Mine certainly put on an excellent act. At first, everything was perfect between us - for months and months. He was the man of my dreams - my gift from heaven. I now know this was the 'love-bombing' period of our courtship. Then, the early red flags appeared. To me, they seemed to be minor disagreements which we (I thought) overcame easily with discussion and humour. I thought it was natural for a couple to have differing views from time to time, but as long as they were resolved it would continue to be fine between us.
These red flags didn't become proper concerns to me until it was too late, years down the line. After we'd gotten married (which was 2.5 years after we'd met). They got much worse once we had kids together (about 7 years after we married). The mask has truly slipped now.
Now, he's charming AF to everyone outside of our family. Self deprecating, kind, thoughtful, considerate, appreciative, etc. That's hard to swallow when he is unreasonable, argumentative, selfish, bullying oaf to me and, to a lesser extent, to our teenage kids, at home. Not always, but too often. Together, we 'manage' his tantrums. Not ideal, I know.
In the past he was often flirty (overly charming) with other women in front of me. This has stopped now (in front of me at least) but only on my repeated strong insistence.
I now know I'm married to a gaslighting narcissist and that this is typical of how they operate. My kids have the measure of him and his sort too.
Every day I try to plan how I will leave him and always draw a blank. I cannot make it work. And he WILL make sure any divorce I instigate will be as messy and painful as it can possibly get so my exit plan needs to be slick.