To think I can WFH 9-5 in the holidays with my kids at home

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

I recently started a new job where I’m based at home full time. Was a bit nervous at first not going into an office as I’ve only ever had office based roles but I’ve found a good rhythm and routine and we meet in big city once a month so I’m happy with that.

I was off through February half term but I don’t want to use all my holidays too soon. Obviously Easter holidays are coming up. My kids are 6&9. Holiday clubs not only cost a fortune but the kids absolutely hate going to them. I can get family childcare for a couple of days and DH can take a couple of days off bit WIBU to keep them at home while I work? They’re old enough to entertain themselves i’d just need to make their lunch and check they’re still alive.

For context - I know people at my new work who WFH on half days with their 1yo babies there. One of them was late to a meeting the other day because the health visitor was round!

No. What's starting to seem undesirable is employing women of childbearing age, or with primary aged children.

If I were employing people, I'd be very, very reluctant to hire someone (either a mother or a father, in fact) who wants to WFH because I'd suspect they're actually going to have their children inadequately supervised during the school holidays. I'd want to see that they were actually doing their jobs, so I'd want them in the office.

Well it's a good job you're not employing people then isn't it? Times are changing and the fact is this is how it's going. Stamping your feet and stating tired old rhetoric about what you think is desirable isn't going to change that.

No. What's starting to seem undesirable is employing women of childbearing age, or with primary aged children.

Because employers were so keen before now 🙄🙄

My workplace doesn’t have an office. Anywhere. HTH.

If your hours can be flexible then I'd do them in the evening or whatever personally than trying to work with children home. Not fair on them or your work really!

What would constitute an emergency when you are in an office is quite a lot different to what it would take for your kids to drag you away from your work if you were the sole carer for them at home.

These two things are not compatible and you are simply taking the piss if you think they are.

He is six. He needs a parent to be available constantly. Doing anything else is completely irresponsible. When you are WFH you are not 'available' for childcare.

It’s sad how many of our DCs’ friends are being left to watch endless ipad!! Both infant school age. We use a mix of clubs and a nanny and it costs an absolute fortune, but at least there’s supervision and stimulation.

On a few occasions I’ve tried to wfh with a child in the house and it’s massively disruptive for work, as well as incredibly boring for DC.

I teach but I still book DC’s into some holiday activities. They’re in school building for so long (term time they go to breakfast and after school club) so weekends and holidays are about getting out and having as much fresh air and activity as possible. I know some PP have said their children are happy just being at home all day, day after day how can that be so? Where’s the physical activity that is not only beneficial for physics health but also mental?

So what if you are on a Teams call and said child starts fighting with sibling or is upset in one way or another? It’s terribly unprofessional to have others in the company hear and put up with that.

you will have to leave the call unless of course you ignore it.

Yabu. Your employer paying you to work. You can't look after your DC too. Near us there's churches doing clubs admittedly limited hours 10-2 but it's free and they do a lunch too. Maybe something in your area. If not DC school might be offering clubs as I know my DD one is.

We do not allow staff to work from home whilst also being in some charge of under 10 year olds. There is no way you can be properly focused on your work whilst maintaining appropriate care of young children. It’s not fair in either the children or work.

I think most employers are fine with it as a one-off e.g. DC home with chicken pox, school closed for strikes etc. but for weeks at a a time it's not fair on the DC or the employer.

Do any of your friends have a sensible older teenager? Just to have another 'adult' in the house to make lunch/play/take to the playground...you'd still have to pay them but it might be cheaper than 2x holiday club prices.

Alternatively could you do a swap with another parent in a similar position.

Also, you may not know this as your DC are both past nursery age but you can use the tax free childcare scheme for holiday clubs too as long as they as they are oftsed registered.

I've done it since mine we 6 and 10. It's been fine, my mum stepped in sometimes to take the youngest for the odd day here and there and I maxed out on my flexible hours. So finished early and took them somewhere in the afternoon. Started work early (like 6.30 and then finished 3) Just shifted things with them later in the day and then worked a bit in the evenings. Youngest is now 12 and don't really have to do that anymore as it's more popping out to drop them off somewhere. Terrible mum guilt at times due to too much Xbox but they preferred that to holiday clubs which they hated!

