To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

Being published or having a career in academia does not make one more successful, intelligent or educated .

Being close to academia makes one more prone to indoctrination with the latests fads also unfortunatelly.

Because they don't. Its difficult to admit to internalised misogyny. Far easier to label those in favour of equality as loony.

I’m a Ms. Firstly because since DH died I’m no longer married. But also because I increasingly fee that there should be one title for each sex (Mr/Ms) that doesn’t reveal the marital status of the person.

Agree titles are completely unnecessary! I am married and if I have to specify a title I use Ms. Would prefer to leave it blank though.

@thehorsehasnowbolted

Being close to academia makes one more prone to indoctrination with the latests fads also unfortunatelly.

The latest fads as in honorifics for women that denote marital status? Or the latest fads such as, ooh, I don't know, having a good old think about things rather than railing against The Changes?

The counter argument is quite simple.

Let women who want to use the 'Mrs' title, don a wedding and engagement ring do it.

Let women feel proud of having been able to find and retain a good husband as it's frankly hard work (and a bit of luck)

No shame. No dictators

Educating people is A Bad Thing because it makes the susceptible to 'fads"

Is that really what you believe? Things are definitely being broken to me now! 😂

@thehorsehasnowbolted

Let women feel proud of having been able to find and retain a good husband as it's frankly hard work (and a bit of luck)

Good lord.

Being in academia doesn't make one superior to others (and certainly not more intelligent)

I've spent many years in academic environments so I have no problem saying this

What is it about my statement that you do not agree with?

The OP started the thread because she was embarrased by having to disclose that she was single, so there must be some merit to being and staying married (to a good man obviously)

"Let women feel proud of having been able to find and retain a good husband as it's frankly hard work (and a bit of luck)"

Fucking hell 😂

Yeah, stuff education and profession. That just creates faddy activists. In fact let's stop women doing those things all together, then they can really focus their attention and effort on finding and retaining a good man and really earn that proud titled (and if you are lucky a fancy ring to boot!).

I've never really liked being "Miss, not Mrs" for the simple reason that it's not relevant whether I'm married or not but stemmed from a time during which the marital status of a woman was deemed very important, whereas it was not the same for Men. It's a principle thing for me so I just use "Ms" for everything. It's not for "divorced women" as some people think as that further contributes to the "married, not married or was married but got divorced" dialogue, it's the same as "Mr".

You can be educated and married and use 'Mrs'. I don't see the issue really

Not all of them.

It's like having a chat with Mrs Bennet. I'm not sure that there's really much to be said to top that bombshell.

Why don’t we just use Ms for men as well, equalise the whole lot.

Quite often they use both. One for home. One for work.

That really doesn’t follow at all. The OP was embarrassed at having to declare her marital status. The obvious solution is that no marital statuses should ever be declared - just as men don’t declare theirs. There’s no societal merit in being married any more than not being married. (Obviously, there’s lots of benefits legally and financially etc.)

Indeed. The standards certainly have slipped in many areas.

Yeah, let's just all wear Mao suits and shave our heads.

Why do we need titles? Why don't we get rid of names (and surnames even)? Aren't those stigmatising and a tad class-revealing too?

People are free to do as they choose. But with that freedom comes the recognition that its not a feminist choice and indeed perpetuates the patriarchy and inqequality.

I use Ms and I am married. Use Ms 'maiden name' I am not a Miss with issues.

YABVVVU to think Ms is a Miss with issues. This is the interpretation of the anti feminist pushback.

Ms has been around for almost 50 years now.

It is a title designed to be the equivalentoff Mr - one that gives no hint of marital status. It has nothing to do with divorce.

How do women not know this?

I've been Ms since I first started getting my own mail. Only my mother sends me post addressed to Mrs.

Yes. Or increasingly just retaining their own. Studies have that more highly educated women are more likely to do this. This is reflected in my experience in real life too.

The OP was embarrassed at having to declare her marital status.

But why was she embarrased?

I don't see anything wrong with being a single parent, but OP said she was embarrassed for being an umarried parent. She couldn't have the title she wanted (i.e. 'Mrs') so she wanted married women to be unable to use it either