Not sure how or if to put this right

[Smartieshavesomeanswers]

A bit of a long one here, and changed n as me so it can’t be linked back to my other posts…
Behind the housing estate where I live is a lovely big field known as the football field, all the local kids head there at the weekend for a kick about and play. It is a proper field though- not a rec or anything.

Anyway me and my boys were there a few weekends ago and there was a woman walking her dog off lead. It stopped for a shit and she carried on walking and didn’t pick it up. I shouted over and told her to pick it up, and she just carried on walking. I headed over and cut her off and told her to go and pick up her dogs mess. She told me she’d go back for it later and to mind my own business and went to walk off. I did at this point block her way (probably a mistake in retrospect) and told her kids were playing and it was disgusting. She replied that it wouldn’t be a problem if my kids stayed on the footpath and it was her field. Anyway I made her pick it up and thought that was the end of it.

anyway we went to go over there at the weekend and there is now electric fence up either side of the path, all properly signed and everything, and I’ve heard on the grapevine my neighbours are furious that the kids can’t play there anymore. Apparently a few have spoken with the lady (she does actually own it-what are the chances?) and she is saying that she felt frightened and intimidated by someone, and now doesn’t want the kids using it any more and is going to move some of her sheep in there once it’s had a ‘rest’ I think this is just an excuse to justify the fence.

she hasn’t mentioned me, but I am worried if it gets out it was me my neighbours will be really angry. Should I find her and apologise? Apparently she just heads round the field once a day with a scooper to tidy it, all my neighbours seem to think she is gods gift even doing this. Was I in the wrong? I really think I have dropped a clanger here, what should I do?

It has probably been a headache for a while. She may have had litter to deal with, other people's dog shit, entitled locals, whatever.
This has given her the push she needed, to do what she was thinking of doing anyway.

I think you one hundred per cent did the right thing

Op 100% did not do the right thing. No one has to pick up poo on agricultural land. She intimidated a 60 year old widow into picking up poo on her private land.

Out of the kindness of her heart, this lady allowed local families use of the field, going round regularly and without complain picking up poo from the local dogs (including hers) and litter from the children and their parents.

That land is worth something, up to ten thousand pounds an acre so tens of thousands if over an acre. Just because it’s agriculture rather than residential land, to the land owner, it is still the equivalent of allowing the local kids to play on her back garden.

don’t worry about your neighbours. If they are decent people they would have done the same.

Decent people would not harass an older woman and decent people would know the law. When word gets round, the locals will be fuming. It sounds as if this is a semi rural setting and people know local landowner. She will be a legend in their eyes for having allowed the kids to use her field.

If I were the lady and having family, who farm, and knowing what people have done to the land over the years, I would not be changing my mind. I’m talking setting hay on fire, ruining trees and fences, leaving litter etc etc. Not to mention trespassing to go and stroke / feed the horses etc.

If you are going to apologize op then it needs to be with no excuses

Unless I am mistaken, with all due respect, she shouldn't have had to pick up dog poo in her own field... if she wants it to be disgusting, that is up to her. In that case, you were completely in the wrong for how you behaved. If it was a public place, you were still rather heavy handed with how you dealt with it, but I understand your reasons. Either way - there is not much you can do to rectify the situation, although if it is her land you ought to apologise.

You really dropped a bollock there op.
You intimidated a woman on her own, got the situation completely wrong and now have ruined the access for all the residents.
Now you want to apologise because YOU want the field back and YOU don't want your neighbours to find out you caused this.
Round of applause for you.

Because it's free and near-by. They dont care about wild animal shit or indeed probably their own dogs shit. Convenient and free and until now community bonding.

I'm all for pointing out dog mess and suggesting people pick it up but running after her and blocking her path is quite aggressive op. Imagine if a man did that to you, how would you feel? You can apologise to her but honestly none of you have any right to be playing in her private field, I can't really believe this was considered acceptable anyway.

^^This.
OP you sound intimidating and agrees I’ve. Serves you right for being so unpleasant (and now judgemental as well 🤬)
It won’t be long now before people know that you’re responsible for her (absolutely correct and justifiable) actions.

Me too!

