencing it off. If the path is a legal right of way, then people are only entitled to walk on the path, nothing else.

I do find it odd that she didn't pick the poo up though, especially if she was going to put sheep in there, as dog poo is very dangerous to sheep and cattle. Even if she said she was going to pick it up later, it could have broken down a bit by then and leave traces when picked up

This. It's one thing to be civic minded and politely point out that it's an offence not to pick up (and could get onto the kids playing) but you're not an Enforcement Officer. It's not up to you to enforce the legislation by any means necessary (including harassment in this case from what you've described). It's too late now but lesson learned at least (hopefully) going forward.

You are not sorry OP, you are just terrified that your neighbours will find out you are an intimidating bully. The field is gone and it is your doing. This affects not only your kids but everyone else's. Absolutely mortified for you approaching a woman in her 60's like that and blocking her way. How DARE you. YOU got it wrong. This lady OWNS the field, allows the kids on it, picks up all dog shit and litter every bloody day.
It's only a matter of time before the community find out who it was so get ready for the well deserved backlash.

Wow, you properly shafted that for everyone, didn't you. And you still can't seem to see how you were the entitled self-righteous one.

"Moral of the story: her dog shit has more right to be in that field than random kids."

Indeed.

This is such a horrible post , “one of those community saints” !?? She is a kind, thoughtful and generous person who has allowed the community to use her land , even though she then needs to litter pick there.
If this is a small, rural community then everyone will know it was you before long OP.

Why should she? She has kindly allowed local kids and dog walkers to use her field for free and the outcome is she is shouted at by random entitled trespassers! I hope for the sake of the sheep that she keeps them elsewhere, sounds as though there might be the sort of people locally who would still let their kids and dogs onto the field to make a point.

OP stop
blaming yourself, you acted in good faith ... and bravely by confronting someone leaving dogs mess in the way of kids. You re up against 2 injustices here ... one being peoples' readiness to leave digs' toxic mess in a place where kids play and two ... that individual people own land that a commnity might make good use of.

It was agricultural land, owned by this woman, who litter picked and poo swept once a day, and allowed local kids to play on it out of the goodness of her heart.

It’s not a ‘football play area’.

Christ, a couple of people on here are either dim or entitled, or perhaps both. People really don’t understand the how the countryside works.

It’s FARMING LAND.

She didn't act in good faith and she certainly wasn't brave.

Yes, her initial comment was ok, but the aggression and bullying and then further gossip with neighbours is all completely out of order.

Good for her!

How dare you think you can intimidate an older lone woman.
I can guarantee that you would not have done this to a younger woman or man.

If you were a man and spoke to her like that everyone would be encouraging her to ring the police!

Its one thing to ask someone to pick up their dog shit but it’s on a whole other level to intimidate her until she did.
She told you it was her land and you still carried on.

Whats even more annoying is the fact that you’re only apologising because you’re worried that word will get around that it was you that had it fenced off.

Go and apologise but I doubt she is going to take the fences down.

As the saying goes - no good deed goes unpunished.

Bloody hell do you normally go round bullying and intimidating vulnerable widows on their own properties. I would have called the police if you'd blocked me from walking on. That's not how people should behave. I hope everyone finds out its you.
I'm a single older woman and one of my neighbours tried bullying me aggressively over my little cat. She ended up with a visit from the local police who told her in no uncertain terms to wind her neck in or else.

All you need to do is buy the field for a high price, then allow children to play football on it.

Failing that, you're fecked.

that individual people own land that a commnity might make good use of

Farmers should stop producing food forthwith so that entitled townies can let their children run around shrieking and booting footballs around. Got it.

Shame you don’t live near the OP then you could invite the local kids and dog walkers round to use your garden. You own it, but you should be willing to share it. If you don’t want kids playing football then you could offer it up to local people for allotments, or a burger van on Saturday nights would be a great local asset and a very thoughtful gesture.

'She didn't look like a landowner'; what do they look like then? Clearly very unlike 60 year old women........you are sexist as well as entitled.

It was definitely you she was talking about. I know you thought you were in the right but you were aggressive and intimidating (and in the wrong given it was her land). I doubt she'll open the land up again but apologising is the right thing to do so great that you are going to do that.

I’m glad you confronted her it shouldn’t stop you from confronting people again

Let's see how many other community resources the OP can lose for everyone with that little gem of advice.

I think you’re playing down your part here OP, as most people do when they’ve instigated an altercation. She must have been scared of you to erect a fence and go to the trouble of putting up signage etc. And what really pisses me off is that after knowing what you’ve done you then have the audacity to say she’s one of these ‘community saints type’ of people who the locals put on a pedestal. And you sound like one of those ‘pushy, gobby types’ who mouth off without having a clue what they’re talking about the locals like to avoid. You seem to have royally fucked things up for the local kids. You yourself said the field was immaculate, she kept it immaculate!!!!

Do you actually go anywhere?

People are always letting their dogs poop on public ovals and footpaths and then not picking it up.

It's her own property which she allows access too, it's up to each user to decide if it's a place they want to use, not the land owner to ensure it's a bloody manicured, spotless play area.