To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

It is considered an achievement by many people (including the OP)

Most of the content that many academics and their students are teaching and learning today is likely to be 'debunked' at some point in the (not so distant) future

Particularly as universities have now moved in to a business model, and run a large number of shit courses for pseudo academics, in order to generate more cash.

I used to use Ms because my marital status is none of my utility company's business. Now I use Mx where possible because I finally realised my gender is also not their business.

Which is why I chose the modifier I did. I'm hoping that 'I caught a man' is no longer considered, objectively, to be an achievement worthy of singling out only for women.

In any case I disagree with your characterisation of OP's motivation - she seemed more concerned with judgement and perceived stigma.

but OP said she was embarrassed for being an umarried parent. She couldn't have the title she wanted (i.e. 'Mrs') so she wanted married women to be unable to use it either

I can't see where OP said this. I can't find that bit in her post.

I feel that nailing one's flag to the Mrs mast to show everyone that you're proud of having been able to find and retain a good husband, like it says something about your worth, is just a bit depressing really.

And this wedding ring thing is not an equivalent, clearly, that's an additional facet of marriage, it's a peice of jewellery worn should either party choose it, it is not comparable.

Personally I wish Ms was the default as the longer people cling to the outdated then the longer perceptions will take to change.

However, ultimately I support freedom of choice.

In terms of freedom of choice, do you think men would appreciate a new and additional honorific that signifies they've been good enough to snag and manage to hang onto a woman? Why might that be appropriate or useful?

This. I work in a nursery and we are all called by our first names. But as soon as they go to school it's the very formal Mrs/Ms/Mr/Miss Surname - why?!

The easiest thing would be to get rid of titles altogether. I don't get why forms insist on them.

Feminism at its essence is the basic belief in equality between the sexes.

If a woman doesn't believe that then its like a turkey voting for Christmas.

There is no freedom of choice - you have to choose a title.

does any married woman really use Ms?

I make an effort to not use any title.

If I am pushed, I will use Ms <maiden name>

I don't accept Mrs <Maiden name>

I actively avoid using DH's family name, except in context, eg if I am joining him in a hotel that he has booked.

Mostly, I am happy to be addressed by my first, my given name.

I cannot imagine any reason for my name to need a title.

I've used Ms since I was 18 as miss sounds a bit Jane Austen and it's nobody's business whether I'm married.

It should also support choice. But it doesn't. Unless it's the right choice. Which is why I would never align myself with feminists.

In the old days it was used by spinsters to hide the face they were single, and rightly or wrongly, people do still make assumptions when they hear it. Entirely coincidental i’m sure, but the women i know who use it have all been a little odd/eccentric/aggressive.

So you don't believe women should be equal to men?

Do you think it should support choice even if a particular choice inhibits equality for other women? I don't.

It is quite silly but I suppose its the belief that if you let children call teachers by their first name they won't respect them enough/lose that degree of difference and place in the hierarchy, but it doesn't cause any issues where I am.

What “old days” would those be, then? You mustn’t know many people, because every woman I know uses Ms, apart from a few very elderly relatives, such as my elderly mum. Most people have been using Ms their whole life. If you are 50 and under, I’d expect everyone to use Ms.

Where I am from teachers are referred to by their first names.

And everyone I know in their 60s goes by Ms as well.

Last time they asked I lied and said my title was Professor. I agree that it's silly and there should be one title that covers Miss/Mrs/Ms

I don't think a woman choosing to call herself Mrs removes any choice or inhibits equality for you, no. I think your position is very authoritarian and that is not a position I align with either. What gives you the right to tell other women how to live their lives?

I have always used Ms and even now I am married I am a Ms and I didnt change my surname either.