Has anyone ever snuck out in the morning

[shade78]

I'm dreading it already, I do everything for everyone in the morning. I even fetch clothes for the children to dress under the covers and run back and forth with a toothbrush while they sit on the sofa. I get nothing but terse crap off my husband and it feels like we are always on the edge of a row. Kids snap back at me when asked to do something basic and can spend 40 mins lying in bed while the clock ticks down and I'm so stressed I can barely hold it in. It is truly awful and I hate it after 5 years we have still not got it together in the morning. I always start with a happy good morning to everyone and I'm just run down after hours of this crap. AIBU to just get up and go to work, I'm sure they would all wake up at 9.30 with an ohh shit moment. Has anyone done this? Thank you I'm desperate.

How did it go this morning?

I've heard a lot of people saying this about very young DC but my dentist has told me children should be assisted with tooth brushing until around 8 year old

This thread is giving me a flashback to when my daughter was 5 or 6 or thereabout and I used to get her dressed in the morning while she was still asleep (she would sleep through it all as well!) because she was not a morning person and it took forever to wake her up and get her to dress herself. Can't believe I used to do that!

Agree, young children should not be brushing their teeth themselves, they cannot do a thorough enough job of it

Confession - my just turned 5 year old started school this September and this has happened a couple of times, even getting 11 hours of good sleep he was just wiped out!! The 7 year old is completely independent though thank goodness!

Yabvu- you cant just opt out of parenting.

There is clearly a lot of shit going on but there is a middle ground which is parenting and not pandering.

I was an evil mother - I used to remove the duvets from the beds and put them in my room if mine refused to get up! It was really only the eldest who hated being up early (still hates it now at 27!) so he 'suffered' the most but says he doesn't remember me doing it

Sadly you have been too kind and they see you now as a doormat, and are treating you as such. ☹️

Maybe get them to lay their stuff out at night, also prep the packed lunches the night before, put boxes of cereal and milk on the table, then leave them to it!

Your kids are so lucky to have you but they've taken advantage of that now and have become privileged (whoever came up with that description is so spot on).

I would tell them that's what you're going to do and let them get on with it.

Yoyr DH sounds lovely (not). He is also taking advantage of you and this is why many marriages then break down, when the woman (in the main but not always, men can be subservient/ overly kind too) becomes assertive and D other half can't cope with it.

Just saying this in fair warning....!

Good luck, OP. I too find myself in this situation with my now adult kids - I over compensated when their dad died - and now, well, I suspect I may have to work into my 70's if I don't give them some reality time about £££.

If it helps, as a child my mum was like this for me and my siblings and I ABSOLUTELY will not be doing it for my own children. I work with children full time and it is soo important to teach independence. By all means give some support, but the more you give the more they will expect.

‘From now on there will be no TV until you’ve got yourselves dressed, brushed, fed, bags packed and hair brushed.’

They are capable of getting dressed, brushed and of making their own breakfast at this age.

Just leave Them to it. You are not their support animal.

I mean you wouldn’t but you’re a big part of the problem.

Wtf. Why are they brushing their teeth on the sofa and getting dressed in bed.

They're treating you like an absolute fucking mug because you're acting like one. Tell them it ends now and parent them ffs.

I’ve never snuck out but I’ve just left DH and DC sleeping while I’ve just got myself up and ready for work because I was sick of it being all my responsibility to make sure the three of us have got up, ready and out of the house on time. This was after lots of earnest promises from DH to be up on time instead of relying on the fact that I’d get up and make everyone breakfast/coffee and then he’d push his luck lying in bed with his coffee until the last possible minute then spend a leisurely 20 mins on the loo while I tried to get myself and a child ready. The message was received loud and clear after this and he pulls his weight a lot more

Is this a joke thread??

Even if its not. You need a morning list. I have one. The kids are not allowed to watch TV/have phones till the list is done. Anything they don't do is entirely their own fault.

1. Get up
2. Use toilet
3. Wash hands, face and brush teeth.
4. Make bed and fold pj's, tidy room
5. Get dressed
6. Do hair or ask for help doing hard.
7. Check bag is ready-
8. Add lunch.box, water bottle to bag.
9. Ask about weather and out gloves, scarfs etc in bag or to the side tm be worn.

10. Eat breakfast. 11. Wash face after breakfast 12. If all the above is done have TV/phone time until ready to leave at 8.30.

That's it. Sounds loads but putrally takes less than 20 minutes.

I totally relate. It's so horrible in the morning in my house too. I am Mum to autistic boys though. I'm the only one who cares though DH doesn't care.

If you stop now they will be late for school tomorrow. Explain tonight that they are no longer to be treated like babies. Don't most kids need a shower or at least a wash before school? I'm astounded you're being treated like a skivy by your entire family.

My DS needs to be in the car before 0800. If he is late then I deduct £1 off his weekly pocket money (and he only gets £2-4 per week dependant on chores).
It certainly motivates him to be on time 😀

While they sit on the sofa? Doing what? Are they watching telly? Because if they are, honestly, take some control of this situation. Nothing with a screen goes on until they are ready to go to school.

I do really sympathise by the way so I'm not trying to sound harsh. But you're the parent here, you need to assert that.

I actually can’t believe what I’ve just read, I thought my partner was bad feeding his 8/9year old breakfast by the spoon and brushing his teeth for him aswell as getting him dressed so he could play his game and not make a mess with the food!! You’ve made a rod for your own back and this sounds like such a wind up but come off it. You’ve stressed yourself out setting this routine up and now it’s time to tell them no not anymore. I can’t believe some people/parents.

you’ve got to stop babying them. Simple as that

I think for us all here that are a bit WTF, we need to know why you are bringing clothes, why kids get dressed under the covers and why they are brushing their teeth on the sofa. That'll give us a better insight to comment

You also shouldn’t have to sneak out the house to do that. that’s ridiculous. this has weirded me out. I’d tell them at bedtime tonight from tomorrow that all changes.

This has been a good read for me. Very similar situation here but we sort of ‘fell into it’ as my eldest has special needs and does need a lot of help in the mornings. Therefore my youngest came to expect it. The youngest also is very reluctant to go to school so there is very little motivation.

We need to put some of the things into place that you have all mentioned.