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Original poster

Dh handled neighbours terribly?

303 replies

whippedlemons · 08/03/2023 22:37

Good Evening,

I thought I'd ask on here to gauge if I'm lacking in complete boundaries or if my husband over reacted.

So we recently moved into a ground floor maisonette, we have the back garden. The previous tenant was quite friendly with next door and he would let their children play in the garden etc. when next door fitted a conservatory they took down the whole hedge and built it on the boundary line so I look out my kitchen window directly to their conservatory wall. They left a space between the wall to the hedge so they have access to our garden. (E.g when they had chickens, they would wander around the garden (pre us moving in as they died a few days prior) )

At one point they've fitted a outdoor tap under my kitchen window (this was all previously so fair enough) and use the water from this flat (I'm guessing their on a meter)

Fast forward to now, we've moved in, made friends with them, I get along with the wife etc and I like her

He asked to use the water so I said yes few months back, but often would just walk through his garden through the gap to use it, sometimes daily.

Where as I didn't want to disrupt what they've been custom to for years my husband finds it incredibly invasive and hates it.

Well today as we were all eating dinner in our living room, we hear the water tap being used outside so my husband gets up without warning and basically has a go at him telling him to stop coming in without At least asking and he wouldn't like it if we just walked in their back garden doing what we want. He was quite aggressive the way it came across.

My husband said I lack boundaries and get walked over but I feel so awkward as we are not on a meter and don't see the harm as such (maybe they should ask each time, but if I say yes they probably assume what's the point)

So basically am I being unreasonable to be slightly annoyed at my husband for having a go at him? As I don't want things to be awkward when we've only been here a few months?

OP posts:
MinnieGirl · 11/03/2023 13:07

Mothership4two · 11/03/2023 12:13

If there is a right of way it's probably in the deeds and it's doubtful HA will be prepared to go through the expense and rigmarole of changing it. Also likely need other parties permission

Show quote history

Wasn’t suggesting the HA change the right of way, even if they could. It was more that the OP wasn’t informed about it, and given the current situation and the fact her children cannot play in the garden, so could reasonably expect to be rehoused

ChilledBeez · 11/03/2023 13:38

This would annoy the hell out of most people. I would find it very irritating. Is it not possible for your neighbour to get his own tap installed. It can be done for around £50.?

SinnerBoy · 11/03/2023 13:45

MinnieGirl · Today 13:07

Wasn’t suggesting the HA change the right of way, even if they could. It was more that the OP wasn’t informed about it...

It could be that they were told about the R.O.W. but didn't take it in. Moving house is massively stressful, loads to do and think about and not everybody hears, or reads every line.

Manthide · 11/03/2023 13:52

Bellavida99 · 08/03/2023 23:22

If you’re in the uk you will be put on a meter as new occupants get put on a meter when they move into unmetered properties. Also 99% of people are significantly better off on a meter as the unmetered ratable charge allows for huge use so I’d advise you chase up getting a meter asap and use that as an excuse for not allowing them to use your water any more. Also if you’re in the uk separate properties must have an independent supply eg if a house is converted into 2 flats they must get a new supply for second flat.

We live in England in a pretty standard 3 bed semi and share a water supply with our neighbours. Our Internal stopcock broke and we had to turn the water off from outside and obviously they had no water until we fixed our issue. They have asked for a water meter a few times as only 2 people and they go away often but the water company can't put them on one because they share with us.

category12 · 11/03/2023 13:57

I thought it was just that the neighbours are using OP's outside tap, not that they're on the same water meter.

RachaelN · 11/03/2023 14:12

I'm sorry but I agree with your husband. They are taking the piss. You live there now and it is your property. It's really invasive.

Isinglass20 · 11/03/2023 17:27

OP referred to a Housing Association so is this a rental property with shared water charge. Either way you’re paying rent or service charge legally entitles you to peace and enjoyment of your garden. Your OH should be having a go at the HA who should contact the neighbours about what they can and cannot do re accessing other peoples land.

category12 · 11/03/2023 17:31

It'd be unusual for the next door neighbour to be on a shared water-charge? Upstairs neighbours, maybe. Chap next door? Seems doubtful.

category12 · 11/03/2023 17:34

Not to mention that the next door neighbour built a conservatory, so is likely a house-owner.

KTMeetsTheRsUptown · 11/03/2023 19:14

OP, I would be annoyed at myself for telling neighbour they can carry on using the tap, especially as its several times a day. Did your husband know tgat you gave them the okay to use it?
I'm with your hubby though wouldn't want tgem keep popping in my garden to use the tap.... the neighbour may have lied about stopcock being in your control.

KTMeetsTheRsUptown · 11/03/2023 19:17

....sorry about spelling/typing errors/mistakes. That/tgat them/tgem

weirdoboelady · 13/03/2023 00:09

Please:

  • read your tenancy agreement (post any bits which seem to relate on here as someone will probably be able to help. That's if it's not too 'outing', of course
  • if there is nothing in your agreement about tap or access, point this out to the HA
  • if there IS clear stuff about tap/access, ask the HA how to raise a formal complaint about over-use of your garden (and possibly your tap facilities) and ask them how they recommend you make your garden secure for your DC.
POTC · 13/03/2023 00:40

You are correct with your description of maisonette @WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

TinyTear · 13/03/2023 08:22

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 10/03/2023 23:05

You mentioned being a maisonette, hence people talking about an upstairs. do you mean a flat?

