Page 11 | To think its time to get rid of personal titles ie. Miss, Mrs, Ms?

jumpingbean1810 · 2023-03-07T06:22:04+00:00

I was ordering something in a shop the other day and the assistant, in her 20s, was putting my details into their system. She said, I hate asking this, I find it so embarrassing but are you Miss, Ms or Mrs? I replied I'm Miss. I was there with my daughter so in that one exchange I'd divulged I was a single, unmarried parent. It's not information the shop needs for me to order a lamp. And if I was a man, they'd be Mr and none the wiser as to marital status. I know I could say Ms but does any married woman really use Ms? So Ms just ends up sounding like a Miss with issues. It got me thinking why do we need personal titles, how often are they really used anyway? Can they not just be scrapped from form filling? With the increasing desire by the younger generation to not even be defined by gender, identifying women by their marital status feels so outdated. It's international women's day tomorrow and in the spirit of embracing equity, isn't it time we abolished women being defined by marital status?

Glame · 07/03/2023 09:20

Firefly2023 · 07/03/2023 08:29

I now use Dr for things like this. I am not a medical doctor, so shouldn't in theory, but started with Amazon buying academic books and now as the question annoys me, for other shops etc where it is completely irrelevant, I use my academic title. I agree that Mr, Mrs, Miss, Ms and Mx are pointless when everyone is known by first names and should be done away with completely.

Quite the opposite, actually. PhDs and professional doctorates are the ‘true’ doctors; GPs only have it as an honorary or courtesy title. You are entitled to use it in all areas of your life.

WiIson · 07/03/2023 09:20

NotAnotherBathBomb · 07/03/2023 09:17

It really isn’t that deep. You’re proud of the fact you got married, good for you. Im allowed to find it amusing that a woman takes pride in doing such a ‘mundane’ thing

Show quote history

I never found getting married a mundane thing. Far from it. It was actually really special. If getting married was so mundane people wouldn't do it would they.

Willyoujustbequiet · 07/03/2023 09:21

Guis23 · 07/03/2023 09:18

Being a Mrs because for women it is considered by society the most elevated status. That and motherhood. Sorry but it is so. You get treated differently. Are more respected. From the workplace to walking along with a pram.

Utter bollocks

thehorsehasnowbolted · 07/03/2023 09:22

Natsku · 07/03/2023 09:09

Get rid of them, they are pointless. I live in Finland now and personal titles aren't used (except in the military where they use herra and rouva for male and female officers respectively but apparently are considering changing it to a neutral title for both. Oh and in children's books where herra bunny meets rouva mouse or whatever), we just use people's names, no need to indicate marital status or have something "formal" before the last name.

Why should we care about what Finland. France, etc. are doing? We are in the UK and have our own traditions and way of doing things. Irritating AF

Seymour5 · 07/03/2023 09:22

As a Mrs for over 50 years, I’m not changing now. I loved the fact that my husband and I shared the same name as our children. It made for simplicity, and in my view was far less pretentious than the double barrelled names that started becoming popular. I wonder when double barrelled marries double barrelled, do they keep all four names? Sorry, I digress.

If I was young now, my views might well be different, so many more people make families without being married. Surely though, its a matter of individual choice?

Cosyblankets · 07/03/2023 09:23

I can never understand why this is such a big issue. We're perfectly happy to call someone they rather than he or she but God forbid any woman who actually wants to be called Mrs or Miss
It's personal choice

RoseFl0wers · 07/03/2023 09:24

daisypond · 07/03/2023 09:20

Any evidence for this? If anything, I’d say it was the opposite.

Show quote history

Unconscious bias. Married women with babies (or pregnant) are looked upon favourably as they are settled in a relationship. I say this as a pregnant unmarried woman (but engaged) who has been in a relationship for nearly 6 years. You read it all the time on Mumsnet. Women on here think a relationship of 2 years - but married - is more stable than a loving unmarried relationship for treble that length of time.

NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 07/03/2023 09:24

Guis23 · 07/03/2023 09:18

Being a Mrs because for women it is considered by society the most elevated status. That and motherhood. Sorry but it is so. You get treated differently. Are more respected. From the workplace to walking along with a pram.

Fuck me, someone has discovered time travel!

JacobsCrackersCheeseFogg · 07/03/2023 09:24

I get called my first name all the time, unless I'm in a health care setting and they refer to me as Mrs (surname). I just say, please no, just use my first name.

Guis23 · 07/03/2023 09:24

Willyoujustbequiet · 07/03/2023 09:21

Utter bollocks

Show quote history

I didn't say I agreed with it. But it is so still in many peoples eyes.
Sorry if it upsets. But not accepting this truth is silly.

NeverApologiseNeverExplain · 07/03/2023 09:25

Seymour5 · 07/03/2023 09:22

As a Mrs for over 50 years, I’m not changing now. I loved the fact that my husband and I shared the same name as our children. It made for simplicity, and in my view was far less pretentious than the double barrelled names that started becoming popular. I wonder when double barrelled marries double barrelled, do they keep all four names? Sorry, I digress.

If I was young now, my views might well be different, so many more people make families without being married. Surely though, its a matter of individual choice?

You're not obliged to use "Mrs" with your husband's name. I use Ms with my married name when I need to have the same name as my DS.

Suzi888 · 07/03/2023 09:25

Isn’t that what MX is for.
Also, mostly names are used now.

