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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Sunday morning lifts and bloody McDonald's

548 replies

reddwarfgeek · 04/03/2023 21:01

Just a rant really.
My partner is going to away football to tomorrow. He'll be out of the house all day from 8am to 9pm. He's asked me for a lift to the train station, but not content with that he wants to go via McDonald's for a breakfast. It's slightly out of the way and will mean leaving house at 7:30am to get an 8:45am train, thus adding extra time on, probably means get up at 6:30am. I know that isn't that early for some people but I work 4 days and we have an early start Saturdays for DDs hobby. Sunday is the only day we have that's more relaxing. I have to get DD (5) sorted up and dressed etc.
He said the reason he wants to go to McDonald's is he won't have any other chance to eat anything all day! I find this hard to believe! The train journey is long but what about the other 10 hours? Anyway, we had a big argument and he said I'm a moaning cunt and that I'm making him drink on an empty stomach. Aww ..didums! 13 hours free time on a Sunday apparently isn't enough 🙈 it all seems a bit ungrateful.

I've no issue with the lift I just don't want to go to McDonald's at 8am on a Sunday morning thus likely making us late. The one nearby has issues with being short staffed and getting orders wrong, so I've no doubt it wouldn't be straightforward. We do have food in the house to eat for breakfast, he just doesn't want it.
AIBU?

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 05/03/2023 04:01

HelloBunny · 05/03/2023 03:49

C, F & any manner of swear words are very much a part of everyday language where I come from. MIL swears like a sailor. Nobody bats an eyelid...

I love a good swear.

But swearing AT someone is different. Particularly as OP has clarified that he wouldn't do a similar favour for her and isn't grateful.

Fuck that cunt.

HelloBunny · 05/03/2023 04:07

True dat, Mrs TP.
Context is everything!

Rainbowqueeen · 05/03/2023 04:11

OP I’m glad to hear you’re thinking of leaving. Have you thought of contacting womens aid to help you through the process of getting your ducks in a row??? I think they would be really helpful to you.

You can email them. In the meantime make sure your contraception is water tight
Wishing you all the best.

VaddaABeetch · 05/03/2023 04:12

Swearing at you & using that horrible misogynistic word is showing that he holds you in contempt.

Telling you that you are trying to make him drink on an empty stomach is bizzare. He does realise that drinking alcohol is optional?

Asking you to get out of bed & get your young child up to facilitate his day getting drunk shoes he has a very strange value system.

Do adults really eat McDonalds for breakfast?

Ponderingwindow · 05/03/2023 04:31

reddwarfgeek · 04/03/2023 21:12

@fajitaaaa Physically, yes. Although not looking forward to what he's like tomorrow after 15 pints or whatever.
@autumnboys I think that's the way it's going.

You have a child in the house and you know what he is going to be like when he comes back. Why are you helping facilitate this? You aren’t responsible for him being a drunk, but you don’t need to help him get there.

Noicant · 05/03/2023 05:12

I would tell him to stop being such a moany cunt and get a taxi. Then sit and have good hard think about what happens when my DD is older, is she going to become so used to men like her dad that she ends up with one just like him.

QuitsAmidCrisis · 05/03/2023 06:04

Aiimeee · 04/03/2023 23:53

I'd do it for my DH no problem, because we get on great, love and respect each other and have no issue helping each other. Every relationship is different though of course.

My husband is a decent man; he would be grateful that he was having a day out and I was doing the childcare. He would not drag our child out of bed early so he can eat a McD. He would not inconvenience his wife on her non-working day. He wouldn’t even go out drinking pints all day as he would want to be a functioning dad and husband on his return.

Because he respects me and loves his kids. But as you say, all relationships are different.

Goodread1 · 05/03/2023 07:07

Hi Op@reddwarfgeek

You do realise you as a person are worth a lot more than the way he mistreats you by calling you moaning Cunt,
I dont know if you work or not?,
But even if you work on lower income or not working unemployed,you can still be entitled to universal social security benefit money too,
As a single parent,

Also can I strongly suggest you make sure you have separate bank/ building society credit union accounts from your joke of a so called Partner or husband ,

Squirrel away as much money you are able to afford to do so,
I know we living in financially difficult times,
So you have enough money behind you , when you decide ready to leave him for good,

Also vist citizens Advice bureau or anybody or any charitable organisation reputable ones who can give you budgeting sound advice .

Draw strength @reddwarfgeek from the fact lots of women on here and in real life have walked well worn path and got shot of of a Losers selfish abusive Pricks of a sick joke of a partner as this,

Also look into address what on earth has happened in your past in your life has drawn you to be acctracted or and be acctractive to a abusive twat of a man child guy like this Op?
it could be your childhood go back as far as this in some way,
Seek effective good therapy that will help support you so you will heal from whatever Crap experinces you have unfortunately in your life,

Also there are other charties such as women Aid ect,
You can find out names of others charties on the Internet,
that can support you to get away from this abusive Prick of sick joke partner
Please do so

Rember he knows that calling you abusive names ect as this is totally undermine you as he knows that if you develop or he sees signs you are becoming more cofindent he needs to knock your cofindence to the kerb as he knows that if you were cofindent enough you can do a lot better in life without him,
He is very insecure man in reality he needs you to prop up his fragile sense of ego himself to feel better about himself,

Rember we only get one life Op@
How old is your daughter Op?
I was a single parent left abusive partner relationship,
Social services gave me temporary support of women's charity specifically supports women to back on their feet too,

