Asked to keep it down in a restaurant.

[EmpressOfTheSofa]

Pretty mortified tbh but I don’t think this was right or fair.

We were a family group of 9 on a large table celebrating a birthday. It was a very ‘naice‘ restaurant (£30 main courses type of place) but the music was really loud. We were probably quite noisy but not obnoxiously so, we were laughing at childhood stories. Not swearing or shouting or chucking food or arguing.

In the middle of our main courses a waiter came over and asked us to please keep it down as another table had complained.

It really put a shadow over the whole thing. We go out as a family a few times a year and have NEVER been asked to be quiet or had any kind of complaint so I am fairly confident we weren’t actually arseholes. It was a large table so we weren’t whispering to each other, but equally not yelling. Although the music got really loud as the evening went on so we probably were ‘loud’ but only so we could converse.

I have worked in hospitality for many years and I just wouldn’t have had this conversation as a waiter unless someone was really disturbing other guests. I’d have nodded and smiled at the complainers and given them a free drink.

So, oh wise Mners. YABU you lot were clearly obnoxious arseholes who should have been thrown out. Or YANBU this was an odd thing to tell a large party in a busy and very loud restaurant.

It isn't the loud music. All you need are a few extroverts, a few drinks or more....and ditto in someone who has to have the most attention and you have a noise fest.

It doesn't help that restaurants try to sit people almost on top of one another despite being strangers. I refused a table once as it meant I was pretty much sitting at the same table as others.

🤷🏻‍♀️ It was 7pm & not exactly hushed voices/couples only. Tables of families were also talking loudly, we were really no different. It was the wrong place for a quiet meal to start with, if that’s what they were after.

Wrong place to ask for opinions, OP.

MN is the home of the anti-social recluse who never answer the door, and won’t let anyone except their ‘little family’ over the threshold.

Of course most people on here will think you were being unreasonable.

Meanwhile, in the real world, what you were doing - having fun with friends in a noisy restaurant - sounds absolutely fine and normal.

😆 your posts are getting funnier. Did you know?

YABU for using the word "naice" and YABU you must have been noisy if the restaurant had received a complaint from another table !

You weren't wrong op, carry on enjoying yourselves.
They were miserable soda who don't now how to enjoy themselves.
The waiter should have not mentioned it to you.

Miserable gits they were jealous of you.

Miserable gits they were jealous of you.

That's a stretch that even a herd of giraffes couldn't make. It's much more likely that OP's group were being excessively loud. Why on earth would anyone be jealous of them?

Large groups of people are loud. Especially laughing. And especially if there is loud music. When your ehavjng fun you don't notice the loudness. I recently went to a restaurant the group next to is was super loud, I started a few times when they stared to laugh. Didn't say anything but thw waiter asked them to keep it down. Yeah, it sucks. But sometime you don't know hour own loudness. It doesn't even have to be obnoxiously loud (whatever the definition of that is).

Meanwhile, in the real world, what you were doing - having fun with friends in a noisy restaurant - sounds absolutely fine and normal.

Of course you can laugh, talk and have fun but it's still possible for a group to be excessively loud even by large group standards.

We weren't there so can't judge. I'd just ask to move tables away from you if I couldn't talk to who I was dining with because you were loud.

I think you can gauge the probability. The size of the group. The fact staff came over and had to ask due to a complaint. The fact that the OP's threshold seems a bit low.

They were 'probably quite noisy' but not chucking food etc'. And not swearing.

I think safe to say they were loud.

The notion that chucking food is the litmus test of being too loud is a bit telling.

I’d have simply explained the reason you were talking so loud was because their music, which should be quiet enough to create ambience not drown out conversations, & asked them to turn it down.
How rude of them!

Now the truth starts coming out

I would absolutely leave a bad review. Why shouldn't you? Bad customer service and you pid over £800 for the privilege. Why should you not leave a truthful review? And if I were the waiter ai would prioritise the big party that pays a lot more than the couple table.

I think I would have asked them to turn the music down- especially when asked to be quiet. A polite ‘no problem, we’ll be quieter but could you turn down the music so that my elderly father at the end of the table can actually hear me when I talk at a normal volume?’ would have solved your problem

Well. As you say, that is telling. The OP thinks because they are a large group they are more important and allowed to disturb other guests.

I cannot relate to someone with that attitude.

I was kicked out of a resultant because my children were laughing. No joke. The table next to us were a huge table and they were making my kids laugh. They didn’t run around. They weren’t shouting

the guy said you’re going to have to leave now I said why? He said because your kids are laughing. I started laughing thinking he was joking and he said I’m not! He said you’re disturbing the other patrons. I said it’s the other patrons making them laugh!

we never went back. I was mortified…….

My heart sinks when a large party celebrating a birthday makes a racket. Always the same tyòes. Loud shrieking and laughter without a thought for other folk. YABU.

We were not there so can not judge. But if you'all had to raise your voices - a rather big group - then maybe other diners had to speak even louder to be heard over your already loud speech. The right thing would'be been to lower the volume of the music, so everybody could speak normally.

The couple are more likely to return regularly than a large party's

Who is this mysterious VIP you think complained about you?

It is more likely to be a couple trying to have a quiet meal.

You were louder than you realise.

Of course a large party is more important than a couple for a restaurant because they spend more money! Duh

I went to a really highly rated restaurant in Covent Garden. It was really dark and the music was insanely loud. No one could hear anyone else.

But they kept on having problems with a smoke alarm which cut the music and put the emergency (bright) lighting on. Those moments were bliss!

I couldn't imagine trying to work all night in such an atmosphere. We had to yell out orders to the waiter.

YANBU OP. If they play loud music what do they expect!

Not necessarily. I'm not saying the OP was or wasn't too noisy but if a noisy groups behaviour makes the other diners not want to return or even bother a couple of regular guests in to not coming as much then it's only a short term gain to have the large party in there.

There’s nothing more annoying when you’re trying to enjoy an expensive meal than when a big table of guests all suddenlyLAUGH OUT LOUDDDDDHAHAHA and make you jump a mile. You end up on edge, waiting for the next loud HAHAHAHAHA!!!! In stereo