She doesn’t say hello, goodbye or offer a drink…do you think this is rude?

[Isrecordingloosewomenweird]

I work in a woman’s house (working with her daughter)
When I come in in the morning, I smile and say ‘Good morning/hi/hello’ when I’m leaving I say ‘See you tomorrow, bye’ etc, she doesn’t reply.
I work with her Dd for three hours and am never offered a drink, so I bring my own bottle of water. The husband, if there, always offers a coffee and automatically puts two glasses and a large bottle of water on the table for us…I’d likely do similar.
Does anyone think she is a bit rude or just me? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I truly feel like you have taken over a job I had previously! You have described everything I experienced!
Does the daughter's name begin with an S? And Mum's name C?

If she doesn’t reply I’d ask her if she has heard. Or just start ignoring her. And I’d be very friendly with her husband when he’s around.

so she hired you then doesnt even acknowlefge you and brings her dc drinks and ignores you

shes a rude bitch

Just so you know, having no social skills isn't rudeness, there is usually an underlying reason for it.

She's rude end of. Maybe ask her have you done anything to maybe upset her. Be diplomatic ofc but yeah sounds like a misery tbh.

Hardly a good role model for her daughter, manners are so important.

I might consider not offering a drink a bit ... inconsiderate and not thoughtful. But heigh-ho, some people are like that, they are not thirsty, that means no one around can be thirsty. However, not saying hello and good bye is 100% rude!

Bad manners.

Shades of

The rich man in his garden, the poor man at his gate.

Next time she makes her dd a drink I would have to ask "is there a reason I never get offered a drink" and see what she says. Then I'd quit from the awkwardness of it all.

The verse of All things bright and beautiful that is never sung anymore!

I would bet money she treats waiting staff badly in a restaurant….

I think the rich man is in his castle but I much prefer your version.

Is there a cultural difference?

It’s not that she knows the dad will be doing it as they’re not there on the same days, so if she’s out, he’ll be there and vice versa.
She speaks perfect English, but isn’t English.
It did feel v weird to be sat there and her to bring her Dd tea and biscuits and not acknowledge me at all to ask if I wanted anything. I didn’t have my water bottle at that time, but have started taking it now after I was coughing a lot one day and asked the Dd if I could possibly get myself a glass of water ( she got it for me) but I felt quite embarrassed so have now remembered to bring my own.
She talks to me at points and has been ok sometimes, but I just get a general air of snobbery or thoughtlessness or something.
I feel quite embarrassed sometimes to walk into the kitchen and say Good morning to her back at the sink etc, without her barely uttering a greeting or really turning around 🤷🏻‍♀️I also have to sort of walk out/let myself out, no one shows me to the door or really acknowledges I’m going.
I also have to text at the door in the morning, I can’t ring the doorbell as the dogs bark 😬
It’s just so different to other jobs I’ve had

If you worked in a supermarket, library, hospital or whatever would you expect your boss to offer to make you a drink?

She is rude for not saying hello or goodbye though.

@Soapyspuds You would be shown where you could make a drink in those jobs.

@PosieLuton Yes, I mean, even if she said to help myself to a drink if I needed it, I’d be ok with that

If you worked in a supermarket, library, hospital or whatever would you expect your boss to offer to make you a drink?

That's a bit different to working in someone's home tho.

And yet Mn is populated by people who say they suffer crippling social anxiety, can’t make eye contact with other people, suffer agonies on the school run, have no friends, are terrified people will look at them oddly if they go to the cinema alone, and come on Mn to ask where they should put themselves and how to behave when their cleaner is in the house.

I think she must come from a country where it is still customary to regard any form of “hired help” as automatically inferior.
Which is no excuse - she is definitely rude, especially not acknowledging your arrival and departure.

I think it’s really rude not to say hello and goodbye, it’s a basic courtesy. I don’t think drinks should be expected per se, but, for comparison, I’ve worked as a tutor in several homes and have always been offered water and/or a hot drink every time. Even if I’ve politely declined the previous week, I’ve always been asked each week! Tbh I’ve almost always been brought a snack along with the child too. Obviously I’d never expect that, but I’ve always had families making a really concerted effort to make me feel welcome. It definitely feels a bit pointed to ask the child if they want water and not you.

What I find weirder than the water thing though is that if she doesn’t say bye, does that mean she doesn’t speak to you at all afterwards? All the parents who have paid me to help their kids learn normally want a quick summary of how it went at the end, what they can do to support the learning, what progress they’ve made etc. I find it odd she wouldn’t even say “how did it go?” Does she literally not even speak to you? Very odd!

Not sure I have any advice other than I guess you have to decide how valuable the work is and if you can handle not being greeted for the sake of lots of hours of regular work then just shrug it off 🤷🏻‍♀️ and never forget your water bottle 😂

@Spraylatter Can definitely see that likely being the case.

If you get blanked again I would say... " I have been working here for x months yet when greet you with Good Morning, out of politeness to let you know I am here and ready to work, there is never any response. Is there a reason why? It seems very unusual in a working relationship and it makes me feel very uncomfortable"

And see what she says to that.

@MissLucyLiu I have wondered if this could be part of it.

If you’re talking to her back perhaps she’s slightly hard of hearing? I find the drinks thing rude, especially if she’s making her daughter one! I can’t imagine ever doing that