AIBU?
To think I can WFH 9-5 in the holidays with my kids at home
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 05/03/2023 13:38
I recently started a new job where I’m based at home full time. Was a bit nervous at first not going into an office as I’ve only ever had office based roles but I’ve found a good rhythm and routine and we meet in big city once a month so I’m happy with that.
I was off through February half term but I don’t want to use all my holidays too soon. Obviously Easter holidays are coming up. My kids are 6&9. Holiday clubs not only cost a fortune but the kids absolutely hate going to them. I can get family childcare for a couple of days and DH can take a couple of days off bit WIBU to keep them at home while I work? They’re old enough to entertain themselves i’d just need to make their lunch and check they’re still alive.
For context - I know people at my new work who WFH on half days with their 1yo babies there. One of them was late to a meeting the other day because the health visitor was round!
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
anexcellentwoman · 19/03/2023 15:11
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 19/03/2023 14:54
But I don’t work where you work.
PickledPurplePickle · 19/03/2023 14:48
If you worked where I work then you would have to sign to say that you weren’t looking after children while working - if they found out you were looking after your children then your employment would be terminated
You aren’t being paid to look after your children
I imagine you have no desire to tell us where you do work because you know your organisation would not approve of you combining childcare and work from home. I am sure there are lots of parents who do this but don't particularly want to draw attention to the fact that they do it. Particularly if it making many people including politicians uneasy about the consequences of this.
Quveas · 19/03/2023 15:19
She took the call with her gorgeous toddler sat on her knee.
I wonder if you are aware of how many "gorgeous" laws that breaks?
One of our directors took a work call whilst she had her granddaughter sitting on her knee. She was dismissed for gross misconduct. Because she was responsible for setting an example and implementing policy.
It doesn't matter whether your employer permits chldcare during working hours or not - working whilst actively caring for a child of that age simultaneously is a health and safety risk, and leaves the employer open to litigation and fines if anything happens to the employee or child.
Shinyandnew1 · 19/03/2023 15:23
anexcellentwoman · 19/03/2023 15:13
And part of the 'shit conditions' is the lack of flexibility to work from home.
Pubesofsoberness · 19/03/2023 15:10
People aren't training to be nurses or teachers because the pay and conditions are shit!
Which is very unlikely to charge as ultimately-they need nurses in hospitals treating patients, and teachers in classrooms teaching.
Reterpabbit · 19/03/2023 15:38
I know this will be a surprise to many, but not everyone has the desire to or enjoys working from home. Especially young people. Still doesn't make underpaid, under resourced careers like teaching and healthcare more appealing, but not everyone wants to fester away on teams.
Sleepless1096 · 19/03/2023 15:42
anexcellentwoman · 19/03/2023 15:03
There is a lot of evidence in the BBC news report about Government concern that the trend for WFH on Fridays has led to significantly increased absenteeism amongst school kids. The BBC is simply reporting from a Parliamentary debate about this effect of parents being home on Fridays.
The other point I am making is that with the HUGE demand on MN for mothers to work from home and supervise their kids is having a significant effect on the number of women applying to be teachers and nurses or other key worker roles. Which is the point being made in the other MN thread about the prospect of more online learning from home as it gets harder and harder to recruit teachers.
The Government has to monitor the consequences of more and more parents seeing it as their right to work from home. The fact that they are discussing this in Parliament shows that they are aware of the knock on effects of this on education and recruitment of key workers.
Women don't owe the government their labour out of the home.
If the cost of childcare is reduced/it is made more flexible and conditions/pay in these jobs are improved, then it may continue to be worthwhile for women to do them. If not, then key worker staff will be lost.
Shinyandnew1 · 19/03/2023 15:46
Pubesofsoberness · 19/03/2023 15:24
I wonder how many teenagers think neh, I'm not going to train as a teacher or nurse as I'd quite like to work from home
Yep. I would imagine they’ll be thinking…’if I’ve got to work 55/60 hour weeks which are pretty hard and stressful, I’d like to be properly remunerated for doing so’.
anexcellentwoman · 19/03/2023 15:47
I'm a teacher and I rarely come across girls who want to train to work in a nursery or to train as a nurse or indeed many who look at teaching as a career. Many students now feel that if they are paying for university they want a well paid job with good career prospects. So many bright girls want to study law or accountancy or business management. And why not? The traditional nurturing roles such as nursing and teaching look a lot less attractive these days. particularly if these nurturing roles are not family friendly.
Sleepless1096 · 19/03/2023 15:48
WIBU to keep them at home while I work? They’re old enough to entertain themselves i’d just need to make their lunch and check they’re still alive.
Generally the easiest way to keep children of this age from bothering you is unlimited screen-time. And I wouldn't be happy putting a 6 and 9 year old in front of a screen for large chunks of the holiday... you'd be doing them a real disservice. Far better that they're in camps or clubs, spending time with other children doing sports and other activities, for at least some of the time. Maybe let them have one or two lazy days where you take a couple of hours in the middle to spend with them?
Have you checked with their schoolfriends' parents which camps they are doing? Your kids would probably hate the camps less if they knew some people there.
anexcellentwoman · 19/03/2023 15:54
@Sleepless1096
You write
If the cost of childcare is reduced/it is made more flexible and conditions/pay in these jobs are improved, then it may continue to be worthwhile for women to do them. If not, then key worker staff will be lost.'
