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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I can WFH 9-5 in the holidays with my kids at home

394 replies

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/03/2023 13:38

I recently started a new job where I’m based at home full time. Was a bit nervous at first not going into an office as I’ve only ever had office based roles but I’ve found a good rhythm and routine and we meet in big city once a month so I’m happy with that.

I was off through February half term but I don’t want to use all my holidays too soon. Obviously Easter holidays are coming up. My kids are 6&9. Holiday clubs not only cost a fortune but the kids absolutely hate going to them. I can get family childcare for a couple of days and DH can take a couple of days off bit WIBU to keep them at home while I work? They’re old enough to entertain themselves i’d just need to make their lunch and check they’re still alive.

For context - I know people at my new work who WFH on half days with their 1yo babies there. One of them was late to a meeting the other day because the health visitor was round!

OP posts:
Original poster
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/03/2023 20:36

HiccupHorrendousHaddock · 05/03/2023 17:08

By walking to the park or the library, playing games, interacting with them, etc.

Not by keeping them indoors with nothing to do and no one to play with because you don't have childcare.

When they're over 10 I think it's fine to WFH without childcare. A 6 year old - no way. They can't spend several days glued to the telly with a packed lunch.

Do you have other WFH friends? If you combine your hours into 4 days rather than 5, could you take their kids in return for them having yours on one of your working days?

Show quote history

Why would my kids have nothing to do in our home? We’ve stayed in all day today as it’s freezing here and no one could be bothered going out.

Theyve played with each other, crafted, played board games, watched movies.

Why do people on MN pretend that nothing can or should be done with kids indoors 🙄

OP posts:
Original poster
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/03/2023 20:38

caringcarer · 05/03/2023 17:17

No it is not on. Are you a Civil Servant by any chance?

No

OP posts:
Riverlee · 05/03/2023 20:38

“If they will entertain themselves then I don't see why not. I do. It doesn't impact on my work.”

And what if they don’t entertain themselves, what happens then?

WiIson · 05/03/2023 21:05

Riverlee · 05/03/2023 20:38

“If they will entertain themselves then I don't see why not. I do. It doesn't impact on my work.”

And what if they don’t entertain themselves, what happens then?

I go and see to them and then get back to my work. Obviously.

WiIson · 05/03/2023 21:11

Why do people on MN pretend that nothing can or should be done with kids indoors

Fuck knows.

Riverlee · 05/03/2023 21:20

So you’re assuming they’ll settle back to occupying themselves straight away. Most six year olds need constant supervision, rather than a quick check.

WiIson · 05/03/2023 21:22

Riverlee · 05/03/2023 21:20

So you’re assuming they’ll settle back to occupying themselves straight away. Most six year olds need constant supervision, rather than a quick check.

I think I know my kids and my family set up better than you do.

InstagramBitchWife · 05/03/2023 21:28

You'd be sacked in my industry.

You absolutely can't WFH while looking after a small child.

WiIson · 05/03/2023 21:29

InstagramBitchWife · 05/03/2023 21:28

You'd be sacked in my industry.

You absolutely can't WFH while looking after a small child.

I can. Clearly you can't. In which case, you'll need to pay for childcare.

fastandthecurious1 · 05/03/2023 21:30

No not feasible I have a 5 yr old son and I WFH 4 days a week, I was lucky enough to be at home during recent strike days and I told my employer he would be around if that was ok as I had no other option other than a holiday club which I wasn't comfortable putting him in just yet.

It was fine and he's happy colouring/ watching a movie, eating and playing without constant attention but you are way more distracted and aware of them so it wouldn't be fair to your job to be picking up majority of care for 2 weeks. Maybe have them at home two days a week with you and help the rest?

GyozaGuiting · 05/03/2023 21:31

It doesn't work and you'll be a shit employee, sorry op- get something else in place (I say this as someone who tried to do this).

Original poster
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/03/2023 21:49

BentleyRhythmAce · 05/03/2023 17:40

Yes, this. When you took the job what did you have planned? People always think no one notices or cares when they're looking after their kids when they ought to be working. We do notice, and we do care, and it does piss us off.

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Just carrying in what we do now - part annual leave, part holiday club, part family/child swap.

But it’s a chance to save money with very little impact.

Not sure how anyone would know someone has kids at home or not - unless they are popping up in Teams to say hello.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/03/2023 21:50

Flamingogirl08 · 05/03/2023 17:41

Some people have, others have OP responsible for women not getting jobs in the future and nobody wanting to be a doctor 🤣. I think there was even mention of being sued. Absolutely hilarious

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Lol.

