She doesn’t say hello, goodbye or offer a drink…do you think this is rude?

[Isrecordingloosewomenweird]

I work in a woman’s house (working with her daughter)
When I come in in the morning, I smile and say ‘Good morning/hi/hello’ when I’m leaving I say ‘See you tomorrow, bye’ etc, she doesn’t reply.
I work with her Dd for three hours and am never offered a drink, so I bring my own bottle of water. The husband, if there, always offers a coffee and automatically puts two glasses and a large bottle of water on the table for us…I’d likely do similar.
Does anyone think she is a bit rude or just me? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Anyway I doubt it's that, she sounds like she's from a culture with a particular attitude towards the paid help.

Eh? I offer a drink within 5 minutes of anyone coming into my home. Work or social. It’s just basic hospitality surely. That’s the first thing I’d do, put the kettle on.

anyway op, yes she’s rude.

Thanks 👍. That what I thought, but this confused me:

"I’d actually tackle her about it and say she’s rude not to acknowledge when I arrive and leave but that’s because I’m a passive-aggressive bitch!"

If I made a drink to every worker that came into my house nothing would ever get done. Their there to work not to drink my tea and coffee. She is there for 3 hours she won't dehydrate. Like I said if it was someone who was there all day absolutely but a person can manage 3 hrs without a hot drink. Could you imagine being in a workplace for only 3 hrs and having breaks and hot drinks it wouldn't happen.

Sorry but have to agree with op. Lady is rude not to reply to you or offer a drink. My daughter has a tutor twice a week and gets a cup of tea within 5 mins of arriving. Don't understand how you cannot offer a drink to guests. Its common courtesy. I also offer drinks to tradesmen! Also chat with her for a few mins after the lesson regarding daughter's progress rather then rush her out the door.

It’s not about dehydration @Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy, it’s about hospitality. And this isn’t an endless stream of people carrying out random one- off tasks. This is one person, coming back every week, to work directly with a member of the family. It’s not the blunmmin’ meter reader!

I certainly have a drink at work more often than every three hours. And I don’t think I’m unusual in that!

But for some cultures, ‘guest’ is a huge deal, and would require an entirely different set of hospitable behaviours. You’re using ‘guest’ and ‘someone working in your house’ as synonyms. For other cultures, often ones where being a host comes with huge obligations, they wouldn’t be. I mean, it’s not a big deal to me either way to greet and offer a drink, but the OP referred to not being ‘shown out’ afterwards — it wouldn’t occur to me to do that, any more than I would show out my cleaner, because if I’m home while she’s about, I’m working.

To me, yes forthright but the way I’d tackle her would be a bit of sarcasm and asking her outright why she’s not acknowledging me, hence passive aggressive in my mind.

I certainly wouldn’t be nice about it but I would be civil.

I’ve dealt with a number of snobs/posh people and sometimes the direct slightly rude approach is the best as that’s exactly what some of them dish out to you!

She may have additional needs of some sort herself. Autistic, hearing impairment. If you were a teacher working for 3 hours in a school you wouldn’t be entitled to a coffee. You’d probably take your own. I’ve done supply teaching for a whole morning 8:30-12 and been given the break duty to do and no time to get a drink. Always take one with me. If working more than 4 hours you would be entitled to a break. But I’m guessing there’s more to her rudeness that just being rude and you maybe don’t know her full story.

Is she English?? One of the mother’s at my daughter’s school avoids contact with all the parents as she can’t speak English. She seems lovely but can come across rude. She has texted me a few times but I know she has used Google translate or something to help that. The dad is very chatty and seems to have excellent English. The daughter is almost top of the class for English despite it being her second language.

I doubt it's a cultural difference, most cultures place importance on making visitors welcome, and there are cultures that are much more welcoming than British.

I would just stop acknowledging her. Just go to the dd, greet her and start your session.

The more you greet her the less she respects you.

She’s French 🤷🏻‍♀️

@UdoU How awful though, the more you greet someone, the less they respect you

If she's French then she's being shockingly rude, there's not even a cultural excuse at play.

typical i knew she would be-very rude

You ‘knew’ she would be French because she’s rude? Hmm.