Page 11 | Not sure how or if to put this right

Smartieshavesomeanswers · 2023-03-09T16:13:50+00:00

A bit of a long one here, and changed n as me so it can’t be linked back to my other posts… Behind the housing estate where I live is a lovely big field known as the football field, all the local kids head there at the weekend for a kick about and play. It is a proper field though- not a rec or anything. Anyway me and my boys were there a few weekends ago and there was a woman walking her dog off lead. It stopped for a shit and she carried on walking and didn’t pick it up. I shouted over and told her to pick it up, and she just carried on walking. I headed over and cut her off and told her to go and pick up her dogs mess. She told me she’d go back for it later and to mind my own business and went to walk off. I did at this point block her way (probably a mistake in retrospect) and told her kids were playing and it was disgusting. She replied that it wouldn’t be a problem if my kids stayed on the footpath and it was her field. Anyway I made her pick it up and thought that was the end of it. anyway we went to go over there at the weekend and there is now electric fence up either side of the path, all properly signed and everything, and I’ve heard on the grapevine my neighbours are furious that the kids can’t play there anymore. Apparently a few have spoken with the lady (she does actually own it-what are the chances?) and she is saying that she felt frightened and intimidated by someone, and now doesn’t want the kids using it any more and is going to move some of her sheep in there once it’s had a ‘rest’ I think this is just an excuse to justify the fence. she hasn’t mentioned me, but I am worried if it gets out it was me my neighbours will be really angry. Should I find her and apologise? Apparently she just heads round the field once a day with a scooper to tidy it, all my neighbours seem to think she is gods gift even doing this. Was I in the wrong? I really think I have dropped a clanger here, what should I do?

follyfoot37 · 10/03/2023 07:16

Mamamia7962 · 09/03/2023 18:48

diddl - Of course people need to clear up after their dog whether it's a field, the middle of a wood or wherever. It doesn't matter whether there's consequences or not. It's called being a responsible dog owner.

So should horse owners be in a field all day ready to pick up muck just because peoplexsomerimes walk through it?

follyfoot37 · 10/03/2023 07:19

Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 19:39

Sorry I think my messages are getting misconstrued here. I don’t mean she’s awful I just want things right again, it was such a nice space and I’m sorry to have lost it. when I was speaking to my neighbour about it being a shame it was now blocked off he said it was a shame because she’d always gone to such an effort to keep it nice, I genuinely didn’t know who she was if I’d know I wouldn’t have said anything!!!

so you would only raise a concern about something youu feel strongly about if the consequences don't affect you?
You really are not covering yourself in glory here

youhavenoshameonyourface · 10/03/2023 07:22

You sound like a horrible old cow. A bully.

Would you have blocked the way and made a man go and pick up poo in that aggressive manner? I doubt it, but an older lady is fair game is she?

You obviously felt quite proud of yourself until you realised you'd perhaps upset the neighbours. All you seem worried about is no-one finding out it was you.

The owner of the field was kind letting kids use her land and was enjoying seeing children play, you've ruined that for her.

Admit to your neighbours it was you. Don't hide. If your actually as brave as you think you are be honest with your neighbours about what you did. Otherwise your just another cowardly bully ruining things for other people.

Apologise to the landowner who is grieving. Do something to rectify this situation.

Iamnotalemming · 10/03/2023 07:24

If the field owner had posted about this situation on here, you'd be declared a CF and she'd be advised to stop letting randoms onto her land.

twitterexile · 10/03/2023 07:25

OP you behaved appallingly and intimidated the field owner who has obviously turned a blind eye to kids playing on this field. She has made the decision to do this WITH HER LAND and it's on you for behaving so dreadfully.

We own a field and sometimes walk our dogs in it and never pick poo up because we don't need to. If anyone treated me the way you treated this woman I would probably call the police. How did you think that this was reasonable in any way at all?

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 10/03/2023 07:28

RappScallion · 10/03/2023 07:06

Peoples entitlement to things they know they don't own always astounds me. I purchased a field several years ago which had been empty for a couple of years and has a footpath running through the middle of it. I wrote to the surrounding houses saying I was putting horses in the field, applying for planning for stables and wanted community feedback on whether they would prefer me to apply to move the footpath around the edge of the field and/or move the stile, and the absolute hell I had from the surrounding houses because they didn't want horses in it was just bizarre

it wouldn't be safe to let their dogs off lead in there as they are reactive
they use it for regular parties putting up marquees
fixing the stile would result in pushchairs and bikes not being able to be used (someone cut a hole in the fence to allow people to get through)

Madness

Wow,such entitlement on their part!

What was the outcome?

twitterexile · 10/03/2023 07:29

Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 17:15

I didn’t think she owned it because she didn’t look like a farmer or land owner. How many women in their 60s ambling around with a dog are actually farmers???

I know the farmhouse now and take her a bottle of wine and some flowers and see if I can smooth things over.

theres no where else within walking distance the kids can play football, it’s all woods, or fields of cow or sheep or ploughed so we really need to get it back. I never thought I’d miss the suburbs with a good rec!!