I like being Mrs, I don’t want to have to be known as Mx because some people don’t want to be called Miss.

“Generation Z are damm fiesty.” that’s not the word I’d use for them. 😂

Guis23 · 07/03/2023 09:25

RoseFl0wers · 07/03/2023 09:24

Unconscious bias. Married women with babies (or pregnant) are looked upon favourably as they are settled in a relationship. I say this as a pregnant unmarried woman (but engaged) who has been in a relationship for nearly 6 years. You read it all the time on Mumsnet. Women on here think a relationship of 2 years - but married - is more stable than a loving unmarried relationship for treble that length of time.

Show quote history

Thank you. And spot on.

Sallydimebar · 07/03/2023 09:27

I wouldn’t give it a second thought to be honest. I’m married but use Miss /Ms a lot of the time , not changed name at Gps ,hospital ect .

If others want to presume I have issues or a single mum that’s on them .

Willyoujustbequiet · 07/03/2023 09:27

Seymour5 · 07/03/2023 09:22

As a Mrs for over 50 years, I’m not changing now. I loved the fact that my husband and I shared the same name as our children. It made for simplicity, and in my view was far less pretentious than the double barrelled names that started becoming popular. I wonder when double barrelled marries double barrelled, do they keep all four names? Sorry, I digress.

If I was young now, my views might well be different, so many more people make families without being married. Surely though, its a matter of individual choice?

They just pick whatever name they want, hardly difficult to understand.

I don't see double barrelled as pretentious, I actually see it as the sign of a more equal relationship but I kept my own name and gave the kids mine too so never been an issue for me.

Rebel2 · 07/03/2023 09:29

I have to ask and hate it. Usually ask if I can take their title rather than listing everything it could be!

WiIson · 07/03/2023 09:31

I don't think double barrelled names are pretentious either. People can do whatever they want to do, but women denigrating other women's choices on how they choose to describe themselves is a bit shit.

DashboardConfessional · 07/03/2023 09:36

Conkersinautumn · 07/03/2023 08:26

I got into HUGE trouble at work when I sent a letter to a woman as Ms X rather than Mrs X, my boss basically said it was an insult and I had to apologise for 'casting aspersions' (i pointed out we didnt collect that info, we just had first name surname and we werent supposed to use first name and surely its more rude to jump to conclusions to me Ms means you recognise they are an adult, their marital status isnt my business etc). I've used Ms ever since and that boss always refused to use it. She was a good 30 years older than me and seemed to think this was still a necessary 'standard' back in 2006 ish.

Some people are wedded to formal address. I answer the phone at work and clients often say it's Mrs Smith or Ms Brown. I have to ask first name as I can't go and tell my boss that - we've got tens of thousands of clients. Some of them are enormously offended and say "He'll know who I am." Spoiler. He doesn't. Nor does he know who you are if you say "It's Helen."

TheDogsMother · 07/03/2023 09:37

Guis23 · 07/03/2023 09:18

Being a Mrs because for women it is considered by society the most elevated status. That and motherhood. Sorry but it is so. You get treated differently. Are more respected. From the workplace to walking along with a pram.

Seriously ??? Have I just woken up in 1950 ?

IWantToBeACat · 07/03/2023 09:41

NotAnotherBathBomb · 07/03/2023 09:17

It really isn’t that deep. You’re proud of the fact you got married, good for you. Im allowed to find it amusing that a woman takes pride in doing such a ‘mundane’ thing

Show quote history

Who said I'm "proud" of the fact I am married? Stop putting words in my mouth, thank you. I don't think of marriage as some weird achievement to be "proud" of. I am however happy that I was lucky enough to meet someone (who happens to be a man) who I loved enough and who loved me enough to want to link ourselves in marriage and I personally like being Mrs Husband's Surname. I don't judge people who don't want to get married, or don't want to call themselves Mrs, it's none of my business. If they are happy in the way they live their lives and what they call themselves, then I'm happy for them.

I also think that marriage isn't mundane, it's a lovely, wonderful thing. For ME and for those who want to do it. It's also perfectly lovely to NOT do it.

Why do you want to ridicule other women because their view is different to yours?

Yellowdays · 07/03/2023 09:41

You're right OP, it's old fashioned nonsense.

Guis23 · 07/03/2023 09:41

TheDogsMother · 07/03/2023 09:37

Seriously ??? Have I just woken up in 1950 ?

Show quote history

Oh dear. I didn't say I think this way......I was talking about society as a whole. Blimey.

lazycats · 07/03/2023 09:42

Guis23 · 07/03/2023 09:18

Being a Mrs because for women it is considered by society the most elevated status. That and motherhood. Sorry but it is so. You get treated differently. Are more respected. From the workplace to walking along with a pram.

I doubt even you believed this when you wrote it.

Willyoujustbequiet · 07/03/2023 09:42

Guis23 · 07/03/2023 09:24

I didn't say I agreed with it. But it is so still in many peoples eyes.
Sorry if it upsets. But not accepting this truth is silly.

Show quote history

Its silly that you think its true lol.

100 years ago of course but literally no one cares these days. If anyone still holds such misogynistic views they never admit it openly as its akin to racism/homophobia etc..

DashboardConfessional · 07/03/2023 09:42

I have found call centres much easier to deal with since becoming a Mrs because they assume you're older and less likely to take bullshit excuses. Annoying but true.