You're a fool, OP. You were lucky to even be allowed on the private land to begin with. Now she's changed her mind, there's nothing you can do.

Am I the only one who suspects that this thread is actually all about a journalist desperately hoping someone will call the OP a Karen?

I wish everyone in society was like you (no sarcasm!)
What? Aggressive, bullying, intimidating and clearly incredibly unpleasant to someone walking on their own land?
OP is lucky she wasn’t reported to the police, she’s frightened an innocent individual who clearly no longer feels safe on her own property and now wants to go and see her to apologise?
You have a strange sense of morals @Dexy007 😵‍💫

'The wording was a bit strong...'
How much longer can you try and justify your error?
If you had tried confronting someone about clearing up after their dog arounfpd our way, you would lose more than access to a field
Sadly, your righteousness has affected far more people than you, and you owe all the kids an apology

Just out of interest OP. Had the landowner not stopped your kids using the field would you be giving any thought to how you made her feel? I’m guessing not. Your only objective here is getting back what you want and nobody else finding out how awful you were to somebody who has always shown kindness and generosity to the community.
Your posts come across as entitled, self centred and bullying. That’s also what the land owner saw in your actions.

I wouldn't want my kids to be playing in a field full of dog crap anyway, you can probably find a nicer field.

Assuming any of this is real, it’ll probably get picked up by the press and the locals will have no trouble identifying the op from the story. She’s in for a world of pain if any of this actually happened.

It's not full of dog crap. She goes back to clean up after her dog. Just in her own time - not at the OP's insistence - like all dog owners do in their own gardens.

It’s all about your needs even now.
You need the field back because the kids have nowhere else to play.
You don’t want your neighbours to know what you did

How about taking an enormous step back and look at this from the perspective of the owner?
You intimidated her, forced her to pick up her dog poo and didn’t listen and blocked her exit. i don’t blame her for putting up fencing.

Apologise because it’s the right thing to do, not because you want the field back.

Peoples entitlement to things they know they don't own always astounds me. I purchased a field several years ago which had been empty for a couple of years and has a footpath running through the middle of it. I wrote to the surrounding houses saying I was putting horses in the field, applying for planning for stables and wanted community feedback on whether they would prefer me to apply to move the footpath around the edge of the field and/or move the stile, and the absolute hell I had from the surrounding houses because they didn't want horses in it was just bizarre

• it wouldn't be safe to let their dogs off lead in there as they are reactive
• they use it for regular parties putting up marquees
• fixing the stile would result in pushchairs and bikes not being able to be used (someone cut a hole in the fence to allow people to get through)

Madness

Dear god, this gets better and better
'She didn't look like a farmer or land owner...'
Because she wasn't chewing on a pice of straw saying ooh arr, get off my land', or wasn't driving a tractor, or didn't have her arm up a cow's arse?
Would anyone guess by looking at you that you are an aggressive, walking killjoy?

Sorry but you sound like you bullied her - blocking her path and yelling at her? I’d have been so scared and upset if I were her. And you’re not sorry that she was intimidated, only because she owns the field and now you can’t play there? That’s also not very nice.

If the woman lets her dog poo there and doesn’t clean up, why would you want children to play there anyway? It’s her land and she’s decided she wants to be able to pick up dog poo in her own time without being yelled at. Maybe if it is fenced off, she won’t have to go round clearing up other people’s mess either.

If you do take her wine and flowers, make sure you make it clear that these are an apology for bullying her, and NOT because you want the land opened up again! Don’t even mention the land being opened up again. Otherwise you’ll seem like a) you’re just using her, b) you’re not really sorry and just want something, and c) will probably end up intimidating her again.

The OP has said that a local has said that the landowner goes around it and scoops the poop, just separately from the dog walk.

The reason the field needs to rest before the sheep, is because the soil needs time to recover from being walked on so the grass and other plants can start to grow.

Resting (fallow) is a normal part of grassland management and if she is putting stock on it, she will, almost certainly, scoop the poop as there are several nasty infections that stock can get from dog crap.

The journos will pick this up and make it a Townies V Countrydwellers theme no doubt but, in this case, I suspect this illustrates exactly that problem.