Good lord you are so entitled! It is her land FGS, not yours.

Dozycuntlaters · 10/03/2023 07:30

You behaved completely unreasonably. I mean yeah by all means tell her to pick it up, but blocking her way and intimidating her.... that is not on. You basically bullied her. You knew the field wasn't public land but you were happy enough to trespass on it. You say you 'made her pick it up'.... how so?

I think you're more worried about people finding out it's you who has ruined it rather than the kids not being able to play there anymore. Who do you think would cause more damage to a field, humans or the odd bit of dog shit.

Honestly OP, cop onto yourself. You were unnecessarily aggressive, and it's bitten you on the arse.

notthisagainforest · 10/03/2023 07:32

Serves you right for being a bully. You were of your ask her to pick it up but not to block her and intimidate her. Now you are the one shitting yourself !

WeAreTheHeroes · 10/03/2023 07:35

Densol57 · 09/03/2023 20:43

Oh dear - not good
But Im not going to be vile to you like some on here
you fucked up - so how to try and repair things
send a note, flowers and dog treats
say the field was always so nicely kept, you got a bit protective of it and you are really really sorry etc that you over stepped the mark.
Maybe she will decide to let the kids back - hopefully x

Absolutely this. But have the courage to go round in person to apologise for your behaviour. And do not mention her letting the kids back in her field.

Doesthepopeshitinthewoods · 10/03/2023 07:37

Smartieshavesomeanswers · 09/03/2023 16:23

She did say it was her field I just thought she was having me on, thats why I made her pick it up-if I’d believed her then I wouldn’t have bothered. What are the chances that she actually did?!?

She told you it was her land, she didn’t tell you to leave, which she had every right to, you ‘cut her off’, she let you stay and you bullied her into picking up the dog poo. I’d say by her actions, you probably did frighten her.

This was a generous woman allowing people to use her land freely, and you fucked it by throwing your weight around where it didn’t belong. Oh dear.

stillcantthinkofaname · 10/03/2023 07:37

Fucking landowners. Yeah you were OTT in blocking her way and as neighbours you could definitely say sorry if you want, there’s no point dying on the hill of 1 dog shit you happened to see being laid. On the other hand, she lets kids play there and thinks it’s ok to leave dog shit there for the day knowing they may get stomped, and now she had been challenged she is doing a shame exchange on you and using being ‘afraid’ as a reason to withdraw access to her land for a bunch of kids who are clearly less important to her than her own sense of entitlement. What an arsehole frankly, she’s just booted your community in the face and everyone is so conditioned to accept land ownership rights over rights to access and space to play they don’t even challenge it. I’m sure she thinks she’s kind/a victim but what a load of total bullshit. Most of this country is now owned by people who inherited their land, don’t work, didn’t earn it, won’t share it. Christ don’t get me started on landlords.

ShakespearesBlister · 10/03/2023 07:37

@Mamamia7962

It's her own private property. She doesn't have to pick it up. Just like I don't have to pick it up in my garden if I don't want to.

We've all assumed OP is a woman but I'm inclined to think the reason they won't tell us exactly how the 'made her' pick it up is because they are actually a man using their size to bully an older woman. Disgraceful behaviour eitherway and the only reason there have now been consequences is because OP decided to be all entitled and behave like it was their property and bully a pensioner.

Perhaps have a look at your own behaviour and explore why you feel so entitled over other people's property? All you seem bothered about now is your own reputation and still seem to think you have some sort of right to her property. You even made demeaning comments about her after you found out who she was, which shows how false your remorse is. 'We need to get it back' indeed. Entitled? Much? lol

I hope the whole estate finds out who the resident arsehole is and treat you with the same contempt you treat older people with. Most people would feel shamed but all you seem to care about is your own reputation and getting her land back like you think she has no right stopping you using it.

NOTANUM · 10/03/2023 07:39

RappScallion · 10/03/2023 07:06

Peoples entitlement to things they know they don't own always astounds me. I purchased a field several years ago which had been empty for a couple of years and has a footpath running through the middle of it. I wrote to the surrounding houses saying I was putting horses in the field, applying for planning for stables and wanted community feedback on whether they would prefer me to apply to move the footpath around the edge of the field and/or move the stile, and the absolute hell I had from the surrounding houses because they didn't want horses in it was just bizarre

it wouldn't be safe to let their dogs off lead in there as they are reactive
they use it for regular parties putting up marquees
fixing the stile would result in pushchairs and bikes not being able to be used (someone cut a hole in the fence to allow people to get through)

Madness

Please tell us what happened!!

follyfoot37 · 10/03/2023 07:40

stillcantthinkofaname · 10/03/2023 07:37

Fucking landowners. Yeah you were OTT in blocking her way and as neighbours you could definitely say sorry if you want, there’s no point dying on the hill of 1 dog shit you happened to see being laid. On the other hand, she lets kids play there and thinks it’s ok to leave dog shit there for the day knowing they may get stomped, and now she had been challenged she is doing a shame exchange on you and using being ‘afraid’ as a reason to withdraw access to her land for a bunch of kids who are clearly less important to her than her own sense of entitlement. What an arsehole frankly, she’s just booted your community in the face and everyone is so conditioned to accept land ownership rights over rights to access and space to play they don’t even challenge it. I’m sure she thinks she’s kind/a victim but what a load of total bullshit. Most of this country is now owned by people who inherited their land, don’t work, didn’t earn it, won’t share it. Christ don’t get me started on landlords.

