To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

[jumpingbean1810]

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

I’m married and I use Ms. I like it, it feels like my own small rebellion.

Also 'proud to be a Miss', 'hate the way Ms sounds' and the eternally classic 'why did you even bother to get married then if you don't want to be Mrs.'

A friend of mine had to argue with the HR department of the firm she works for -a huge international one - when they wanted details of her married name, because she was “obviously” divorced now, because she went by Ms. She’d never been divorced and her name and title had never changed. HR wouldn’t believe it. This was about ten years ago.

The thing is OP, hiding a fact will not make it go away.

That belongs to the 'let's pretend I'm a unicorn/cat/whatever' school of thought, and it's not working out very well for them either, is it?

People will judge regardless, it's up to you how you deal with that

I'm married and also use Ms. I don't have any issues that I'm aware of

How odd and rather childish that you find something so mundane funny. I find it funny anyone would care whether people know they are married or not. But, I accept it's each to their own and don't feel the need to try to belittle and ridicule other people's feelings.

Most women I know use Ms. So I don't know what your issue is with that. And no, being a woman is not a 'gender identity', we need to be able to define ourselves with a title. Goodness knows every other way to define ourselves is being erased, please not take that from us too.

@changer7654 I've never noticed that about the Lloyd George's as we use the files. Blue for female, red for male. That really confuses some colleagues 😀

I absolutely hate using Mrs. It annoys me every single time. I also wish I'd never used my husbands surname. (We are happily married but still!)

It's so outdated and irrelevant to use titles.

🤣 confuses people at my work too.
But seriously have a look at the options - they are next to date of birth for women. Men get a much bigger space to write birthdays in!

Get rid of them, they are pointless. I live in Finland now and personal titles aren't used (except in the military where they use herra and rouva for male and female officers respectively but apparently are considering changing it to a neutral title for both. Oh and in children's books where herra bunny meets rouva mouse or whatever), we just use people's names, no need to indicate marital status or have something "formal" before the last name.

I totally agree with this. The Miss, Mrs, Ms is to determine a woman's marital status. Totally inappropriate today. Just use peoples first and last names.
Miss is for a single lady, Mrs a married one. Ms a divorced one.
It still matters because women are treated differently according to their marital status even today.
Men just get Mr.

I hate titles - they're just pointless. Just call me first name / surname. No need to call me Mrs/Miss/Ms/Mx these days.

Do you? Why?

I agree. I use Ms, but absolutely defend women's right to use Miss, Mrs or whatever they want. No need for the ridicule.

Oh? Thanks for explaining, I've not come across that before!

I'm still not sure why that's a cause of hilarity? Some people are happy to be Mrs, are we not allowed to say so now in response to others saying they don't like it because it's not the done thing to say you like being linked to a man? Is one opinion okay but the other not? I'm absolutely a feminist in so many ways, but I like being linked to my husband. And I am definitely not a possession or a chattel or lesser in some way for being a Mrs! It may be seen to be old fashioned (why?) but it makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I think there is room for both views without either being ridiculed.

Yep same here.

I like being a Mrs. Each to their own.

🙌

Miss = maiden name
Mrs = usually married women change their surname

I like how women have variety. It’s always been Mr for men because they don’t usually change their surname. Just use Ms if you don’t like Miss. I don’t like the awful MX that seems to appear on forms nowadays in an attempt to make everything unisex.

It really isn’t that deep. You’re proud of the fact you got married, good for you. Im allowed to find it amusing that a woman takes pride in doing such a ‘mundane’ thing

I use Ms. I am married. My issue is with the patriarchy! It's the best option I think although I agree we should do away with the others.

Being a Mrs because for women it is considered by society the most elevated status. That and motherhood. Sorry but it is so. You get treated differently. Are more respected. From the workplace to walking along with a pram.

What do you find amusing about it?
Is marriage mundane? I must have missed that memo.

Ms is neutral not a sign of a divorced woman.

Anyone who thinks Ms has issues must struggle with internal misogyny much like being proud to be a Mrs. Funny how men don't display their pride in a similar manner.

Any evidence for this? If anything, I’d say it was the opposite.