New job - feeling a bit shocked by something that happened

[bagpuss90]

Sorry me again 🙄I’m semi retired , I started a new part time job today. Everyone was lovely, very helpful and friendly . I’ve no complaints at all. However I overheard some of the staff laughing about one of their colleagues who I gathered was off work with stress and anxiety. Two of them were mimicking their colleague having a panic attack and hyper ventilating. Obviously I don’t know the back story and I’ve obviously never met their colleague - but AIBU to be a bit shocked by this. I’ve suffered panic attacks myself -though thankfully not for years . But I know how debilitating they can be. I just thought it was really cruel and unkind. It’s put me off the job tbh though otherwise I did enjoy the day

If you’ve just started then give the job a chance . You’ve obviously arrived in the middle of a workplace drama but you’ll soon know if it’s a one off or the culture of the office…in which case you can leave ! Good luck.

Christ on a bike @SunshineGeorgie where do you work? Parliament?

Sorry but this really isn’t a ‘shocking’ thing, and if you think it is then you’ve been very sheltered. Mean, yes, but it was behind the person’s back and clearly a nasty little laugh like people do have sometimes. Move on.

Gosh, and that's why I cannot bear human beings!

Normal in toxic, unprofessional and unfriendly workplaces maybe!

Head of HR here and if I saw that I would be sending a written warning. Some people see it as ‘a laugh’, I don’t, and neither does anyone who wants to create a nice, inclusive and attractive place to work.

Depends on your workplace. I've worked in retail and it would be fairly typical and I've worked in office based roles where it would not.
I do remember once working with someone who faked a lot, selective amnesia etc. And I had two different employees go to town on people taking the piss of her. Until they met her. And then they backtracked massively. To this day I don't know had she severe mh issues or was she just a cf to the nth degree.

Not normal in most organisations.

It's really not.

So watching someone mimic a mental health problem and finding it shocking means you've had a sheltered life? So if you saw someone mimicking a colleague with cerebral palsy or something like that, would you say the same?

There's gossip and then there's mimicking someone having a panic attack. That's just so cruel.

Why do you keep referring to people as having a sheltered life for being shocked for seeing this in the workplace? I doubt people have never seen this kind of behaviour IRL, it's the fact that it's in the workplace that's shocking, not the behaviour itself - which is vile, but not either shocking or surprising. In the vast majority of offices this would be a written warning. You can't mock people on grounds of race, gender, religious beliefs, sexual preference or things to do with their health without getting reprimanded, and rightly so. It's not the 80's, so for most people this would be shocking to see in this day and age.

I wonder how many people saying that this is nothing, were as accepting of Donald Trump mimicking the disabled journalist.

It's really rare I'm shocked by someone's behaviour. I can't think of the last time. I've seen some pretty bad things in my life. I might not approve of someone making fun of someone but I wouldn't be shocked.

They weren’t mocking them. They were making a joke sneakily behind their back. Quite different.

Well, yes it does 🤷🏼‍♀️ it’s unkind but not ‘shocking’. Using such extreme language all the time doesn’t ‘set boundaries’ it just waters down things which are genuinely shocking until we can’t differentiate between the two.

It’s like when people say they’re ‘anxious’ when they mean nervous.

There are shades of bad, even if we pretend there isn’t.

They weren’t mocking them. They were making a joke sneakily behind their back. Quite different No, mimicking someone having a panic attack is mocking them, in the sane way it would be mimicking an person with epilepsy having a fit or someone with cerebral palsy's bodily movements.

Well, yes it does 🤷🏼‍♀️ it’s unkind but not ‘shocking’. Using such extreme language all the time doesn’t ‘set boundaries’ it just waters down things which are genuinely shocking until we can’t differentiate between the two It's shocking because it's in the workplace. It f I see somebody pissed taking a shit on the street, I'm going to think - eeww. If I see them pissed at the office party taking a shit outside the from of reception, I'd be shocked. The environment is key here.

*front door by reception

It's shocking, full stop @Moonicorn . Mimicking anyone's condition is absolutely appalling, and while I'm far from a dramatic person, I'd absolutely be shocked to see colleagues or friends do that.

@Ireallycantthinkofagoodone It would be really funny if we'd worked together!
Your colleague didn't try to get another staff member's tiny goldfish in a small aquarium banned due to her 'fish allergy' did she? I told her to avoid licking them and she'd be fine 😂

Discrimination and bullying. Heads would roll in my workplace, rightly so. Can you report to HR?

@Moonicorn you’re wrong to say “sheltered “. if you’re prepared to tolerate or accept people behaving like that in the workplace then you haven’t been educated in diversity and inclusion. It’s not acceptable to make a joke about or do an impression about someone on grounds of their race, sexuality, disability etc, and that includes mental health.

There’s no shades of grey any more. These colleagues weren’t battering the colleague in
question while screaming ableist obscenities, but you would really think they were from this thread. It’s tiresome. I say this as somebody who spent 2 months as a psychiatric inpatient so knows full well what it’s like to have a serious MH condition, before anyone starts. I’m also physically disabled.

I was sectioned when I was younger and suffered serious mental health problems, and I find it unacceptable and shocking in the workplace. Shall we place bingo about who has more right to have an opinion? No, because neither what you or I have gone through is completely irrelevant to the fact that this is a absolutely inappropriate in the workplace. Your views are from decades gone by. Also, the OP said she was a "bit shocked" which you took umbrage at. She didn't say deeply shocked or mortally offended, just a bit shocked, you know - like surprised and offended, which is an appropriate response to this kind of behaviour in the workplace. Not sure what cesspits you've worked in to find this a bit of a joke, but to all of us who've worked in a professional environment with a competent HR department, this isn't anywhere near the norm.