Recent figures concerning teachers leaving the profession in 2022
'55% of staff have actively sought to change or leave their current jobs (58% senior leaders, 53% school teachers)'
A friend of mine is moaning about her Year 2 grandchild having four separate class teachers because her school cannot attract and appoint full time teachers. This is the future and the government has to examine why teachers are leaving. It is not just pay but lack of flexibility compared to other working roles.
Sleepless1096 · 19/03/2023 16:00
@anexcellentwoman . I agree, but if the pay and conditions were good enough, more people might be prepared to overlook the lack of flexibility - after all, being a doctor is an inflexible role but it's something many people are attracted to as a 'rewarding' job. Likewise teaching, but the rewards are less and less and staff are expected to put up with more and more shit.
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 19/03/2023 16:45
the HUGE demand on MN for mothers to work from home and supervise their kids is having a significant effect on the number of women applying to be teachers and nurses or other key worker roles
Im really not sure you ca blame Mumsnet for the teacher shortage 
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 19/03/2023 16:47
anexcellentwoman · 19/03/2023 15:11
I imagine you have no desire to tell us where you do work because you know your organisation would not approve of you combining childcare and work from home. I am sure there are lots of parents who do this but don't particularly want to draw attention to the fact that they do it. Particularly if it making many people including politicians uneasy about the consequences of this.
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 19/03/2023 14:54
But I don’t work where you work.
PickledPurplePickle · 19/03/2023 14:48
If you worked where I work then you would have to sign to say that you weren’t looking after children while working - if they found out you were looking after your children then your employment would be terminated
You aren’t being paid to look after your children
@anexcellentwoman why don’t you tell us where YOU work seeing as you’re expecting me to tell me where I work.
I don’t give personal details on MN. Do you?
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 19/03/2023 16:47
anexcellentwoman · 19/03/2023 15:13
And part of the 'shit conditions' is the lack of flexibility to work from home.
Pubesofsoberness · 19/03/2023 15:10
People aren't training to be nurses or teachers because the pay and conditions are shit!
According to who? Give us a source. Because from what I hear it’s stuff like being assaulted by pupils/patients, overworked, unpaid hours, inability to cover colleague workloads
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 19/03/2023 16:49
Quveas · 19/03/2023 15:19
She took the call with her gorgeous toddler sat on her knee.
I wonder if you are aware of how many "gorgeous" laws that breaks?
One of our directors took a work call whilst she had her granddaughter sitting on her knee. She was dismissed for gross misconduct. Because she was responsible for setting an example and implementing policy.
It doesn't matter whether your employer permits chldcare during working hours or not - working whilst actively caring for a child of that age simultaneously is a health and safety risk, and leaves the employer open to litigation and fines if anything happens to the employee or child.
Sorry who exactly is gonna sue an employer on health and safety grounds for a staff member having a child at home? What would they even sue them for?
Genuinely curious
TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 19/03/2023 16:50
Shinyandnew1 · 19/03/2023 15:23
Which is very unlikely to charge as ultimately-they need nurses in hospitals treating patients, and teachers in classrooms teaching.
anexcellentwoman · 19/03/2023 15:13
And part of the 'shit conditions' is the lack of flexibility to work from home.
Pubesofsoberness · 19/03/2023 15:10
People aren't training to be nurses or teachers because the pay and conditions are shit!
Exactly and I can’t imagine saying to nurses and doctors “we are not allowing anyone else ever to work from home - you’re welcome” literally no nurses or teachers would give a shit
LethargeMarg · 19/03/2023 16:59
I think one day a week -depending how chilled your 6 year old is -you could probably get a way with . They could have a chilled day at home with a film and getting them playing with something that keeps them engrossed, going in the garden etc and taking them out on your lunch break for an airing but it really depends how good your kids are at occupying themselves, I think that some kids can be ok in that situation for the odd day but most kids would struggle to occupy themselves and be on screens or you'd be having to entertain them and neglecting your work .
anexcellentwoman · 19/03/2023 16:59
I am a teacher and I constantly hear teachers who are upset by their work life balance. A little googling brings up
The Teacher Wellbeing Index, a survey commissioned by the Education Support charity, found that 77% of teachers experience poor mental health due to their work, and that 72% report being stressed and overworked. The survey points towards the average teacher’s excessive workload, and a lack of a work-life balance, as being the key drivers for poor mental wellbeing among those working in education.
It’s little surprise, then, that teachers are set to quit the profession in droves: research by the National Education Union found nearly half of all teachers (a staggering 44%) plan to leave schools altogether by 2027, with 52% saying their workload is ‘unmanageable’.
I imagine cosy work from home jobs do not suffer from work/life balance without the demands of commuting and yet able to supervise children after school etc. Who wants to do it? Apparently fewer and fewer people are applying to train.
Invisablewoman · 19/03/2023 17:00
I thinks it’s ok for the odd day but not as a regular thing for days on end.
I wfh and had my nearly 12 year old home for two strike days and it was still distracting.
I wouldn’t attempt it with my 7 year old except in an emergency (e.g. he’s been sent home from school poorly early afternoon and we’ve muddled through with him on the sofa with his duvet and the tv). But it’s very far from ideal on both the working and parenting front.
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