To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

🙄Callling yourself 'Mx', 'Mrs' or Mouse will not make inequality go away. Grow up

Indeed.

I read somewhere that married womens' life expectancy is less than single women whereas conversely married men live longer than single men.

This was a few years ago but if still true speaks volumes as to who marriage benefits lol

YABU. I like Mrs and waited what felt like years to be able to use it 😂

Not viewing women as defined by men as default will certainly help.

Anyway, I don't think you've addressed the question that's been asked many times. If proudly displaying your great achievement of marriage is so important why don't we intruduce the same categories for men? Or is it not a achievement to bag a good woman and keep her? Do you think all the proudly married men would jump at the chance to use such a title? And if not, why not?

Not everyone identifies themselves as a feminist. Understandably so, when to do so means they have to fall in with a narrow world view in line with what some women have decided what feminism is, and isnt.

Nothing wrong with Ms, it's not a weird choice at all. I've been a Ms since I was about 17!

I'm also Dr though, and if people ask me "Miss or Mrs?" I'm likely to feel arsey and say "Dr".

why don't we intruduce the same categories for men?

I don't see a problem with that

Or is it not a achievement to bag a good woman and keep her?

It definitely is an achievement also in my view

And you. You identify as more highly educated and the marker for this is that you kept your own name.

Gotcha.

I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues

Don't be daft. Most of the people I know who are Ms (including myself) are married. We were Ms before and, should we be widowed or divorced, we'll be Ms after.

All of this happens to me too 😂

I forgive his parents, because they are getting older and I think it's a generational thing.

I'm less forgiving when people of my generation do it, it winds me up and I will tell them.

Some people at my work have made comments about me being a feminist in a way that I find slightly challenging - like they think it's somehow rebellious, or I am trying to be some sort of trailblazer or put myself on a pedestal.

I find that uncomfortable because I'm not trying to do anything.

It is simply that me and my husband have an equal relationship and don't buy into the patriarchy and misogyny. It should be the norm.

I guess just model what you'd like to see in the world. If you don't want to have Miss and Mrs anymore, then don't use them, and correct other people when they use them incorrectly.

Married Ms here, I didn't take my husbands name. I don't see why I should have to declare my marital status this way, no men ever do.

But do you think men would actually use it if given the option? Because I don't. And I think you'd be disengenous to say you do.

Grow up? Name calling is merely a demonstration that you have no compelling argument.

Using a term such a ms which does not disclose marital status thereby putting women on an equal footing with men and mr can only ever be a positive step in the right direction.

Arguing for no change because it will not change everything is nonsensical.

but does any married woman really use Ms?

Loads of us do. Me, for a start. And I don’t use his name either.

Well, they wear wedding rings as Wilson pointed out, so...

Gotcha about what?

The research supports the assertion. Feel free to look it up.

Gotcha = understood what you are saying.

Using a term such a ms which does not disclose marital status thereby putting women on an equal footing with men and mr can only ever be a positive step in the right direction

Yes, and many women use 'Ms'. I do too.

What some posters are arguing is that it's not ok to withhold the 'Mrs' title option from others just because you would like to use it and can't or because it doesn't suit your agenda

Yes I do. I like consistency personally and I can't be bothered to change my name, plus the expense that potentially goes with it. But i would never seek to force that position on another woman who has made a different choice. Doesn't seem very feminist to me.

People in academia are more educated than the average person.

Some people in academia are. Although often picking apart what some academics know is sometimes quite intriguing. Not in a good way.

It's as if I came to MN and said

'I want to be a Dr but I'm not, so Doctors shouldn't be allowed to use the title'.

Attributing value to education and being a Doctor makes it visible to everyone that some have studied and some haven't, and hence perpetutates inequality.

Let's ban the 'Dr' title and everything will be fine, we will all be equal.

How silly does that sound?

This is such a first world problem.

What's silly is equating a title that reflects an objective achievement and is consistent between men and women, with titles that apply only to women and reflect zero objective achievement whatsoever.

It depends. Educated on what exactly?

Most of the content that many academics and their students are teaching and learning today is likely to be 'debunked' at some point in the (not so distant) future

So someone being an academic is neither here not there really. Some are very intellingent and have learnt a vast and useful body of knowledge. Some haven't