Has anyone ever snuck out in the morning

[shade78]

I'm dreading it already, I do everything for everyone in the morning. I even fetch clothes for the children to dress under the covers and run back and forth with a toothbrush while they sit on the sofa. I get nothing but terse crap off my husband and it feels like we are always on the edge of a row. Kids snap back at me when asked to do something basic and can spend 40 mins lying in bed while the clock ticks down and I'm so stressed I can barely hold it in. It is truly awful and I hate it after 5 years we have still not got it together in the morning. I always start with a happy good morning to everyone and I'm just run down after hours of this crap. AIBU to just get up and go to work, I'm sure they would all wake up at 9.30 with an ohh shit moment. Has anyone done this? Thank you I'm desperate.

Fair enough, but not sat on the sofa!

YABU My god, will you still be doing this when they’re 30?! They need to get themselves up. A good 3 or 4 years ago, no wonder you want to run away, I’m genuinely surprised at how you’ve got this far

We parent our kids to make them into great adults. If your kids are not getting up and getting themselves dressed then what are they learning?
I’m obvs not perfect but my kids (16 & 9) get out of bed, get washed/showered and dressed, then go downstairs within about 15/20 mins and get themselves breakfast. It’s been the same for years, since they were about 6 they’ve done it by themselves. Not necessarily alone, but it’s them doing it. They are autonomous and just get on with it, because they know there’s not an option.
Perhaps you could discuss this with your dc, and between you come up with expectations and a loose schedule that they need to follow. Sorry to say it but you are making a rod for your own back.

There are some great charts you can buy online (or print out yourself for free). They must complete all the steps to get e.g. the WiFi password for the day/their favourite dinner/TV time

We had to leave the house at 7.30 or so when dd was that age. Clothes laid out night before, she was expected to be down for breakfast just after 7 and dressed at that age. You need to sort yourselves out.

Yeah bollocks to that I’d be out the door without a backward glance

My mum used to put the big light on and pull the duvet off😂 blinded and frozen at 7am wakes you up a treat!

Bloody hell, why did you even start this racket. Walk out the door tomorrow morning and let them all get on with it. Then have a bloody good word with yourself about being a doormat

Utter madness. They’ll soon learn to get themselves motivated when they are late for school and have to explain why!!! I’m amazed these days how parents meekly allow their children to disrespect them - as if they are actually frightened of their own kids! You are not doing your children any favours be allowing them to behave in this way.

Does the bus wait, just in case you are a minute late, or the train at the train station?
Make it really clear you are now running to a train timetable and will leave at exactly the time stipulated.

I left my student the other day, as she was not in the car park two mins from her house at the agreed time. I used my phone for timing, not my unreliable car clock, I waited five mins, but we had an appointment to get to so I left to make the client appointment and she had to explain to her supervisor why she didn’t get to do anything that morning.
is this what you want for your kids ?

At that age mine were herding me out the door like sheepdogs. I stopped with clothes as soon as they could dress themselves. We're in France and the sanctions for being late are pretty severe even at kindergarten.

In your shoes I'd just say from tomorrow you're on your own. If you're late you'll have to suck up the consequences.

I couldn’t as I’m a single parent. TBH my youngest is fine and gets up and sorted herself. She’s 10. My autistic teen is a different kettle of fish and needs shouting from the minute I get up. She does get left 2 days a week to get out to school when I’m at work. I insist she’s out of bed when I leave at 7:15 with the 10 year old who I drop at wrap around. She’s never had any lates or anything on her record at school. But the days I’m home in a morning I’m still shouting for her to get dressed 10 minutes after she should have left resulting in me having to give her a lift.

My kids must have been absolute stars. I never did any of this nonsense. They'd get themselves up and often one of them would even bring me a cup of tea! I had six of them.

At 9 and 10 they can have an alarm so when you go in they are awake and getting up. At that age I think it’s reasonable to get school clothes out for them night before (or they do it but uou check it’s done; underwear can get themselves). Brush teeth in bathroom, I would have put cereal and milk and bowls on table so they can help themselves. We have bread in freezer for toast. My kids have gone to school in past without breakfast as running late. Maybe link to pocket money. Why is your DH not helping?

I’m going to bed a happy woman tonight. I’d been beating myself up today that I do too much for my DS10 and spoil him. Turns out I’m an absolute bitch of a mother for not running to his room with his toothbrush every morning!!

Yes but this can be done by standing next to them at the bathroom sink, them having used their little legs to walk there themselves.

Haha my dentist told me I should still be supervising my teen. But I draw a line at her doing it on the sofa. I don’t supervise their teeth to be honest. I rebelled against the dentist on that one.

I had this mine so had it pre arranged with the teacher and dragged them to school in their pyjamas, from then on it was a breeze.

DC4 is 11, DC3 is 16, DC2 is 22 and works a later shift (pm) DC1 is 26 and lives away. I work from 7am until 2.30pm.
The night before, everyone gets their own uniform ready and laid out, packed lunches are done and bags packed. In the morning, I leave at 6am. DC2 gets a wake up call at 7.30am, then it is up to them DC2 will wake up DC3 and DC4 and make sure DC4 is ready and gets to school.
OP your DC are copying your DH. If he doesn't treat you with respect, they won't 💐

Wtf are you doing this for? If your DH is there I'd say you have to work early and he's responsible for getting them up and ready for the week. The entire mental load too. Do they have their lunches, PE kits, whole shebang. He can learn how much there is. Then you need to tackle the children as a united front. They're 10 not 10 months.

How are you OP?

Mornings is where I do most of my swearing 😂 my 12 year old has ASD and tough love is needed in the morning or he’d never get a move on, it always is centred around shoes 😂

At this age they dress them selves wash their faces and hands and brush their own teeth
they could also help with getting their breakfast out eating and clearing up
they are treating you like a Servant because you let them !!!!!!
draw up a schedule of times they need to get up dressed eat teeth cleaned and out the door
you don’t say if you need to drop them off or not as this obviously adds to the stress
but seriously stop being a doormat
as for the husband
he can help too grumpy sod

I know it is easy to get caught in a routine but you are enabling this. Tell them they have to get out of bed and get dressed and brush their teeth. If they don't do it say you have to leave early and just go. I got a rude awakening when my oldest twins were 8 one of their teachers said to me "you need to let them pack their lunches themselves. They are perfectly capable of it." If I hadn't had that wake up call I would probably still be making their lunches for their jobs! :)

This! And your DH needs to pull his finger out, too!