To be annoyed about being asked for money?

[Xzxzxzxz]

I know a man through volunteering at an organisation we're both interested in. I would say we are friendly acquaintances. Tonight he messaged asking if I could lend him money because he can't afford to put his gas on till Monday. I asked how much and he said £25.

I have sent it because I felt guilty if he was freezing and I could help, but AIBU to feel annoyed that he asked and put me in an awkward position? I don't want it to become a regular occurrence and it has made me feel uncomfortable. AIBU to be a bit annoyed by the request, or should I just accept he had no option but to ask because of his circumstances?

Volunteering doesn’t come with a contract or hours you must work.
If you can’t make it in, because your illness/disability is stopping you from functioning, you don’t get penalised & you won’t be sacked for having to constantly take time off from volunteering. Many volunteering positions will still let you come in even on your bad days, if you can make it in, & they will support you through your struggle whereas big companies, in my experience, are not that supportive.
Volunteering is flexible & for many it is a good way to help alleviate loneliness, help with depression, help work on getting back out into the work place, help you feel like you are part of life rather than a drain on it & not worthy of having an existence.

I can’t even volunteer these days, despite it being something I have done in the past, because I no-longer have the physical capacity for work of any kind.
CFS is so debilitating & there is no cure or way to fight through it like I sometimes could with my depression, anxiety & fibromyalgia pain.
I feel like a waste of space & drain on society because of my disabilities. I know I am not either a drain or a waste of space but I still feel that way most days.

You're annoyed by being asked to help someone who you like, you believe to be genuine and to whom you could have said no. YABU.

On PPM most are using minimum £10 a day for gas & that is even when they are being careful. Those on PPM’s are often also paying off a debt, as well as paying more for the privilege of paying up front for their gas & electric, so if they top up £25 a percentage of that will be taken for the debt meaning they will probably only get a £15 top up from £25.
£25 will not see him through until Monday but between certain hours on a weekend, I think it is 6pm Saturday to 11am Monday, power companies will not cut your PPM off. Only problem with this ‘help’ is that when you top up on the Monday you have to clear what you have used over the weekend before you can actually add credit to your meter.

If your issue is that he crossed a boundary and it was inappropriate to ask, you could have said that to him. You can even be nice about it.

“I’m really uncomfortable that you have contacted me by Facebook. I’m sorry that you’re struggling but I’m not the best person to help you, and I suggest you contact (energy company/charity etc). Take care, Xzxz

Op - I would have leant it too.

It only becomes an issue if he doesn't pay it back next week - this means you don't lend in the future.

I think you need to put yourself in his shoes. He must have been pretty desperate to ask. If he wasn't and he was lying then you probably won't get it back and you don't lend any more if he asks again.

If he pays it back, you've done a good thing.

Do you have a problem with that?

I would help out, and I have done, but I never give cash. I will help pay a bill once I have the account details, and will top up pre paid cards or arrange a food delivery etc.

I was once on the bones of my arse and I was helped. It never leaves you.

Huge red flag here. As others have said it will be £25 this week, £50 next etc etc. Please do not allow yourself to be used !

Best thing to do is accept that you aren't getting that money. If he asks again say no.

It’s not emotional blackmail. You are interpreting his behaviour in that way because it’s made you feel uncomfortable. He may not be your friend but it’s pretty unpleasant to expect someone to tolerate a potentially damaging situation and not to speak out rather than make you aware of it because you would prefer to be in ignorant bliss. Lend him money or don’t, but stop making this about you. Or better still, have the courage of your convictions and have this conversation with your non-friend. I can guarantee he won’t ask again after that.

What do you think emotional blackmail is?

He was presumptuous, asking you. You felt guilty and loaned the money, any agreement on when it's being returned? Never loan to him again, even if he does eventually repay you. Just have a mantra of never loaning money, just say I've been hurt in the past so now never make loans.

You've already given him the money hope you get it back.

If he asks again direct him to his supplier who can add credit if he's really run out

@Xzxzxzxz did you get the money back?

What day does he get paid? If you know this could you time it? And maybe ask him for the money back the day before?
I know it's nice to help people but you can't be doing money in the process. You work for that money and shouldn't have to hand it over. I don't want to come across as cold but who knows when you may need that 25 yourself.

To me things in life happen, If I didn't want to do I would say no

There is a billion plus things on life that shouldn't happen but they do the we handle it is on us