To suggest putting trousers on to go out in the snow

[Shebelievedshecouldbutshecba]

DS was being taken to football today. Was in football kit ready to go. DH asked him to put trousers on before getting in the car, given it was snowing. DS refused point blank. DH said he wasn’t taking him unless he put the trousers on. I agreed. DS refused, so DH wouldn’t take him and we now have had a 2h tantrum (with screaming) about what awful parents we are.

WWBU? I don’t think we were. Would have taken him less than a minute to put the trousers on, the consequence of not doing so was clearly laid out, and then we followed through with the consequence.

And any guesses how old DS is?

And then turning up at Reception/Medical because they've got a horrible burning sensation on the inner thighs, asking if there is any spare PE kit they can wear and wanting Mum to be called to come and get them.

Think chilblains are unpleasant on the fingers and toes? It's nothing compared to the burn there.

I asked our postie about that. He said it's because in rain or snow the bottoms of their trousers get sopping wet, and the water wicks up, which is much nastier and colder.

I'm in NZ and in my town most of the boys wear shorts to school all year round, even though they can wear pants - and yes, it does snow here. It doesn't seem to do them any harm.

Wouldn't happen in shorts though in this instance

This is 12. This is the beginning of it, I am afraid. Most kids that age would not wear trousers to football if it was snowing, they would wear skins.

When you are a teen - and sounds like he is one now - it is really important you wear the right clothes, you fit in with the gang, you don't draw attention to yourself. For many groups of boys there is a degree of "banter" that goes round - sometimes that banter is nice than other times, in some circumstances it easier to take than at others.

My guess is if your son didn't want to wear the trousers it was probably because he wants to fit and he doesn't feel very secure in the group.

Maybe someone has already made a throwaway comment about him being "soft" and he doesn't want to give them fuel to the fire. Who knows?

Tomorrow I would say to him, look yesterday got a bit out of control. We see you are growing up now and going forward you can make the choices about what you wear and we'll try our best not to interfere unless we really have to

Then ask him if he thought other people would say stuff. You might learn some stuff you need to know.

I wouldnt have stopped him going, he would have been warm in no time playing football. but would have insisted he takes trousers in a bag for the journey home if needed, because once he stopped exercising you get cold really quick.

I think you’ve done the wrong thing.

@category12 agreed. A kid going to play football for an hour in the uk cold isn’t going to get hypothermia.

Poor kid. You just had to win that one, didn't you?

0 kids died from the cold today. The cold does affect some people, mainly elderly or those with health conditions, but absolutely 0 kids died from wearing shorts to football training today 😂

😂😂😂😂😂😂

Ridiculously controlling

I'd have left him to it

I find this bizarre. Your 12 year old was dressed appropriately for the activity he was doing but you needed to exert control over his clothing choices resulting in him missing his activity and him getting upset.

why?
Why not just leave him be?

i’n baffled as to why you felt trousers in the car to a sports activity was a good reason to upset your son?

what specifically was your concern @Shebelievedshecouldbutshecba ?

Are you always like this?

YABVU and sound massively overbearing. Poor lad. I can't believe you made him miss training for that!

My dd's team train at 7-8pm and they've trained in some horrendous weather in the pitch black this winter but a lot of the girls train in shorts and I don't know how they stand it but none of them have died!

I went running in shorts. What exactly do you think would have happened to him? He was wearing shorts, he wasn’t naked!

You picked the wrong battle.

I think you owe him a huge apology personally!

I hope you apologise to him!

I asked once. They said it’s because they compete as to how cold they can go. 🥶

DP grew up on the arse end of moorland and would frequently get stranded because the single bus an hour would stop running at the first hint of snow or heavy rain. He says there are other areas that boys really do not want to get that cold, especially not after running around and sweating.

He's worn base layers when the forecast/temperature is<5 Celsius ever since.

Puppers at 21:07 above put it v well. agree totally.

Sorry, but again thats not relevant. He's not wearing a skirt, and he's not waiting for an unreliable hourly bus.

Of course he was upset. He's missed something that he enjoys doing and probably looks forward to doing.

My 16 year old does training two nights a week. She has a bag that she takes with her with trousers, shorts, hat, raincoat etc so she has everything she needs.

Unless a toddler is fully expect them to know if they needed trousers or not and line with the consequences of the wrong choice. Now I see he's 12. Whilst a 2 hit tantrum is extreme I kind of get why he was so cross at being dictated to over his own body

He's 12 not 4 he can pick his own clothes.
Talk about overbearing.