to think that seeing as it’s hard to dispose of a body…

[OxygenthiefexH]

I need to find a better way to manage my ex.

He is horrible.

briefly the 3 SEN teens live with me, he sees them 3 nights a month and he moved over an hour away and expects me to meet half way. He refuses to drive to our town as he says that the local police are in my pocket and I could get him arrested. He said that.

He messes me about constantly by refusing to reply to emails about contact, he pays maintenance but nothing else on our consent order as everything has to be agreed in advance, and he won’t agree to anything because he knows I pay anyway. As I type I’m at a private assessment for adhd as the local wait list is 2 years. He won’t pay for any of it and yet agrees it’s necessary.

The really crux is comms though and the only way to get ANY response is via the kids’ phones, which puts them in an awkward position. So how do I manage comms? For example confirming WHEN he will be at the meeting point for the kids, if he would swap one day so I get them for my birthday etc and vice versa.

what do I do if he won’t reply until the last minute, and even then it’s only via the kids, who are that point are crawling the walls at the uncertainty!

My ex manager keeps pigs. Just saying.

I like your overthinking style. Next time I've got a body to get rid of, I will definitely use this top tip 👍

Sympathies for your situation OP.

On the parenting front I can't offer any further advice.

However, I'm sitting in my shop looking at a selection of wet specimens and taxidermy..... all animal of course......

And I have seen accessories online made of human skin. Apparently it's not illegal with the correct paperwork.

You do need a license to display human parts, like skeletons but not to sell them. (I only know this because I acquired a Victorian medical skeleton and had to research, before anyone rushes to log my post with 101).

Obviously just making general observations here, in the spirit of the prevalent dark humour on this thread.

Anyway, hope you're awkward EX can be sorted amicably in some way.....

Do you live near HS2?

Re the wailing children how do you respond? Give into the wailing or tell them daddy has chosen this not mummy so don't take it out on me?

And yes I'm coming from a place where ds1 absolutely smashed my house up because his dad is a cunt and I punished him for it (he has sen also) after this happened a few times he lost his shit at his dad and I was not sympathetic I think my exact words to my ex were "ahh well" followed by a "never mind" and "I know a good plasterer" 😉

I love pigs but everyone would know it was me

When it comes to contact/meeting up points, perhaps you could just state when and where you will be, tell him you will stay there for 30 minutes and if he doesn't show up, you will return home and he will have to collect them from there. If he objects to the time and place you've suggested he has until X date to respond with another suitable alternative day/date. I would send these dates in a letter by registered post too so you have proof it was received/signed for. Can't beat good old fashioned carrier pigeon!

That way you're taking the power back and don't need him to reply. If he shows, he shows! If he doesn't then it's all on him.

Bury the body on a sandy beach when the tide is out.
Apparently the tides move sand huge distances and will shift stuff around for miles.
All sorts of scavenging wormy mollusc things live on the shoreline and eat absolutely anything. Fish will deal with any big chunks. Job done.

To be fair OP asked for ways to deal with a combative ex not how to dispose of a body

Being in a taxi as a kid is great fun. Though I never went in one without a parent.

OP did you ever watch the film Shallow Grave? Dated now but they had to get rid of a body of a unwanted house mate. Luckily one of them worked in a hospital which with a furnace that cremated things.....

The taxi driver is one of the dads from school, I know him. And when he was ill the other week he sent another driver, with a limo! The kids were beside themselves!

Sleeping with the fishes or in an old quarry lake?

I live in north Solihull and that made me giggle so much

you can use a co parenting app for comms. it keeps it all polite as it is monitored. family court recommended wizard but that does have a fee. there are some free ones.

Maybe women are just better at covering their tracks and we just assume the man has gone away. I think I'd plan more than DH so he might get caught more easily, although thinking about it as a retired police officer who did his time as a detective he might know more tricks than I do. Might be safer to just put up with each other.

Great idea.

Sorry OP.

That all sounds bloody awful. But you did make me laugh with your title and opening sentence.

Thank you!!!! Some of us just needed that!

not how to dispose of a body

Still good to know, though.

As a back up plan.

Damn! Your kids got lucky.

And no wonder he had a problem with it.

You got another man with no relationship to "his" children and no reason to do it, to do something he can't be bothered to do.

The meeting half way isn’t working - he won’t communicate and is unreasonable eg won’t wait 7 mins.
The children are being impacted.
He moved so he should do pick up.
I’d really be tempted to spend some money get a some legal advice and a letter to him.
Perhaps propose you will do one drop off and pick up a month and him do 2. Then kids will at least see him once a month.
There are communication apps you can use just for communication re children.
I would contact him via work in preference to via a child.
Keep a log. Couch everything in terms of children eg they were upset.
How old are the children?

Although I'm someone who massively prefers flexible arrangements usually I think I'd go for something fixed, and ensure he is doing school pick up. so long as he is picking up from you he will always take pleasure in ruining your plans.

Wrap it in chicken wire first. You don't want bits to float away and get washed up where they could be found.

There is that, @ancientgran

Could explain the overall crime statistics too. Women make sure they aren't caught. 😎

Re green area, it’s alway greener where there is a septic tank filter bed so bury body there and no one will think twice.

I’d really be tempted to spend some money get a some legal advice and a letter to him.

I'd try this and some of the more hand off methods like google calendar or co parenting app pp mention.

It is hard though as DSis ex pull stunts like these - he'd also involve our parents so they felt they could never do anything just in case DN was dumped on their doorstep or pulled a stunt so Dsis was in a mess.

Time was only real way got got better - DN hit secondary and hated being messed around and the next DP and next kids left so he had someone new to dick around and Dsis had new DP who took no shit from ex.

If you are in the wilds - no near neighbors chest freezer- wood chipper and fast flowing river - case in I think USA or Canada only caught the guy because he had no reason for wood chipper and didn't clean it well enough afterwards or the freezer so found some evidence.

Good idea about the beach as I was going to say surely the pigs would just poop the teeth and other bone fragments out. mind you on second thoughts maybe the beach not such a good idea. Imagine some child building a sandcastle on the beach and using an arm or leg bone as the flag post on top of their sand castle!!