Dh handled neighbours terribly?

[whippedlemons]

Good Evening,

I thought I'd ask on here to gauge if I'm lacking in complete boundaries or if my husband over reacted.

So we recently moved into a ground floor maisonette, we have the back garden. The previous tenant was quite friendly with next door and he would let their children play in the garden etc. when next door fitted a conservatory they took down the whole hedge and built it on the boundary line so I look out my kitchen window directly to their conservatory wall. They left a space between the wall to the hedge so they have access to our garden. (E.g when they had chickens, they would wander around the garden (pre us moving in as they died a few days prior) )

At one point they've fitted a outdoor tap under my kitchen window (this was all previously so fair enough) and use the water from this flat (I'm guessing their on a meter)

Fast forward to now, we've moved in, made friends with them, I get along with the wife etc and I like her

He asked to use the water so I said yes few months back, but often would just walk through his garden through the gap to use it, sometimes daily.

Where as I didn't want to disrupt what they've been custom to for years my husband finds it incredibly invasive and hates it.

Well today as we were all eating dinner in our living room, we hear the water tap being used outside so my husband gets up without warning and basically has a go at him telling him to stop coming in without At least asking and he wouldn't like it if we just walked in their back garden doing what we want. He was quite aggressive the way it came across.

My husband said I lack boundaries and get walked over but I feel so awkward as we are not on a meter and don't see the harm as such (maybe they should ask each time, but if I say yes they probably assume what's the point)

So basically am I being unreasonable to be slightly annoyed at my husband for having a go at him? As I don't want things to be awkward when we've only been here a few months?

This is all too confusing. I have no idea what you're talking about.

I’d probably be annoyed at the way he handled it. The neighbour wasn’t to know and there’s just no need to it a nasty confrontation instead of just having a conversation. But I think a lot of that annoyance would be because I would be embarrassed at having him contradict what I’d said to the neighbour.

And that, in many ways, would be a problem of my own making. Because the agreeing to the using it without asking your DH was unreasonable.

I think what you probably need to take away from this incident is that he had a go at the neighbour because he didn’t want to have a go at you.

DH. But not the way he did it. There was no need to shout.

You mention HA. Are these CFs the sort that think because they own (conservatory) they have the right to do what they want as you’re just a tenant? 😡

Fence it off and turn the water off inside. Get a water meter. I’m also team DH.

Give your DH a hug and thank him for not being worse. I would expect this behaviour on a dodgy campsite not a home. I would rig the tap so that they would get an electric shock every time they touched it. Seriously, your husband is a saint compared to what many other people would be like in this situation, including me.

Absolutely taking the piss. Your Dh is right, maybe could have done it better but what he is saying is right.

I'm team DH. Don't worry about him coming across rude. He's just given them a taste of their own medicine.

Is the conservatory wall looking into your garden a glass wall? I’d hate that! I’d be tempted to put fencing along there for privacy too (but warn the neighbours first). Are you HA tenants or do the neighbours own?

I don’t understand why the neighbour can’t just fit a tap on their property (or get a water butt)?

I guess maybe the previous owner wanted an outside tap, and the neighbour fitted it

Just out of interest, what kind of chickens break gates? Pterodactyls? I am convinced that the neighbours just took it off for quick and easy access to the tap.

The neighbour just needs to put his own tap in next to conservatory! I'd be really pissed off if my privacy was encroached upon whenever they fancy using your tap. Your DH handled it badly but he's probably just at the end of his rope with garden invasion

@TerribleInsomniac Why do you think that?Have you heard of prescriptive easements?

If OP is a social housing tenant, it's doubtful there are any such rights over the HA's land, and they'll have their own legal team to protect their interests. She could flag it up with them if she's concerned they do have such a right or acquiring it.

Can't believe that you said yes tbh.

They built a conservatory & therefore used neighbour's garden as their own?

Bloody hell!

If the property doesn't suit any more they need to move!

An easement to use somebody else's water? Sounds like MN jurisprudence to me.

Put a nice big pyracantha in the space they're using to access your outside tap. It'll cost you about £40 but worth every penny. You could put in a post and net fence where the ginormous chickens broke the other fence.

I am amazed the neighbours have been able to put in a conservatory with glass side overlooking your garden though. Speak to planning at the council if it was built within the last 4 years and see what rules there are about overlooking. It might well have been built under permitted development, but this feels like riding roughshod over their neighbours' rights. Plant something like laurels in your garden along the side of their conservatory. They'll soon grow and block their view into your space.

She wouldn't necessarily be better off and why on earth does she need an excuse for the neighbour?

She's not obliged to carry on any previous arrangement. Who knows how they got the previous owner to agree to the arrangement in the first place if indeed they did

What are you going to do when you get put on a meter?

If you can't deal with conflict tell them you are preparing to get a dog and fence your garden properly, then do or don't, get the dog.

I can't believe your landlord would have allowed any of the neighbours' CFery, especially building their conservatory on the boundary as you've described. You should report all this to them and let them have the fight.

I really don’t understand why your neighbour needs your water supply? That’s really not ok. Unless you have a huge shared communal garden between the two of you, it makes no sense.

Put a fence up to keep your CF neighbours out. I'm shocked you allowed it. If they have access for so many years that might have long term effect. Team DH and tbh can't believe you that wet.

I agree with your h. I'd install a fence again and stop the neighbours using the tap.

Team DH. I would have put up a fence in the first week!

And yes, check with the Council to see if the conservatory has planning permission and is legal. But didn't you do all that before you bought the house?