To think I can WFH 9-5 in the holidays with my kids at home

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

I recently started a new job where I’m based at home full time. Was a bit nervous at first not going into an office as I’ve only ever had office based roles but I’ve found a good rhythm and routine and we meet in big city once a month so I’m happy with that.

I was off through February half term but I don’t want to use all my holidays too soon. Obviously Easter holidays are coming up. My kids are 6&9. Holiday clubs not only cost a fortune but the kids absolutely hate going to them. I can get family childcare for a couple of days and DH can take a couple of days off bit WIBU to keep them at home while I work? They’re old enough to entertain themselves i’d just need to make their lunch and check they’re still alive.

For context - I know people at my new work who WFH on half days with their 1yo babies there. One of them was late to a meeting the other day because the health visitor was round!

Name calling? Ok hun. How is pointing out bitterness name calling?

Some people have, others have OP responsible for women not getting jobs in the future and nobody wanting to be a doctor 🤣. I think there was even mention of being sued. Absolutely hilarious

Mine are now 8 and above and I can just about get away with it in an emergency now I've moved to a lower stress job. It still wouldn't technically be allowed but could be done if in a pinch. Half a day is different when you refer to your colleague. I would consider it for 1 day in the hols as a screen/toys and lazy day for mine but I wouldn't do more than that, its a pretty crap deal for the kids particularly if young as 6. Mine happily would spend a day playing lego together but I think its important to do something else too.

Childcare is not a reason to WFH under our flexible working policy. (Unless agreed in extenuating circumstances).

I would say it’s absolutely fine OP. It’s not going to scar them mentally by having a few days where they actually have to entertain themselves. In days gone by (pre technology etc) we kids were pretty much left to our own devices. There were no soft play areas, kids activities, sports clubs etc etc. I remember at a young age being pushed into the garden in my wellies to just play whilst mum spent most of her day doing house stuff. There’s so much kids can do these days in respect of keeping themselves entertained. A 6 year old can play on devices, watch TV, do arts and crafts on the kitchen table, draw, play make believe games, play with older sibling. They will be fine.

Ok. I can see where this is going. I'm not up for a slanging match.
All the best.
And good luck to everyone avoiding childcare costs.

People are just too much! There was so much pretentious of going to the office.. So many coffee talks, what did you do on weekend, lunch talks and stuff like that. Isn’t that wasting time?!?! Get so much more done at home.

My point is childcare should be cheaper that’s all. But cost of living crisis, childcare fees and everything going up. This is what people are going to do. It’s not just women doing it, many men are. One colleague (man) of mine does drop off and pick ups everyday.

Life is hard and expensive, people are just trying to cut corners to save money.

Right. But your mum was just in the house and available if there was an emergency. In this situation, mum is contractually obliged to be working and does not have permission from the employer to also be committed to childcare during that time. She's not available to the children. There's a difference.

Interesting views on both sides here! I work a high pressure role with multiple video calls, sometimes up to five hours a day - my youngest is 5 and eldest 11. My working day starts early so ends at 3pm and hubs is till 5:30pm.

Honestly working while the kids are home is very child and space dependent. When we lived in a smaller house, it was super stressful to make calls. And I’ve seen other kids their age who are naturally noisier and more active - my sister’s kids are the same age and they are screaming at each other and jumping off sofas while she’s on calls so she just won’t/ can’t work while they’re home. Mine are a little more quiet as one loves coding and legos and the other loves artsy stuff so they can be in their creative modes most of the morning, or playing in the garden, and not interrupt too much. They don’t walk in if they see either of us with headphones on and my eldest will commando crawl on the floor and place a note on my desk if I’m on a call (usually: ‘can we have icecream????’). We stagger our lunch hours so one person can take the kids for a bike ride and the other can sort out lunch once they’re back inside.

That said, it gets very unfair on them because a few days in, the boredom inevitably sets in, and they’ll start arguing like feral cats (iykwim) so I always book a day off each week and usually longer chunks for longer holidays (a week in April, two in the summer etc). That, and a spread of some holiday clubs for some days, and some days of plain boredom, seems to work for my kids. You’re the best judge of whether your work is effected by them being home - but be honest to yourself about your stress levels too!

Odd day yes, school holidays no.
i wfh full time but mine are 13-16. I couldn’t have when they were younger.

"I am being paid to be 100% available to my employer during my working hours, is it OK if I'm actually not 100% available to them because I want to have my kids at home because it's more convenient and cheaper for me"

Umm, no. It's not OK. You should be being paid less because you will be working less.

I think there is a balance. The chance to wfh has been amazing in creating a bit more flexibility but I do see more and more companies bringing things back. My husband’s company are about to say 80% minimum office because they have seen a drop in productivity.

Personally I am really productive at home- probably more than in the office as I don’t want to burn bridges or take the piss. I’ve really valued being able to wfh on the odd occasion where sickness has been an issue or to facilitate different holiday clubs. I work hard and often pick up things out of hours or weekends so I am reliable and trusted. However, I know very well that you can’t do a proper full day of work with a toddler to the same standard as if they weren’t there and that isn’t fair on an employer as a permanent thing. Older children are very different as they are much more self sufficient and can learn not to disturb calls, get themselves snacks etc. my 6yo is less likely to disturb me than my colleagues- my 3 yo is much more unpredictable.

I think the key thing is the honesty. Are you hiding the fact you have children around while you work from your employer or are you upfront about it.

If you aren't being honest it could cost you your job.

I’m sick of reading all these ‘I wfh and can’t afford childcare’ posts, it’s getting ridiculous, how do these people think nurses, doctors, police, train drivers etc do it, they haven’t got the excuse of ‘it’s the new way’ ‘ I work better from home’ etc etc …get back in the real world or stay at home and look after your kids. Bloody big cop out wfh has turned out to be!

Whats ridiculous is you getting so worked up about this. 😅

OP: AIBU?

Vast majority of responses: Yes, YABU

OP: never mind, I'll just ignore all the negative posts and do it anyway

Thrown is right. So many people doing much less than before, doing school runs, washing, ironing, and carrying out other household tasks indicates that less work will be done overall. You wouldn’t get your ironing board out in the office or dashing out to do the school run.

I worked with a number of government depts over the years as a major supplier and productivity was never great. Now it’s probably in the toilet because no one is seeing what people are actually doing WFH. I am not taking about call centres but say the Passport Service for example. How are passports being processed if a number of employees are WFH? Is sensitive data being passed to people working from their spare rooms?

Taking care of children is a full time job , as is a paid full time job . You cannot do both at the same time .

You can do both poorly , or one of them well. If you take any pride in your work , you’ll realise this is not possible.

If they will entertain themselves then I don't see why not. I do. It doesn't impact on my work.

Hi OP. I am currently WFH and this is how I work my schedule, as an example, during say, half term:

Mon- DH usual day off
Tues- camp of some sort
Wed- granny day
Thur- chill out day at home while I work
Fri- my day off which we spend together

Like any job you will need to be available for work through the day. My boss is eager to support the balance and cost of childcare but I wouldn't take the mick. And on the day we are all at home together while I work, I am up at 5, work til 8, meetings start at 9.30, work until lunch then have a chunk of time off in the day together to do park/walk/treat, then work again 3-5.

It is about balance. The more you are all at home together the harder it is. You will figure it out though. It is completely unattainable for more than 2 days to WFH with kids in tow, unless they are teens and capable ones at that.

During the holidays I will work 8 til 2 then late lunch. They're all teens but good to have things to do in the afternoon. Swimming, mountain walk or whatever.

Like to hear your bosses take on this !

They're fine with it.