I'm really surprised that so many people think this is unreasonable. It's completely fine! Sounds like the majority of the holiday they'll have constant adult supervision. And just 2 days they'll have the situation explained to them, be given games and activities to get on with for the am and pm, with a break at lunch time with their mum. This thread makes me so grateful I work for an understanding team. We have teams meetings and lots of staff log on from home. If anyone has to pop away to sort out bickering children our manager will just say 'aw what were they arguing about' check they're ok and move on.

I think attitudes to this are very age dependent.

Previous generations, there was a lot of pretentious behaviour. 9-4, sit in cubicles, do your commute. Not to mention talking to colleagues about weekend, lunch and other things e.g. what they’re watching on Tv. Anyway I digress.

Women HAD to give up work to become SAHM because they couldn’t afford childcare, couldn’t use their degrees after taking time out and had to do low paid jobs working around kids.

Men used work as an excuse to get out of childcare, staying at work often late.

Now, I’m quite young (in my 20’s).. I see men and women BOTH doing childcare. Doing pickups and helping out with the benefits of wfh. Which means women don’t have to give up work anymore which affects their pension and career history. I think it’s fantastic.

If people cannot manage their workload or are struggling, then that’s on them. They will get fired regardless. It’s just matter of time. But for me and others it is working. I get praised multiple times. I do my work, I even wake up early in the morning to get more done to stay up do date. I don’t have many meetings.

As generations change and younger people take over, working life will truly well change and become a lot more flexible which it should be. People in my generation couldn’t care less, they like going gym before work and having the flexibility to manage their own schedule and anatomy. University taught me how to manage my time, be efficient and affective.

I would hate to go back to 5 days office, 8-4 sit on bums. I wouldn’t be able to go gym, be flexible and have a good life. Also no one sends emails after 5pm, there is a motto not to work late in night because not fair. No emails on weekend either. 1 if rarely. But that’s hardly anything.

Plus, not to mention coat of living crisis and wages being shit. Not going up with inflation. If employers want more, they need to pay better. Simple as.

People are leaving jobs for more flexibility, even in companies like Facebook, Google and Apple etc are struggling to get people in offices. If they’re struggling to get people in, then that says it all. They’ve got the brains to work there, which means they can easily find another job with a employer with better flexibility.

Me too! Very age dependent. The flexibility is amazing, women don’t have to give up work to become SAHM anymore. Don’t have to give up pension and can have a career.

Roll eyes or not, they’re absolutely correct.
If I found my employees were spending paid time entertaining their kids, they’d be back in the office the following Monday

A lot of people (including men as people say it’s just women) at my workplace are want a 4 day working week lol. How times have changed!!

I do this occasionally. I wouldn't for a whole week. But once or twice a week in the holidays works out fine for us. I start an hour earlier and take a two hour lunch and try to meet up with some friends in the park so they can have a run around and play.

Maybe if you were actually employing people you'd see the value of flexible working and happier employees for your business model. But that's not your job is it. There's probably a reason for that.

Same here. My work has always been supportive of this. Years before covid.

The problem is people don’t see this. They’re very rigid and that’s why their employees aren’t happy. If my employer was like this, I’d take my education and skills, go elsewhere. I work in IT/Digital sector, so there’s a lot of demand for people. They can’t fill vacancies.

In fairness once younger generation takes over, it’ll be better. Much more flexible working environments in comparison to baby boomers and older generations.

The gender pay gap is still significant. Women lose out financially and professionally when they have children. Child care is expensive - and who steps in when it fails?
I think there are serious debates to be had about this. It just saddens me that some on here just want to reduce it to a slanging match.

It depends on your job and your DC.

At those ages my DC didn't get along so I couldn't have left them to their own devices, although friends' DC would have been ok. By 8 and 11 they would have been fine.

My current job involves phone shifts so I couldn't deal with any issues during that time. Friends who WFH permanently need to get work done but can be fully flexible on when it is done. If your job is the latter I don't see a problem with your DC being at home largely occupying themselves.