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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL knowingly took DD out in her pjs

485 replies

pollydolly09 · 05/03/2023 09:56

DD (2years) normally spends one day of the week with SIL. The night before she had spent at my mums who didn't have any clothes for her to get her dressed in the morning, but knew SIL had some as she checked with her beforehand.

Later in the day, SIL posted a picture of DD in a coffee shop. DD was in her pjs. I asked SIL why she was still in pjs and she said she didn't know she wasn't dressed when she picked her up as she already had her coat on and they went out straight away.

I asked my mum what happened during pick up. She said she apologised for not getting DD dressed in the morning, she didn't have any spare clothes but knew SIL did so thought she would get DD ready before taking her out.

So either my mum is lying or SIL is.

Besides the point, you can tell what a child is wearing underneath their coat. DD's coat goes to just above her thighs. SIL would have been able to see her pj bottoms.

Mentioned this to DH who said he'd speak to SIL, but I don't think he has yet otherwise he would have informed me of the outcome of her conversation.

I've also now made a point of getting DD fully dressed before she goes to SIL. DH normally drops her off first thing, before she's even had breakfast, so she isn't dressed as SIL will dress her before going out (well I thought so anyway).

So AIBU to think that SIL knew DD was in her pjs and took her out anyway?

This happened a week ago, but I can't get it off my mind. I don't know if I should just let it go, but it just makes me so angry that my poor baby was taken out looking unkempt.

OP posts:
MoreSleepPleasee · 05/03/2023 11:27

You are extremely unreasonable.

Maryandherlamb · 05/03/2023 11:28

I think I'd honestly just be happy that someone had taken my toddler out to a coffee shop with them. As long as they were warm enough and comfortable then that would be OK for me.

bussteward · 05/03/2023 11:28

It’s bordering on négligéent.

MoreSleepPleasee · 05/03/2023 11:29

You should be grateful of the amount support you are getting.

Ozcando · 05/03/2023 11:29

Get a grip…my three year old granddaughter sometimes goes to nursery with her PJ top on! Not worth the time and hassle at 730 am trying to persuade her to change if in an uncooperative mood .

mumoffourminimes · 05/03/2023 11:30

YABU, she's 2

mumoffourminimes · 05/03/2023 11:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

🤣

CJsGoldfish · 05/03/2023 11:38

It isn't about my child being in her pjs
Isn't it? 😂
This happened a week ago, but I can't get it off my mind. I don't know if I should just let it go, but it just makes me so angry that my poor baby was taken out looking unkempt
Better start saving for therapy now..

Paesano · 05/03/2023 11:38

bussteward · 05/03/2023 11:28

It’s bordering on négligéent.

You win Mumsnet today 😂

georgarina · 05/03/2023 11:43

Jooliusreezer · 05/03/2023 11:03

So you think going around in pyjamas is ok, then?

Show quote history

Of course not. I know a girl who went out once in pyjamas and she was hit by lightning

Zooeyzo · 05/03/2023 11:45

I used to buy my kids cute pyjama sets as day wear at that age. They looked lovely in them. What's the problem? She took her out and you complain...I feel sorry for your SIL.

Starseeking · 05/03/2023 11:45

Your SIL looks after your DC ONE WHOLE DAY EVERY WEEK, and you're pissed off because they went out in pyjamas?!? Confused

In the nicest possible way, you need to get a grip. SIL is doing you a massive favour, and you really have nothing to be cross about. If you make a fuss of this non-issue, be mindful that your free day of childcare a week may soon disappear...

Liorae · 05/03/2023 11:47

Get the fuck over yourself.

ouchmyteeth · 05/03/2023 11:51

Your SIL looks after her for a day every week? That’s lovely

diamondpony80 · 05/03/2023 11:51

Very simple solution. Look after your child yourself. Then you never need to deal with these awful people who can’t do as good a job as you.

Dixiechickonhols · 05/03/2023 11:52

Pjs and top leggings look same. A 2 yr old isn’t going to mind.
If you aren’t happy with the free childcare (mum and sil) then you need to care for her between you and dh or pay for childcare and drop her off dressed.
I really wouldn’t say anything if you want to carry in arrangement. In grand scheme of things it really doesn’t matter.

Ladybug14 · 05/03/2023 11:53

If your mother or your sil lied, it might be because they are trying to avoid your self-righteous, unnecessary, entitled, and very ridiculous opinions

Rather than blaming everyone on here for being savage, look to yourself first

🙄

PartingGift · 05/03/2023 11:54

How lovely that your DD gets to spend a whole day with her auntie every week. And regular sleepovers at her grandmas. What a lucky little girl.

Streamside · 05/03/2023 11:56

My 2 year old niece seems to live in a succession of cotton matching 2 pieces from next and Zara. They're very like pyjamas and this incident wouldn't worry me at all.
Do you need this childcare provided one day per week, if so I'd maybe try and be less critical.

saraclara · 05/03/2023 11:57

If your sister lied and knew she was doing something wrong, she'd hardly have sent you a photo with evidence of her crime, would she?

SnappyTheCrocodile · 05/03/2023 12:00

YABU.

I quite often put my 4yo in joggers and a T-shirt for bed so all I have to do is put clean underwear on him in the morning and give his face a wash. He doesn’t cope well with transitions so this works a dream.

2yo went out on her bike in a fluffy onesie and her coat with DH yesterday. She was warm and comfy, and they weren’t leaving the village.

They’re both properly dressed today as they’ve had a bath this morning and we’re going out this afternoon. We’re probably lazy parents but they’re very well cared for I swear 😂

Sirzy · 05/03/2023 12:02

When Ds was about 5 he went through a phase of wearing his dressing gown everywhere. He was warm and happy so it didn’t matter.

2babies93 · 05/03/2023 12:03

YABU
Literally only a problem if she wasn't dressed for the weather. My 2 year old LOVES wearing her PJs out and hates getting dressed.

custardbear · 05/03/2023 12:04

If you've form for getting uptight about stupid things that's perhaps why she told a white lie. Either never let her look after your child again or suck it up. I'd say FU if you tried to acuse me of lying about something so benign

Griefgood · 05/03/2023 12:04

pollydolly09 · 05/03/2023 10:33

@Optionschange I was having a really rough day with my 4 month old and toddler. DM took DD1 for the night to ease the burden. She picked her up and left the bag of clothes behind.

Neither of us realised until later that evening. SIL usually has DD1 that day of the week and had some clothes.

Well aren't you the lucky one, having someone take your toddler because you're having a bad day.

Very ungrateful you are though!