For using a foodbank when my family are relatively well off ?

[Notaskingmuch]

But won’t help me ?

I was told yesterday by someone I know that ‘you know foodbanks are for people with no other choice and no support at all not ones who could get help from family’

The thing is my family WONT help me.

I can’t explain to people my family dynamics, how dm is narcissistic and I’m the scapegoat. How she’s happy to have both my dsis round for regular get together a where they have nice meals or go out to restaurants but I’m not invited , that they get invited round for afternoon tea but I don’t ….etc etc

Once recently when I was desperate I asked could I borrow a few staple food items and got told ‘I don’t have much here sorry’ on another occasion I asked could I borrow £20 to do a basic shop and was told ‘sorry no-you need to support yourself’ (from someone who owns their home outright , has a DP who still works and earns well and who regularly treats her other 2 daughters)

So we use a food bank, well 2 actually as one is church run and unlimited and the other is via a voucher and limited.

i can’t bring myself to have to explain as I’m exhausted and wish she had kept her comment to herself. I can see it looks like somethings off as she knows my family but I just don’t want to be judged she clearly thinks I’m a CF though .

I was going to say that. There’s no way someone with this attitude donates to anything. It’s a total lie used to prop up the poster’s judgement.

Yes, I do and always have. We also do the collections outside the supermarkets four times a year and a Christmas fundraiser. I am cross with op, her dh should not be working part time

I couldn’t care less whether you believe me!

We aren’t abusing the system.

Im sure my mothers side of the story would be something along the lines of ‘ Notaskingmuch has made her bed so she can lie on it . We did warn her that her life partner choice was not in keeping with family values so we can’t be seen to do anything to condone something we don’t agree with’ (These are things she has actually said)

Also springchicken75 your posts are very unique it actually made me want to go and google if Katie Hopkins was born in 1975!

@Springchicken75 on the days the OP works wednesday- friday the max her consultant said she is to work; she needs to go to bed after work so her DH can't work as he needs to look after the children from 4pm onwards ie after school has finished, he is only 1 hour short of full time
Also it is not always easy to magically up your hours there may not be extra hours to give, in any case the cost of after school / nursery care has to be deducted from those earnings, the cost of 2 children in children care per hour is probably the same as they are earning so there is no net benefit,
so if we assume her DP did work on wednesday another 8 hours 9-5.30 with 30 minutes lunch, because OP is also working they would need 2 children in childcare probably for 9-10 hours depending on the commute after dropping at child care, it has to be worked out whether 8 hours at £X is greater than 2 x 9 hours childcare at £Y if her DH is at or close to minimum wage the answer might be close to £0

Feckless. There we go. You’ve said it.

You're shameful. You really should be embarrassed.

Just had a search of your posts. Very…predictable.

Op can you please answer the question. Why isn’t your dh working full time? So many pp have asked you.

I think a certain poster in here is talking out of their arse when they say they work a 50 hour week and donate to a Foodbank.

Op you can answer the question please

She has, several times.

Are you unable to read? Or understand? Or read and understand? He works ten hour days in the days the OP has the children. On the day she works (as advised by her consultant after her accident) she works 9:30-4, and he provides the wraparound childcare. He’s currently working 37 hours, condensed into four days. That’s full time. Anything over 35 is full time. He also cares for his wife.

The cost of everything has gone up. Money doesn’t go as far as it used to.

Now, you apparently work 50 hours but have tonnes of time to berate poor and immigrant people online. Perhaps, if the OP’s H’s job was as cushy as yours seems to be, he’d have enough left in the tank to work longer-than-ten-hour-days, alas he doesn’t.

Or are you too feckless and lazy to read them?

Your dh could easily take a second job, but he hasn’t and won’t.

He doesn't work part time, he works condensed hours over 4 days.

Jesus @Springchicken75 your shitty posting to the OP is relentless. Is there something actually the matter with you?

So plenty of time to work extra hours to cover the food bill!!

So when he's looking after the children while OP is working that doesn't count. That will go down with all the SAHMs on MN, they are just sitting at home aren't they, the cheek of them when they complain about how it has affected their pensions.

^^This. With bells on

How do you think other families manage????

I guess op would get the support from those pp also not contributing, no surprises there. Working parents paying for the food banks will be busy working and not posting. I couldn’t go in today due to the weather but honestly - yes dh needs to step up. It’s not on. That’s my view.

WTF is your problem?

Have you read the OP's posts?