Dh handled neighbours terribly?

[whippedlemons]

Good Evening,

I thought I'd ask on here to gauge if I'm lacking in complete boundaries or if my husband over reacted.

So we recently moved into a ground floor maisonette, we have the back garden. The previous tenant was quite friendly with next door and he would let their children play in the garden etc. when next door fitted a conservatory they took down the whole hedge and built it on the boundary line so I look out my kitchen window directly to their conservatory wall. They left a space between the wall to the hedge so they have access to our garden. (E.g when they had chickens, they would wander around the garden (pre us moving in as they died a few days prior) )

At one point they've fitted a outdoor tap under my kitchen window (this was all previously so fair enough) and use the water from this flat (I'm guessing their on a meter)

Fast forward to now, we've moved in, made friends with them, I get along with the wife etc and I like her

He asked to use the water so I said yes few months back, but often would just walk through his garden through the gap to use it, sometimes daily.

Where as I didn't want to disrupt what they've been custom to for years my husband finds it incredibly invasive and hates it.

Well today as we were all eating dinner in our living room, we hear the water tap being used outside so my husband gets up without warning and basically has a go at him telling him to stop coming in without At least asking and he wouldn't like it if we just walked in their back garden doing what we want. He was quite aggressive the way it came across.

My husband said I lack boundaries and get walked over but I feel so awkward as we are not on a meter and don't see the harm as such (maybe they should ask each time, but if I say yes they probably assume what's the point)

So basically am I being unreasonable to be slightly annoyed at my husband for having a go at him? As I don't want things to be awkward when we've only been here a few months?

Please excuse my diagram skills 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Gosh OP looking at your plan thats a dreadful invasion of privacy
I couldn’t stand that!
I would Nip that in the bud asap.

Block access as as previous PP mentioned get a tap lock.

good luck

They may even establish ownership of part of your garden/land if they use it for a certain number of years - 20 or 30 (not sure of the number).

Team DH, the constant invasion of privacy would have a drip, drip effect.

Are any of these "arrangements" to use the garden, build in front of the window, wander in and out, use the water etc corroborated by anyone else?

Some people will take advantage of a disabled or elderly person being unable to get out In the garden, or having communication/cognitive problems, and start grabbing slices of land or using the property as their own.

Personally I'd put a stop to it all, put a fence up. I'd also be interested in whether the planning permission was kosher and whether the extension is entirely on their own land. If nothing else a planning violation would be handy to know about if they turn funny when you suggest they stop living in your back garden.

I've got an insulated 'bag' on my outside tap at the moment in case it freezes. If it was me I'd ask my neighbour to get a water butt, and stop them using the tap.

Your CF neighbours have dreamt up a story to justify being caught using your outside tap.

What's the betting that the tap has always been there, but they only noticed it and started using it when they removed the fence/ hedge to build their conservatory. I expect their builders used it too to mix cement and plaster during the build. It's now become a habit. A bad one. They're being inconsiderate and tight.

Ask them to reinstate the boundary at their own expense and turn off the supply to the outside tap until it's in place.

Team DH btw.

First of all, I would tell the neighbour that you will be putting in a fence panel to extend the hedge and complete the boundary - for security reasons! They will then not be able to access your water tap.

Next fit a lock on the tap for extra security.

Discuss replacing the broken fence on the other side with your neighbours upstairs, possibly split the cost, to make your garden totally private.

Check that planning regs were obtained for the conservatory, as they removed the fence and built to the boundary, it is possible that it does encroach on your land. You might have problems selling your house if the buyers solicitor queried the deeds.

Apply to your water utility to gat a metre fitted, it’s likely that you will greatly reduce your bills.

Planning would be permitted development these days ( depending when extension was built ) so they wouldn’t need permission, unless it’s two storey if they've got a window facing your land.

The thing to check is Building regs approval. Particularly look at foundation details OP, if you see cracks.

you didnt question befor eyou moved in why there was a big gap in the fence and why it hadnt been fixed

They're chickens, not tanks. Was it made of straw?

OP the most important thing for you to do, without any delay, is to stop access completely. Others are correct when they say your neighbour could claim ownership - Adverse Possession. The time period is 20 years but requires more or less daily use. Find out when they purchased (Land Registry + others property sites) even if there is just one day remaining, stop access. If 20 years has passed ask your neighbour when they were granted access.

I had been told by the HA that it will be fixed soon, and it's the neighbours responsibility for the hedge that got cut down.

So we have been waiting for the fence and gate to be fixed But after chasing the HA, we've realised that they are taking forever, even though I can't let my children in the garden as they can run round into the open front.

So we decided that we will have to fork out the costs of it all soon.

We moved from down south so I was just happy to have friendly neighbours and be part of a street but I'm just confused if we was being petty.

You are helping them create an easement which is enormously problematic when you come to sell in twenty years.

Sorry - easement, not adverse possession but you must stop it without delay.

But the owner of the land would be asked by land registry if permission is ok.
OP would say no.
Then neighbours would have to prove unrestricted access for the 20years. The burden of proof would be on them.
Its very difficult to prove unless the previous owner of OPs property can be found.

It could be a costly court case OP so just block all access.

Personally I’d keep quiet about anything to do with easements, I wouldn’t ask how long theyve had access etc. It might put the idea into their heads. As PP mentioned just check when they bought with land registry website. It will only cost you £3.

‘Good fences make good neighbors.’ Robert Frost

Just remembered
check rightmove sold. If they bought recently it will be on there.
Also for your house if there property isn’t listed.

DH does have a point, although making it a bit more diplomatically would have been a better first approach.

You do have a cheeky fucker neighbour and need to assert your boundaries. Get the fencing fixed and hope that they don't get any more of these super powerhouse bionic chickens that can smash down fencing and gates. 🤣

Team DH here too. As previously stated, good fences make good neighbours.

Also fascinated by the superchickens. I'm picturing several Foghorn Leghorn types kicking the fence down and marching triumphantly into your garden!

CFs don't tend to respond well to diplomatic or polite suggestions/requests, anyway. I am on DH's side. No pussyfooting around, no people pleasing.

A similar shared experience and your DH is correct. It's not you that doesn't have boundaries btw, it's your neighbours. Nip it in the bud now!

If they keep dicking around for long enough without making any changes, can’t they legally force you to keep things as they are?
Cant you get the HA to force them to fucking hurry up and fix the fence and clarify the tap situation? That sounds insane to me. I suspect the neighbours are CFs.

Your husband sounds like a real man-he's absolutely right, no messing about. Follow his approach (minus shouting) and just be clear about what you want to happen from now.

I agree with your husband in principal, but I think that he went about it in a bad way. A polite conversation with them, followed up with a letter saying the same thing, would have probably been a much better way to deal with it.

@whippedlemons could you tell us please what your neighbour's reply was, and whether they seem to be accepting it graciously.

Also team dh. Did they do the gardening for the previous tenant or did they just take advantage of them? It sounds as if the neighbours are house owners so you should protect the property you’re renting as they can claim an easement if this continues. Block the hole in the fence.