I also for while had a childminder registered with social services to have a much needed break, it was free whilst I had temporary support from social services too
Could you try this or even pay for a child minder out of social security benefit or and money that when you separate he will have to pay child maintenance as he father of your child,

Also you British Gov are going to address child care financial money wise issue make it affordable more so so more worthwhile compatible for women to go back to work if wish to or need to,

Also you can go back to college/day times Adult education or night school/or do online accredited courses if more convenient ect such as certain colleges have creche childcare facilities or have affordable childcare support
,find out about this with whatever learning facility it is,
Best of Luck Op
You are 100 per cent believe you deserve better
You are worth so much more than dead loss prick man child sick joke so called partner

halfpasteleven · 05/03/2023 07:07

Hope your morning went well OP. Let us know when you can.

mickeysmug · 05/03/2023 07:11

In our neck of the woods, being called a cunt is a compliment. DH and his mates from school greet each other with said word. We don’t call each other it though, even in jest.

Enjoy your day today OP.

Bigpinktrain · 05/03/2023 07:15

He isn’t off to the Manchester v Liverpool game is he?

my husband is going too, except he is a good man who wouldn’t ever call me a cunt. There are lots of lovely men who don’t treat their wives like shit- don’t put up with it!

RisingSunn · 05/03/2023 07:16

I’m sorry I know this is about a lift to McDonalds - but I’m slightly concerned you been ground down to accept this disgusting name calling as normal behaviour.

It really isn’t.

Goodread1 · 05/03/2023 07:16

@Aiimeee

The difference is your relationship is based on mutual respect isn't it,

Massive difference to @reddwarfgeek relationship isn't it !!!

itsgettingweird · 05/03/2023 07:19

I wouldn't have problem with lift.

I would have an issue with McDonald's as I'm sure he can eat food from home?

He should be getting 5 yo up and into the car (in pjs is fine they don't need getting ready).

I wouldn't be doing any of it now having been called a cunt.

itsgettingweird · 05/03/2023 07:22

Oh and I assume he realises you're not making him drink in an empty stomach? He's making that choice.

Snugglemonkey · 05/03/2023 07:25

ghostyslovesheets · 04/03/2023 21:03

he said I'm a moaning cunt for that alone he'd be getting a sodding Uber in the moring

Definitely this.

kateandme · 05/03/2023 07:40

there is no way a football match could ever leaves anyone without food.nope
he can drive and park?
he can cycle?
taxi?
but besides that this situation and the ungratefullness of it and his atitude means your within your right not to want to do it.

but op. you day you dont want it to be this way forever. and you are thinking of leaving.
this doesnt sounds like he or your relationship is getting better.infact you sound more done with it.
ut waiting. and fearing and not going for all the vlaid reason you mentioed fearing wont stop.and infact they will become and make it even harder to leave the more you wait.the longer you dont go the longer it will take to leave,get a job,settled,be strong enough,be supported,be emplyed,be having your own freedom,choices,your child growing up in this being more and more dmaged,you being hurt more.
the longer you leave it unfortunately the longer you will leave it. and harder it will be.

sashh · 05/03/2023 07:47

Get McDonalds delivered?

My local one delivers from 7.00 am and you can pre order.

susiesuelou · 05/03/2023 07:47

Seeleyboo · 05/03/2023 00:15

He said I'm a moaning cunt

Well yes darling. But I will be a warm toastie cunt in bed. Now fuck off and get an Uber

😂😂😂

daffodilday · 05/03/2023 07:58

YANBU. He’s a grown man moaning about not being able to organise his own breakfast ? A little pathetic

PooHeads · 05/03/2023 08:00

Aiimeee · 04/03/2023 23:53

I'd do it for my DH no problem, because we get on great, love and respect each other and have no issue helping each other. Every relationship is different though of course.

Oh for goodness sake, this is so patronising. Giving your DH a lift to McDonalds early in the morning so he can line his stomach before spending the day drinking isn’t “helping each other”. She’s not saying no to “helping” him, she’s, quite rightly, saying no because he’s taking the actual piss.

rookiemere · 05/03/2023 08:04

Do you have bread or cereal in the house?

I'm a bit flummoxed that McDonalds is the only food option available apparently.

As well as the disrespect, horrible language etc. etc. There's a phrase used here sometimes "When someone shows you who they are, believe them". This is a good occasion for that I think.

Winniewoooooooo · 05/03/2023 08:12

Another one to say I would have just done it. And probably been quite happy to do so. Just bundle 5 year old up, no need to get dressed. Pick up a McDonald's coffee for yourself aswell then home to snuggle up for an hour. No problem. My kids would regard it as absolute treat (rarely have McDonald's so......)

HOWEVER. If my partner ever ever called me a cunt. That would be the end. Full stop.

LikeTearsInRain · 05/03/2023 08:20

Morning OP. Hope you’re having a lie in or a long lazy morning. Any update?

Eleganz · 05/03/2023 08:24

If asked nicely I would have done it as long as me and the kids got a maccies breakfast too.

However, not if I'd been sworn at (although I'm also from somewhere that uses swearing like punctuation originally) and especially not if the reason was that I was "forcing him to drink on an empty stomach". This is a grown man who will have many opportunities to buy food throughout the day. Sounds like this trip is more about the boozing than the football to me, just another pissed up bunch of boorish lads, and we wonder why they struggle to get women to go to games...