Isn't a maisonette basically either the ground floor or upstairs of a standard two-storey house that's been split into two flats, but with its own separate front door? Or am I getting confused there?

Thanks, seems I have been mistaken all my life as I thought a maisonette was a flat with an upstairs!

Learnt something new today. Sincere thanks!

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 13/03/2023 09:47

I live in a maisonette but it's not a converted house, it's part of a terrace of purpose built maisonettes. We have our own front door and own the back and front gardens and upstairs has a back garden.

Manthide · 13/03/2023 13:39

TinyTear · 13/03/2023 08:22

Thanks, seems I have been mistaken all my life as I thought a maisonette was a flat with an upstairs!

Learnt something new today. Sincere thanks!

Show quote history

I used to live in Greece and a maisonette there is a flat with an upstairs. Dd2 lives in one in England (3rd and 4th floor).

Original poster
whippedlemons · 13/03/2023 17:18

Well found out today that actually there isn't no access. The HA bought these flats a few years ago and checked everything. They only have right of way through their right hand side where they do have a gate to their next door and then the end of the 3 houses is an exit which is theirs.

Explains why from google earth history images. There has always been soil and a hedge separating my garden from next door.

Bloodyhell another thing to rectify with them!

OP posts:
changeme4this · 13/03/2023 17:25

I would ask HA to do any rectifying and stand a wee way back from it all. I’m mindful of title agreements here, and when drilling more deeply in the legalities it isn’t as it first seems…

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 13/03/2023 19:10

I used to live in Greece and a maisonette there is a flat with an upstairs. Dd2 lives in one in England (3rd and 4th floor).

Do they actually use the word 'maisonette' - nicked from the French like we do - or something in Greek?!

Roundandnour · 14/03/2023 08:39

whippedlemons · 13/03/2023 17:18

Well found out today that actually there isn't no access. The HA bought these flats a few years ago and checked everything. They only have right of way through their right hand side where they do have a gate to their next door and then the end of the 3 houses is an exit which is theirs.

Explains why from google earth history images. There has always been soil and a hedge separating my garden from next door.

Bloodyhell another thing to rectify with them!

Get that in writing from the HA.

Of funds are an issue to block access these are a cheap and cheerful way to do it.

Did you also find out about the garden situation for upstairs? Here of the back garden is shared upstairs have stairs from their property. If no direct access they have the front garden.

Sounds like at least one neighbour has been taking advantage of the vulnerable previous tenant.

Dh handled neighbours terribly?
Manthide · 14/03/2023 11:52

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 13/03/2023 19:10

I used to live in Greece and a maisonette there is a flat with an upstairs. Dd2 lives in one in England (3rd and 4th floor).

Do they actually use the word 'maisonette' - nicked from the French like we do - or something in Greek?!

The french word just in greek letters. I'm not sure what that type of flat is called in England as I don't think they're that common here. Dd has an upside down one with the lounge, kitchen and master bedroom upstairs (4th floor) and the other bedrooms and bathroom downstairs next to the 'front' door (3rd floor).

billy1966 · 14/03/2023 13:01

You definitely need all of this in writing, particularly as you have CF neighbours whom are determined to make idiots of you if they can by using your water and accessing your garden whenever they like.

You need an explicit letter which you can pop into your neighbours door clarifying where you/they stand.

Because of the confusion you should pester by email and phone for the boundaries to be rectified at their cost.

What about the conservatory built on the boundary and looking directly into your garden and home?

Did they give permission?
I would be putting tarpaulin type wind breakers up on your side to black out their view completely if the HA can't rectify it

You need to make a complete nuisance of yourself to the HA.

Squeaky wheel and all that jazz.

billy1966 · 14/03/2023 13:07

whippedlemons · 10/03/2023 08:08

Update guys!

Turns out the two terraces next to me (I'm end) apparently have right of way through their gardens into mine to go to the front lol. So HA said they only need to put a gate in the gap. Also said when the tap was installed it was with agreement that next door and their neighbours (who I've never met) can use it too.

I was never told any of this and it's not in my contract. So looks like the whole row can just come right under my kitchen and living room whenever they like.

Actually the whole city practically can as there is gates to enter the gardens at all.

And now I'm sure my husbands approach will have evoked the most pettiness of behaviours!

You also need to email them that being completely mislead by them earlier with the above incorrect information has been very distressing to you and your husband.

You were never informed at time of contract signing of any issues and you now have been given incorrect information several times which has added considerably to your stress.

They sound extremely incompetent.

Emotionalsupportviper · 14/03/2023 17:17

TinyTear · 13/03/2023 08:22

Thanks, seems I have been mistaken all my life as I thought a maisonette was a flat with an upstairs!

Learnt something new today. Sincere thanks!

Show quote history

I always thought this too.

bellabasset · 18/03/2023 12:32

Well now you know that your dh wasn't being that unreasonable as your ndn's were being cheeky. You compromise, it's not reasonable for the neighbours to be coming in and out to suit themselves.