Well you are quite the charmer

Whataretheodds · 10/03/2023 07:43

LaurieFairyCake · 09/03/2023 16:52

Oh you've properly fucked up

You literally told someone her dog couldn't shit in her own garden

If it was me I'd go round with flowers, wine, dog treats and apologise profusely because she was doing a lovely thing for all the children of your street

And hope to fuck this poor widow forgives you

This is your best.

Whether she changes her mind or not, you've nothing to lose by apologising.

NOTANUM · 10/03/2023 07:44

@stillcantthinkofaname you are joking, right? Do you allow open access to your house/garden/car/possessions?

ReneBumsWombats · 10/03/2023 07:45

I'm surprised there was no sign stating that it was private land. Does it back on to a farm or something that might have clued you in?

Keeween · 10/03/2023 07:45

stillcantthinkofaname · 10/03/2023 07:37

Fucking landowners. Yeah you were OTT in blocking her way and as neighbours you could definitely say sorry if you want, there’s no point dying on the hill of 1 dog shit you happened to see being laid. On the other hand, she lets kids play there and thinks it’s ok to leave dog shit there for the day knowing they may get stomped, and now she had been challenged she is doing a shame exchange on you and using being ‘afraid’ as a reason to withdraw access to her land for a bunch of kids who are clearly less important to her than her own sense of entitlement. What an arsehole frankly, she’s just booted your community in the face and everyone is so conditioned to accept land ownership rights over rights to access and space to play they don’t even challenge it. I’m sure she thinks she’s kind/a victim but what a load of total bullshit. Most of this country is now owned by people who inherited their land, don’t work, didn’t earn it, won’t share it. Christ don’t get me started on landlords.

There’s really not very much of any consequence going on in your head is there?

ShakespearesBlister · 10/03/2023 07:48

Heaven forbid they might just use the same guts they used to bully an old woman to own up to their neighbours with....

ShakespearesBlister · 10/03/2023 07:49

ReneBumsWombats · 10/03/2023 07:45

I'm surprised there was no sign stating that it was private land. Does it back on to a farm or something that might have clued you in?

I'm surrounded by farmland. There doesn't need to be signs. If you know it doesn't belong to you then you don't just assume you have a right of access - you find out.

Sousa · 10/03/2023 07:52

ShakespearesBlister · 10/03/2023 07:48

Heaven forbid they might just use the same guts they used to bully an old woman to own up to their neighbours with....

This!
And then offer to pay for a field to be rented for the kids in the neighbourhood to use 😎

Every other apologie wont be genuine and will only have second intentions...like 'getting' the field back and hope the neighbours dont find out what you did

Itsgottobeme · 10/03/2023 07:53

so she also goes round at the end of the day to clear all the other shit up that people WILL have left.this is why its so tidy. and your litter.
no wonder she leaves the shit til the end of the day.do it all at once.
plus if it was her field she was actually well within her right to leave anything she wants in their.
she sounds like an absolute treasure to your community who youve just made to feel like shit.and actually scared the poor woman.
you dont force someone to do anything.

you get worse with each post.
and sorry frankly its you who sounds disgusting.
god i hope shes ok. because from each of your post i can only imagine how you could make someone feel. and it is NOT good at all.

Dozycuntlaters · 10/03/2023 07:53

@stillcantthinkofaname wow, you sound very angry. Would you let people have free access to your garden? Your way of thinking is bizarre to say the least.

twitterexile · 10/03/2023 07:55

stillcantthinkofaname · 10/03/2023 07:37

Fucking landowners. Yeah you were OTT in blocking her way and as neighbours you could definitely say sorry if you want, there’s no point dying on the hill of 1 dog shit you happened to see being laid. On the other hand, she lets kids play there and thinks it’s ok to leave dog shit there for the day knowing they may get stomped, and now she had been challenged she is doing a shame exchange on you and using being ‘afraid’ as a reason to withdraw access to her land for a bunch of kids who are clearly less important to her than her own sense of entitlement. What an arsehole frankly, she’s just booted your community in the face and everyone is so conditioned to accept land ownership rights over rights to access and space to play they don’t even challenge it. I’m sure she thinks she’s kind/a victim but what a load of total bullshit. Most of this country is now owned by people who inherited their land, don’t work, didn’t earn it, won’t share it. Christ don’t get me started on landlords.

😂😂😂😂

Beyond stupid.