MN hasn’t yet realised that post lockdown there’s so many different ways to do a job and the formulaic office 9-5 is starting to become old fashioned and undesirable for both employers and employees.

OP posts:
Owlatnight · 05/03/2023 22:01

Actually I found teenagers more difficult to work around than age 6 or 9. If I wanted to take a day off they would suddenly announce they were off with friends or had lost interest in an outing. And on the other hand would time crises for days I was trying to work.

WiIson · 05/03/2023 22:02

MN hasn’t yet realised that post lockdown there’s so many different ways to do a job and the formulaic office 9-5 is starting to become old fashioned and undesirable for both employers and employees.

Yep

twix23 · 05/03/2023 22:03

WiIson · 05/03/2023 22:02

MN hasn’t yet realised that post lockdown there’s so many different ways to do a job and the formulaic office 9-5 is starting to become old fashioned and undesirable for both employers and employees.

Yep

Amen to this

SimplySipping · 05/03/2023 22:05

Why bother asking though when you've already decided? As long your new boss and new colleagues are in the 25% who agree with you, you're fine.

Original poster
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/03/2023 22:12

spelunky · 05/03/2023 17:46

Right. But your mum was just in the house and available if there was an emergency. In this situation, mum is contractually obliged to be working and does not have permission from the employer to also be committed to childcare during that time. She's not available to the children. There's a difference.

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Yes because of the house was on fire I’d just sit there saying “sorry kids I’ve got to work. Boss says so” 🙄I imagine same rules apply than if you were in the office and got a call saying there’s an emergency. You’d be allowed to go and deal with it

OP posts:
Original poster
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/03/2023 22:15

Chocadore · 05/03/2023 18:31

OP: AIBU?

Vast majority of responses: Yes, YABU

OP: never mind, I'll just ignore all the negative posts and do it anyway Hmm

<Peers at thread> please do point out where I’ve said that? Go on.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/03/2023 22:18

Riverlee · 05/03/2023 21:20

So you’re assuming they’ll settle back to occupying themselves straight away. Most six year olds need constant supervision, rather than a quick check.

I must have a very different 6yo to everyone else. He definitely doesn’t need constant supervision. He will play in his room (normally with his sister) for hours without my needing to flap around.

I go up and stick my head round the door often enough (usually when it’s eerily quiet and I imagine he’s painting ont he carpet or something 🤣)

OP posts:
Original poster
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/03/2023 22:18

InstagramBitchWife · 05/03/2023 21:28

You'd be sacked in my industry.

You absolutely can't WFH while looking after a small child.

We probably work in a different industry given my colleague WFH with her 1yo there and it seemingly isn’t frowned upon.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/03/2023 22:21

As an aside, my kids are in after school club twice a week and DH picks them up the other 3 days. Meaning 3 days a week they’re back by 4pm and in the house while I work til 5pm. They never bother me beyond coming in to say hello. When people say they have to sign contracts that they can’t have kids in the house when working does this include when they have an OH/other person to watch them?

OP posts:
Original poster
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/03/2023 22:25

SimplySipping · 05/03/2023 22:05

Why bother asking though when you've already decided? As long your new boss and new colleagues are in the 25% who agree with you, you're fine.

Who said I decided?

plan for Easter is
2 x days annual leave
2 x days BH
2 x days OH taking time off
2 x days family care
2 x days ‘agile’ working (half days in the morning then the rest of my hours in the evening - will check with my boss this is OK) with the kids at home with strict instructions to leave me alone.

OP posts:
feeona123 · 05/03/2023 22:34

Mine are 8 and 7 and are able to entertain themselves for a day….they don’t move…sit on the ipad all day! My husband and I usually stagger lunches to sit with them but they are mostly fine.

I do 2 longer days and 2 shorter days and they usually do holiday club on the longer days and have 2 days at home.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 05/03/2023 22:52

I agree with many PPs - the odd day or half day is fine, but no more. 6 is too young for this really. My Ds was 6 during 2020 and I have a job that could not be furloughed - the whole thing nearly killed me!

Still now while he’s 9 I hate it if I have to work with him at home - I have another one who’s a teen so that’s different - but it’s just not good with primary school kids. I don’t think kids should get used to being ignore all day in the holidays - it’s a different kind of having to entertain themselves than if you were, say, cooking or doing housework as you can’t chat to them whilst doing it.