She doesn’t say hello, goodbye or offer a drink…do you think this is rude?

[Isrecordingloosewomenweird]

I work in a woman’s house (working with her daughter)
When I come in in the morning, I smile and say ‘Good morning/hi/hello’ when I’m leaving I say ‘See you tomorrow, bye’ etc, she doesn’t reply.
I work with her Dd for three hours and am never offered a drink, so I bring my own bottle of water. The husband, if there, always offers a coffee and automatically puts two glasses and a large bottle of water on the table for us…I’d likely do similar.
Does anyone think she is a bit rude or just me? 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s not rude to not offer you a drink. You’re not exactly a guest. I would, but there’s no obligation.maybe she’s cripplingly shy.

NO, she's not a bit rude, she's extremely rude! To not even reply when you greet her in the morning and when you leave is shockingly rude, let alone never offering you something to drink. I wonder why she's like that with you. I'm glad that at least her husband has normal manners.

Yes I think it's rude. I know a couple of mums through my DDs who never ever say hello or goodbye! It's basic manners

Extremely rude. Some people have no social skills anymore.

I think the lack of acknowledgement is extremely rude. I am shy but seriously, everyone who comes to my home gets acknowledged .

She doesn’t sound pleasant.

I had a boss like this and she was astonished when I resigned because I said I thought she didn’t like me (only 2of us in the department). I found out she was like this with my successor so I think some people are just very rude and yes I think she is being incredibly rude.

Rude, shy, lacking in social skills, uncomfortable with having someone working in her house and unsure about what’s appropriate — who knows?

@Yesthatismychildsigh She’s definitely not shy 🙈
No, I’m not a guest, but I’m sat there for 3 hrs with no break etc…so it’s not bel to take your own drink?
It’s just something I’d personally automatically put on the table or offer
Even the daughter sometimes gets up to get me a drink and seems a little embarrassed

@Timeforachangeisitnot Yes, I’m fairly shy to, but have basic manners

*Too

@LesserBohemians I’m not sure 🤷🏻‍♀️She’s very confident and self assured, so I don’t think it’s lacking in social skills..it seems like maybe not even thinking/caring

Are you working with her daughter as in a support worker or as a colleague? If your a support worker then yes she’s being rude, if you are a colleague and working from her house then she could well be peeved that her home is turning into an office

Or perhaps it is just a thing where she sees me *Just as a worker in her home, therefore not having much respect, just not encountered it before

@Warrensrabbit Tutor

Taking your own drink is reasonable, not acknowledging you is rude. I have worked with children in their own homes and it was normal for us to take our own drinks with us, it was an added bonus if we were offered a tea or coffee.

Yanbu but I wonder with people like this are they exceptionally rude or exceptionally shy/awkward/avoidant. I've known people who appeared to be rude through lack of basic manners but after a long while (a colleague) she told me that she feels constantly on the verge of a panic attack in any social interaction so much so that if someone walked into a room she'd keep her head down so as to avoid saying hello which of course the other person interprets as rudeness.
What sort of work are you doing? Do you think she'd rather not converse with 'the help'?

@DojaPhat I can totally understand that and am quite a reserved person myself, I’d say she’s v confident though, not shy

@bloodywhitecat Ive sometimes taken a bottle of water in summer etc, but in every home I’ve been in, I’ve always been offered a drink and it’s just something I’d do. I leave drinks and snacks out for my Dds babysitter for example, she only comes for a few hours or I say to help herself.
I don’t know, it just feels a bit unfriendly

She’s rude as fuck. If someone is working in my house it’s their workplace and it’s my responsibility to make sure they have access to water, the loo, etc. why wouldn’t you want your kid’s tutor to be comfortable?

The not acknowledging you is very rude but I think it's fine not to offer a drink.

@bussteward I’ve never had to use the toilet, but thinking about it, I have no idea where it is, I’ve never been shown…that’s also something I’d likely show/say on the first day.

@Toffeebythesea Really? It’s just something I’d feel weird not offering. She will bring her Dd a tea or water but I’m just sat there…just feels a bit odd. Whereas the dad brings two glasses and water etc, just on the table, plus asks if I’d like a coffee or tea (I politely decline) but it’s lovely to be welcoming and offer.

Is this EOTAS tutoring?

To be honest, I probably wouldn’t expect to be made a drink every single day and would bring a coffee or water with me.

If you wanted one-I’d probably ask if she minded if you used the kettle to make a coffee mid morning.

Getting her daughter one and not you feels very deliberate!

Sorry, somehow I missed that she doesn’t reply to you. That most definitely rude.